Husband abroad for 2 nights when I will be 36 weeks pregnant

[Motherof1and2dogs]

I have posted about this before under the topic ‘pregnancy’ but I didn’t get much response at all so thought I would try it under AIBU just as this seems to get more engagement :)

I just want some reassurance more than anything that I should be ok but also if you think my husband traveling away so close to the due date Is crazy, please be honest!

So he is going Portugal for 2 nights and in the airport hotel for 1 night, he will be leaving Tuesday morning next week and then arriving home Friday evening. This trip wasn’t compulsory and he had a choice (work related) but it is a trip of playing golf, wining and dining with other colleagues and more social than business, I did tell him I wasn’t comfortable with it but he decided to go anyway.

I will be 36 weeks pregnant and I am petrified of something happening and him not being here, meaning me going into labour or even needing to go A&E for some sort of emergency. We have a 2.5 year old so my mum will have to be here with him if anything happens so that is covered but I would have to go alone (most of my friends and family are over an hour away, or have kids of their own, or just might not be available at the time if something does happen. This really upsets me that he could miss the birth of his daughter or I don’t have him here as my support and safety net, but also I have been told and read that babies coming at 36 weeks is unlikely, especially that my pregnancy isn’t high risk so that helps a little.

What would you do in my situation? Do you think I have nothing to worry about or should I tell him to not go?
I do understand some women have to do this alone due to work commitments or maybe personal circumstances but in this scenario he does have a choice and I just feel like it’s a huge risk but then if baby doesn’t come then he is missing out on going to Portugal. Would love some opinions please :) x thanks in advance

My first was born at 36 weeks, but then second was 38 and third was 39+5. The chances are you won't give birth but there's still a chance you could, so he really should have just stayed home.

My DH was away for work Monday to Friday at the same stage for my first pg. We had a plan for what would happen in the extremely unlikely event of an early labour. Which of course we didn't need. I think you'll be fine. Although if it had been a social thing I might have felt differently.

Unfortunately many people do need to travel for work, the good news is most babies come after 37 weeks. My ex not only traveled to a “conference” think lots of skiing, drinking and socialising and a few talks to make it seem like work when I was heavily pregnant with a 2 year old but again when dd2 was 10 days old, no family on same continent. We women cope with a lot when the time comes

My DH was sent to Canada for 3 days by his work when I was 39 weeks pregnant with my second. First one was late.
It was fine. She was born at 40+3.
My mum was 2 hours away so I didn't have that possibility either, but had a friend who offered to have my eldest if needed.
You would be very unlucky for the baby to come so early, and your mum will help. Im sure you will be fine. You need to get the anxiety under control by having a plan if the worst should happen so you are prepared, but then tell yourself how unlikely it is that you will even need it.

It’s frustrating that OP has to figure this out. DH is the one who is choosing to go on the trip, he should be the one to figure out the logistics of plan B. I’m also curious to know if he arranged for her mother to come or if OP had to figure that out too.

OP is going to be worn out by the time he gets home and she goes into labour, all because he wanted to go golfing to schmooze. It’s not likely to help him proceed at work even. Many business people would find it off putting to know that this guy has left his very pregnant wife and child alone to go on a leisure trip that really only has a nominal work component so they can expense it. In my field, that certainly would not be seen as a positive.

I think there’s a middle ground between unnecessary abroad trip to play golf and schmooze and ‘putting your life on hold.’

My neice's first baby arrived at 36 weeks, her waters just broke, so it does happen.

Having said that, I went in for an induction for my 2nd at 41 weeks, was given a nice story about how it could take up to a week for baby to be born, so I sent my birth partner home and baby was born in all of 2 hours and I was alone!

I must say I didn't have time to miss anyone or notice a thing as I was in the worst pain ever. I do remember a midwife vaguely saying, isn't anyone coming?

When I gave birth I sent pics of baby
Everyone was so shocked.
I loved it 😂
The labour started as soon as I had the pessary inserted, like zero pain and contractions to 💯 End stage!
I had a strong reaction to the pessary I guess.

I'd be more annoyed that I told my husband I wasnt comfortable with it and he ignored me. I'd at least expect him to talk it over with me and try and get in the same page.

At 36 weeks I would be fine with it. But I also have a history of going overdue and having long labours so I expect it wouldn't happen and if it did he could get back in time if I did go into labour. I think if I had a history of early and quick labours I'd be more inclined to think 36 weeks was a bit too close to due date but even then it's very unlikely.

My husband was invited on a stag do which would have been when I was 36 weeks pregnant. My husband immediately declined because he didn’t want to take any chances or leave me on my own heavily pregnant.

Yes it’s very unlikely that you’ll go into labour while he’s away. But it’s also unacceptable that your husband has chosen to go on this trip so close to the due date and leaving you with a toddler, especially given you told him you weren’t happy about it.

Is he generally selfish, OP? Is he a good dad?