Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

Exactly.

Absolutely not. Hard no
no loan whatsoever. He’s a chancer

As you say in previous post - even the most amicable families can fall apart in complicated Will situations.

It would be a hard “no” from me. I mean seriously “lend me your life savings and future security on a promise”? Really?

Your mum needs to see a solicitor to understand the various options and safety nets available whilst they are not married and if they do. Putting a charge on the house might be an option as might drawing up a formal loan agreement but enforcing can be costly and time consuming.

Once your mum understands her position they should both discuss this with someone who specialises in Wills/trusts for blended families. He is talking nonsense when he says he won’t marry her to protect his children - its possible for each of them to protect the separate children in this situation and marry. I would assume there are other reasons why he doesn’t want to marry.

Under the current situation what does he expect to happen to your mother if he dies first? Is she and his young son to be left homeless? It sounds as if she has no property of her own as a safety net/asset and would need to fund one herself from savings if he dies. Also if the child is less than six and he is leaving “his” money in some sort of trust for the child how will your mother be able to access this for the support of the child? Or is she expected to leave it for his future and use her money to cover all costs to the detriment of her own older DC?

Blended families can be complicated and all these issues should be discussed before death, not after.

@Winter2020

Yes she could do that but it still sounds complicated and long winded and what if something happens to his company or there are other considerations she's got no idea about.

Obviously I'm definitely going to try and get her to take legal advice.

There is no way she should lend that without independent legal advice and a first charge over the property, but even then she would need to think about the emotional and legal costs of enforcing the charge and sale of the property.

@Moniworries Absolutely no way should your mother do this she would be utterly mad!

They aren't married so if her DP dies all his assets go to the legal next of kin which is his eldest child so your mother loses her life savings and the roof over her head that SHE PAID FOR whilst DP family gets it all, but the biggest red flag for me is the DP won't put your mother on the deeds that shows a real lack of trust he wants to 'borrow' her life savings but doesn't want her name on the paperwork. Sorry but no thats stepping into very grabby and cheeky fucker territory!

Absolutely not don’t do it. There are so many red flags in this. I suspect a lawyer would advise against it as even with legal documentation if the money got wrapped up in a trust etc. as the situation you describe sounds complicated, there may be no way to reclaim it in the event of his death or they split up. The old adage lending money to family and friends is a sure way to create problems and fallouts rings true.

If he doesn't want to marry her to protect "family truat and work shares" then he shouldn't be asking for her money imo.

He's not put her in his will so if something happened, she isn't in the will or NoK and relying on generosity of his brother.

Sounds like he's getting all the perks of being married with none of the commitment or responsibility. They're either a unit or they aren't, it seems he's just taking what he likes.

He can lend from his trust.

Hard no from me.

The only way she should do this is by her owning the new house until she gets her money back then transfer the house over to him. A lawyer could do this agreement and they can still move into the new house together.
it would be a shame to lose out on the new house when the money is there to buy it.

Very unreasonable to even suggest lending that much in a verbal agreement with no protection for her!
Bridging loan from a bank so she is not at risk, or
put her on the deed so she is protected. There should not even be discussion of this very high risk option for her (no risk to him).
Marriage is too complicated so can I have 250k ?
Bollocks.

Is your mum stupid? Because that is the only reason someone would do this.

My aunt did this for her partner but she made him update his will to designate her the money in his will just in case something happened. Well the house took longer to sell and was then lived in by one of his kids for a bit then back on market, he died suddenly before it was sold.

What then ensued was a very bitter reaction from his adult children about her taking their inheritance. It got very bitter and we were all very shocked as it was made very clear in the will the money was actually hers in the first place. Was a nightmare and aunt was so relieved she had the foresight to insist on this.

Matrons & rubyslippers

Have said it all ! Do not do this

@Moniworries but st the moment if he dies she has no house because it isn’t hers

this needs to be a wake up call

Does she pay half the bills?

Why?
Ops mum is living comfortably in his home and not spending her ring fenced divorce money!

My aunt did this for her partner but she made him update his will to designate her the money in his will just in case something happened

That's all very well in theory, @Matronic6, but wills can be changed on a whim, and not necessarily with the supposed beneficiary's knowledge

To be clear I'm another who thinks the mum would be mad to do this, and I'm not sure why OP's not explained why he can't just be asked to get a bridging loan

That said she's not mentioned if the mum works or ever has since meeting him, and whether she's made any financial contribution to the home at all.
Because if not, and if she was foolish enough to hand over all her savings and things then went wrong, I can see this getting nasty with the family claiming "Well you've enjoyed a free ride so far ..."

Wills don't guarantee anything they can be changed within hours.

He probably spends hours of his days thinking up good excuses he can give your dm for not returning her money to her....
It's hard to believe decent sensible people still fall for such scammers...
Which is what he is...

NO. Ask his grown up adult children.

Absolutely no way she should do this. She is risking everything, all her money and a place to live. He needs to find another way tondo what he wants to do. Can you get your name on her accounts and ensure it needs both your signatures to protect her.

NO, NO, NO!

I don’t think she should even think about giving him a loan, even if it is tied up in silk ribbons by a solicitor. On the deeds, or marriage - however “complicated” which btw is the shittiest excuse for not marrying anyone I have ever heard or no loan.

The only way I would be doing this is by taking out an all monies charge on the property (effectively a private mortgage), so that my money was secured against the property with an interest clause if not paid back. I did this when I got together with DH and used the money from the sale of my flat to pay off his mortgage when we moved in together. However, in that case, there was no commercial mortgage to factor in, I was paying off the mortgage. On a new purchase, if there's a commercial mortgage required, they will not lend if money is required from an additional party by way of a loan, and I would not want to be either an unsecured lender or a second mortgagee, let alone defrauding the mortgage company by pretending that I am "gifting" the money in the blind hope I ever see it again. So a hard no from me.

We don’t know what her financial contribution is to the arrangement or how much she earns compared to the partner. She may be paying more toward other family/household expenses as is common in arrangements where women think they can trust the partner who owns the property.

The partner has a bunch of ring fenced money of his own, he can draw on that if he wants a cheap bridging loan without the cost of paperwork/interest payments.