Why the heck did he tell me this?

[Newbie5542]

I can’t sleep and feel really terrified. My idiot neighbour this evening told me there are huge snakes where we live (in uk). I didn’t believe him and he showed me pictures on his phone. We live near a lake and I’ve been here for 2 years but not seen one. I’m terrified and can’t sleep, I know I sound crazy but please help me. I kept checking under my bed and I keep checking in on my kids. I’m a single parent and have no one in my life to help me out of this fear, I’m so afraid to sleep.

Ive not read all your posts so sorry if you e covered this bug have you ever sought support and treatment for anxiety?

He's probably talking about grass snakes, they are so shy and prefer to keep themselves to themselves, I've only ever seen them when I'm doing my outdoors water hobby (they are good swimmers) and trust me they can't get away quick enough. They are not poisonous and I'd say the longest one I've seen is around 2.5 - 3 feet so yes they can get quite big. Don't forget they are cold blooded so need a nice warm day to become active anyway. OP please don't worry! I can guarantee the only time you may see them is walking around your lake and even then they will likely be swimming away from you. (If you have a cat however then be warned,. I'm constantly rescuing slow worms (legless lizards that look like snakes) from my house, they are her preferred choice of gift to me)!

Have you considered moving to Ireland. There are no snakes there.

This has to be a wind up surely? No wild snake in the uk has ever gone through the open window of a house and constricted someone. I kept snakes for years, they don’t just go off gallivanting around like that.

There’s also no such thing as a ‘poisonous’ snake either.

We live in an area with adders. They aren’t huge. I’ve never seen on in the house or garden.

Adders are venomous.

I saw more foxes on visits to London than I ever did in all my life living in the countryside!

We live in the countryside on a river. We once had a very large grass snake living on our terrace- I was amazed at how big it was. However, it lived there because our tetrace became overgrown and was a great quiet spot for it to hunt. The first time we went out there in a year we saw it and it slithered off sharpish and never returned. I've only ever seen that one snake here-they arw very reclusive and would never go near people or into houses. I think you need some cognitive behavioural therapy as you are really catastrophising here and you need to learn how to pull yourself out of these kind of spirals and question what is logical and what isn't.

I have twice had snakes inside the house (1 viper, 1 cobra)
BUT
I was living in Singapore!

Snakes in UK are harmless except for adders which are rare and snakes in general are very shy - they don't want to meet you any more than you want to meet them and can tell you're coming through ground vibrations etc and will slither away to avoid you

Hi @Newbie5542
It sounds like you live in a very beautiful place - and I’m sorry you’re not able to appreciate it as well as you’d like to 🥲

You can maybe tackle this problem in a couple of ways.

Practically - read every bit of advice on here including this post on how to help ensure under doors and windows are sealed so you feel secure in your home.

Psychologically - you’ve read on here how shy snakes are in the UK. So logically you know that your fears are very unlikely to be realised - even if you don’t creature proof your house!! So it may be a good idea to get some CBT to help with your phobia/ or hypnosis. You may be able to get some through your doctor for general anxiety. It may be worth investing in some privately if it’s keeping you awake.
My friend has had both for flying along with meditation techniques for anxiety and these have helped her flying phobia.

Finally, if you hate the countryside so much and are unable to see its beauty, it may be worth making steps to plan moving back to the city?? How possible is that??

One thing I would really try NOT to do, is pass my anxiety on to my kids. (I had a spider thing and had to do a similar thing to you to not pass on!) Maybe this mama bear feeling of protecting them will also help you get strength to tackle your phobia of snakes and wildlife.

wish you lots of luck! Xx

Yes, I have seen adders a few times in the uk but had to look for them. It was a sunny day and they lie out in the sun. Yes, they are venomous but not deadly. They don’t come indoors and are under a metre in length.

Don’t worry about them. You will probably never see them as they slither away when they hear you coming.

Your fear is lying to you.

My house backs onto woods and about 8 years ago I disturbed a snake sleeping 💤 near to my washing line in long grass. It immediately ran away under the shed before I could identify it. Only one I have seen in 18 years living here.

I moved to the country from the city and spent the first three years obsessing about "wildlife" of which there was far more than I would like. Birds falling down chimneys, bats, mice, huge spiders and all sorts of revolting insects, bloody foxes howling all night but I have never seen a snake, infact the only time I have seen one outside of a zoo was years ago in the undergrowth at a theme park weirdly. There are bound to be some plants that snakes don't like. Nature seems to be able to work itself out somehow. Do a bit of research and plant up some pots near your doors. It will make you feel better at least. Lavender maybe? If bastard slugs don't eat it it then it just have considerable yak properties because those little suckers eat anything. And it will look and smell glorious.

It might have been more useful to google large, killer snakes in the UK? I think that would have allayed your fears and allowed you to sleep.

I’m from Australia. The snakes and the spiders here will kill you.

Grow up. A snake is not going to break into your house in the middle of the night and bite you to death.

We used to live near a lake. I saw grass snakes a few times, they are absolutely harmless. Dh did see several adders but it was always when he was gardening, so he was digging something over and an adder was hiding, they don’t like to be exposed and they’re really scared of people.
There is not a chance they would come into your house, they’d much prefer it outside.

I suggest some therapy for your fear.
The snakes he’s referring to wouldn’t do anything to you and certainly wouldn’t strangle you or your children!

In my entire 66 year life in the UK I have seen 4 snakes in the wild. All grass snakes. All small. All terrified of me.

There are no 'strangling' snakes in the UK. There are grass snakes (completely harmless) and adders (venomous, but very shy, will keep away from humans). No snake in the UK would come into your house! I'm in my 50s and have lived in rural areas. I've seen an adder twice in my life. They live in heathland and woodland and are not going to be 'slithering over your pathway'. If your neighbour isn't winding you up, he himself has been wound up by something he's read online!

Must be true then 🐍 😱😂😂

Don’t you just love Friday night fun on mumsnet😂

I live opposite a pond and have found 2 grass snakes in my garage this ‘summer’. They are tiny, they get underneath the garage door in the small space between the door and drive.
I hate snakes, but even these I didn’t scream because they are so small, just got my husband to pick them up and take them back across the road. And make sure I keep the internal garage door shut in future, just in case.
we took a photo to show the kids, and the photo makes them look a lot bigger than what they actually are

Adders do exist in the UK but they’re not common and very hard to spot, i’ve never seen one. They actively avoid people.
You sound like you have a snake phobia.

The chances of one being in your house is zero.

Maybe you need to get some help as that's not rational

If you’re near water, they’re very likely to be grass snakes, which are entirely harmless and are very good swimmers. Please don’t worry!

On a very hot day I once went for a swim in a flooded gravel pit near a friend’s house, and saw a grass snake swimming a few feet away. It was just doing its own thing and was not remotely interested in me.