Why the heck did he tell me this?

[Newbie5542]

I can’t sleep and feel really terrified. My idiot neighbour this evening told me there are huge snakes where we live (in uk). I didn’t believe him and he showed me pictures on his phone. We live near a lake and I’ve been here for 2 years but not seen one. I’m terrified and can’t sleep, I know I sound crazy but please help me. I kept checking under my bed and I keep checking in on my kids. I’m a single parent and have no one in my life to help me out of this fear, I’m so afraid to sleep.

OP honestly the snakes we have in the UK are shy and don’t do any harm. I live in the countryside and have only ever come across a baby grass snake once. It’s doubtful you would see any. I really suggest you undertake some therapy to help you overcome your phobia.

Yes, snakes can't stand the smell of Carbolic acid. I have no idea where you can get it from though. You can also buy snake repellents on Amazon e.g.

amzn.eu/d/3pyJ084

Honestly it’s all good, i am in my forties, have lived in scotland my whole life. My garden backs on to the woods too. I have 2 dogs and have climbed many munro’s. Have only ever seen one adder in the wild and it was going in the opposite direction so was likely more scared of us than the other way round. We also used to own a pet corn snake and that wee menace spent his days trying to get out of the house, i promise you no snake is trying to get into the bed with you or your kids

Bloody hell 🤦‍♀️ I don’t know why this is so difficult for you to understand. We’re all telling her the truth, that snakes in the UK are timid, don’t want to engage with humans and won’t come near her or her home, and then you pipe up with ‘Oh, but don’t forget about this type of snake, that is really long and likes the warmth of buildings’.

Yes, they are in limited locations. She’s in countryside near water (which, incidentally, covers vast swathes of Wales). Having heard some of the things that the OP is worrying about (such as her children being strangled by a grass snake), do you think she’s in the mindset where she’s currently able to employ reason and logic to reassure herself that she’s at no risk? Do you think she would have picked up on the bit where they’re safe and harmless and probably miles away from her? Or do you think she would have seen the bit about enjoying the warmth of buildings? In light of her current mental state over this, which part do you think her brain would have zoned in on?

From your other, very sensible posts, it’s obvious it wasn’t done with malice. And since I initially @‘d you, some other posters have also said some really dozy things, so I know it looks like I’ve singled you out. But can you really not see what effect that would have had on someone who very clearly needs to speak to their GP?

Adder bites, while unlikely to kill you, can be fatal. Very important to get to A&E if you are bitten, even more so if it’s a child.

Only ever seen adders twice, both times it was in the Lake District.

You’re not gonna find a snake in your house 🙄
UK snakes aren’t big at all. We have a pet corn snake and she’s about 3 times bigger than any UK indigenous snake

OP please don’t stress. Snakes are very timid, they want to stay out of your way. They are not hige in the UK at all,
I’ve been bitten by an adder. I thought it was a stick in my compost bin and grabbed it to remove it. poor thing must have been terrified.
My arm swelled up and I went to A&E. i got put on a drip and monitored, but i was absolutely fine, and it was entirely my own fault for being dopey.

Grass snakes can grow to 1m - I’ve seen a dead one that must have been about this size - but please NB, OP, they feed exclusively on amphibians, which is why they live near water. They will not be remotely interested in entering your house.

OP didn't say she lived in England...

Wild snakes in the UK are not constrictors. None will come inside and it’s easy to fake stuff for likes. This is genuinely one of the most irrational posts I’ve read on here, everything easy to debunk with a quick google. And why on earth would you choose to live in the countryside if you don’t like nature? That’s the whole point! I hope you don’t spread this misinformation and fear to your kids!

grass snakes can get big but are non venomous, harmless to humans and harmless to dogs and cats etc and quite shy. They wont come in houses and they will try and escape quickly if they see a human.
Your neighbour would likely have been quite lucky to spot any, because most people never do as they are so shy. Is he a fisherman or a birdwatcher?

As for adders. I saw one as a child on holiday in Cornwall, basking on a cliff path, and then it slithered away super quickly. Ive seen another once at a nature reserve in Essex about 20 years ago, which also slithered away quickly.

I would absolutely love to see things like this, but despite walking dogs in various countryside places, nature reserves, including places with warnings for adders, they are just not that common.

I think your neighbour is trying to freak you out for his own amusement.
Read up about these animals. Try and get it in perspective and remember

1. You probably wont encounter one at all.
2. if you DID happen to encounter one, it would absolutely 100% try and get the hell away from you asap.
3. grass snakes are non-venomous and harmless
4. Neither snake is aggressive

Ah, yes. Facebook ... that well-known repository of accurate information.

But seriously, I've only ever seen three snakes in the UK and two of them were definitely grass snakes. The third slithered off whilst I was trying to identify it.

I really don't think you're in any danger, TBH.

FFS, grow up OP.

Snake populations are declining in the UK so I would be delighted to hear something like this. Try to reframe your thinking, OP. This is a good thing! They aren't aggressive and would have no reason to come into your house. They actively avoid humans.

I think you should seek some help for your phobias.

Do you have other neighbours? Have you spoken to them? How long have they lived there, have they had snakes in the house etc? It sounds like you have a phobia so why not check with the other people living in similar surroundings?

I saw an adder once in the woods. As soon as it saw me it buggared off sharpish :(

the only things I’ve seen that are reasonably large (but not like python big, just a decent size) are slow worms which look like snakes but are actually legless lizards. Loads lived under my decking at my old house and they’re beautiful.

theres an animal man local to us who is part of an organisation promoting animal welfare and conservation. Maybe see if you have anything local and see if you can learn more about them? Fear of snakes is primal and adaptive but knowledge is power - see if you can get your rational brain to overpower your emotional brain. Also remember, your kids are watching all the time and we have a duty to not pass on our phobias to them. My husband is properly scared of spiders but has reined this in because he didn’t want to frighten the kids. They now love spiders and while they’re still not his fave, he deals with it ok because of all the exposure. He won’t let me boy get a tarantula though - it’s not worked that well 😂

Same here in Suffolk. Every year people say they see them on the Heath and the dogs etc but we've never seen them on the base!

OK
well for starters we dont have any constrictors in the UK so that fear of strangulation can be put to bed straight away.
secondly, snakes are not fools. They will be able to sense your presence, and how big you are. That will tell it that you are FAR too big for you to be prey (as are your children) and that makes you more of a threat than something to be climbing on - it will do its best to keep away from you and your kids.
It wont want to come into your house. Your house is full of disconcerting scents and sounds, the environment is not good for it, the floors are too open and smooth. A snake wants to be in the ground it likes - so dry, stony, sandy soil, or hidden in crevices sunning itself.
The UK snakles are not nocturnal. They will be asleep at night, not out looking for people to slither over for shits and giggles.

Adders are not big. and they dont really tend to live where people live. They like heathland. We are in the SE and places like Ashdown Forest are where they like to hang out.
Grass snakes can get quite big, but most of them are not. We have them on our farm, we have laid down corrugated steel sheets for them to nest / bask under and we often lift up to see if there are any under there. Probably about 2ft long on average, although I did once see a big one crossing the road, who was about 6ft long. Again they are really shy and non venomous.

I've seen adders a couple of times, always on Dorset heathland. They are small and won't bother you if you leave them alone. Frankly, when in grassland I'm a lot more concerned about ticks.

I've lived in the UK most of my life and have looked all over the place for slow worms and grass snakes. I've yet to see one. The way to tell the difference is that you'll never see a snake blink because they don't have eyelids. If you see one blinking, it's a lizard.

I do know what phobias feel like. I'm so averse to wasps that I won't wear scent or eat out of doors after the first week or so in July - it does affect my life and I'm embarrassed about it. I don't mind them in spring and early summer when they're busy nesting and leave you alone; were they always like this I could happily coexist with them. But toward autumn when they turn psycho I cannot stand it. It's not the fact that they sting, but that they fly at you and don't leave you alone. I've tried therapy to overcome it but I still find them unbearable.

To torment you over a fear you can't help is cruel, IMO.

We've seen them (adders) in the long grass at the bottom of my brothers garden (long garden). He keeps the grass and bushes around the house cut well back and short and in the 10 years they've lived there they've never found them anywhere near the house.

No snake is poisonous.

We do have snakes in the uk but you'd have to be very unlucky to encounter one (well, you personally, I love them) and they only bite if they're frightened.

They're not very large either. He's winding you up. I am amazed that someone didn't know all of this but I accept it could be real

This is why this world is in such a fucking mess. Far too many people believe any kind of BS without thinking.

@Newbie5542 Google Snakes found in the UK and it will show you that (a) none of our snakes are big, and (b) none of them are dangerous to humans.

added (c) will not be anywhere near your home, and because of their cold bloodedness, will be tucked up somewhere warm and safe at night, NOT prowling round.

I had adders and grass snakes in the garden. Not a problem. They are genuinely scared of us and keep out of our way. Our local large park has adders. No one has ever had a problem. It’s a massive country park where dogs run through undergrowth and horses use it.
again. No problem

they are also not that big.
your neighbours been a victim of misinformation.

He's pulling your leg. We don't have any big snakes in the UK. There's adders, but they are in quite limited areas, and go out of their way to avoid humans. Plus they're not very big.
And there's grass snakes, but they are completely harmless and pretty small.

I’ve got slow worms as well. They are undeniably cute! I adore them.

in all seriousness op this shouldn’t be a normal reaction. Have a look at the wildlife trust website, they will have events near you for children where you go along too. Mine have done them all, they are incredible. As someone who thought they respected and understood wildlife before, I’ve learnt so much from going with them. I have much more respect and understanding now about British wildlife. We did a spider one, it was fascinating. We’ve hunted tardigrades, pseudo scorpions. Discovered bees. Found out about our native carnivorous plants and learnt about venomous shrews (not a problem for humans!).
it’s been so worth it. You’ll look at our world completely differently.