People who always big themselves up..

[craxer]

Do you know anyone who’s always signing their own praises, one way or another ?

my brother and sister in law are like this. It’s so tiring.

sis in law is ALWAYS bigging up my brother and herself and brother is always bigging himself up.

example - it’s ridiculous but she even manages to big herself up regarding health problems. She had a recent health issue and went to see a doctor about it. The doctor told her that it was pretty bad. She was like ‘ he was so surprised I was ok. But you know me ! So strong and I just get on with stuff !’…

or it’s ‘ you know me, I can’t ever sit still and I need to be working and doing things all the time. I never relax. I’m just always busy being productive. ‘

or about my brother ‘ he’s just amazing, all his colleagues respect him so much ‘ ‘ you know how intelligent your brother is, he just knows everything ‘…

my brother is constantly complaining how stupid other people are. ‘ I deal all day with other people’s low intelligence and stupidity’ he’s actually told me before that he thinks he’s better than everyone and has an extremely high opinion of himself.

these are just a couple of examples that come to mind and maybe it bothers me, because I know he thinks he’s better than everyone. But it’s hard to take sometimes !

Yes, I know a couple of people like this and it is tiresome, especially when it clashes a bit with reality and you're left a bit shocked by their lack of self awareness! I've pretty much always found it isn't the only foible that they have so I take it as a clear sign to limit my time with them.

I find it very useful to imagine them blathering on at the top of mount stupid (on the Dunning - Kruger curve) - that works quite well to turn my irritation into amusement before I can get away...

why do his parents need to big him up though, he’s an adult? It’s fine to occasionally say something nice, especially if it’s just you and his parents- just be aware if siblings are also there, it could be grating, if it’s over done.

Er… you say you big up your adult brother!!

@FingerpieI do if someone else is trashing him or something like that. Otherwise not.

Who on earth is “trashing him”??

and it gets odder still!

@Fingerpieyou’re quite invested in showing me up on this thread for some reason. I wonder why it’s hit such a nerve.

Yes, I worked with someone like this. It was insufferable and exhausting. You can’t really have a conversation with someone who is blowing their own trumpet all the time. She also was very competitive, so if you said anything about anything she’d jump on with her own bigger or better experience. For example, when my late DH had a serious operation a colleague asked me how long he’d been in surgery. “Ten hours, I replied”. She immediately responded, “ My DH had an 11 hour operation “.

I also big DH up to his parents occasionally - but it definitely isn't all the time. Maybe once every few months. More than that would feel a bit...not sure... odd/contrived/formulaic - definitely overdone.

Sometimes a thread intrigues and tickles me

this being one! 😆

@Fingerpieok fair enough! I shall continue to amuse, why not. So essentially ‘ trashing him ‘ was just a quick way to put it. But because life is life, occasionally there are frictions with other family members. In which case I do support him and yes, sometimes ‘ big him up’, if required. It’s not something that happens all the time.

30% of my team have ADHD and they're all like this, constantly hyperfocusing on their achievements & on Linkedin. Also, they don't like to take responsibility for errors and shift the blame on others. You'll never get an apology from them; mistakes will be framed as 'if you didn't do that in the 1st place then I wouldn't have done this so it's your fault'.

My PIL are like this. They can talk for hours about how wonderful they are and never notice when others stop responding and look bored.

I do, but I look past it as they're big positive people in general. They big up the people around them too.
It's refreshing, but I don't want to live with them.

Bigges??

My in laws do it too. But often more talking negatively about others and how incompetent they are compared to them.

One of my DC's mums is like this. I feel really sorry for her as she is so clearly insecure but it's also really grating and irritating. She is also obsessed with designer labels and I think that also comes from insecurity. She evens posts on instagram if her boss says something nice about her at work eg "my manager at the internationally renowned global company I work for said that I'm so organised [tinkly laugh] and he doesn't know what he would do without me [tinkly laugh]". It's so cringe.

I mean he is going to take on the family title and estate when the time comes so of course he’s owed the respect that the genetic lottery affords him …🤷‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️

Just change the subject OP or perhaps discuss whether humility is reserved only for those much less intelligent than themselves…

I have met a few people like this, but actively avoid them and wouldn't choose to spend any time with them!

It shows a monumental lack of self awareness!

SIL also says brother needs more respect as he’s the first born son. I find that a bit grating…

See, I think this invites some gentle piss taking. I would be talking to/about other first-born sons nearby (do you have one?!) and start ribbing them (with their full compliance!) about how much respect they should be getting.

Ignore @Fingerpie. They are a recurring poster who always posts under a different username and always is goady and annoying and asks the same question again and again. It is beyond annoying but the best thing to do is just ignore them.

There is a father and son in h's family like this, 'the big men'. NC with them through choice although other family menmbers treat f as if he's god and his s is god in training.
Both are utter twats.

I see this a lot on LinkedIn too

"Delighted to share" etc

Why is it hard to take how other people describe themselves?

It doesn't impact you one bit, its not like they are saying "I always get on with stuff NOT LIKE YOU, YOURE A LAZY LAYABOUT"

Positive mentality, "bigging yourself up" - has huge mental health impacts, its the first thing said to stop being negative, look for the good, celebrate small wins...

So instead of having on them, seething when they speak, why don't you focus more on you rather than what they do. You might be happier.

If not, just stop associating with them, you obviously don't like them, so you'll be doing them (and yourself) a favour.

I have a friend who tends towards this, but she does it via other people, “X said I’m looking SO amazing”, “Y was amazed at how well I did that”.
She’s insecure. I love her though.

I dont people big themselves up i have never come across sure it must happen but I just share information with people and they do with me, I don know some people who have some weird inferiority complex and come up with deliberately finding fault in others to try and balance issues they have within them themselves