Why the heck did he tell me this?

[Newbie5542]

I can’t sleep and feel really terrified. My idiot neighbour this evening told me there are huge snakes where we live (in uk). I didn’t believe him and he showed me pictures on his phone. We live near a lake and I’ve been here for 2 years but not seen one. I’m terrified and can’t sleep, I know I sound crazy but please help me. I kept checking under my bed and I keep checking in on my kids. I’m a single parent and have no one in my life to help me out of this fear, I’m so afraid to sleep.

Yes, you did. And if you’d just left it there, I’d have thought ‘what a lovely, sensible poster and how reassuring she is’. But you didn’t. You read a post saying she’s having irrational thoughts and how terrified she is that something is going to come into her house, it is quite clear that she has health anxiety to a degree where she needs to speak to someone professional and you thought it would be a good idea to tell her about a fourth species exploiting the warmth of buildings. In what universe did you think that was going to do anything other than convince her that hordes of 2 metre long Aesculapian snakes are something she needs to worry about?

Adders are the only venomous snakes we have in the uk. They are generally very shy creatures and will keep well away from humans.

I've never seen a snake and I live in rural Scotland. And I doubt they would climb, slither, in windows .
Do try not to fret about it.

Snake owner here, i have 11 snakes, range of sizes. Snakes are runners not fighters, they'll always choose escape over attack.
I've been bitten several times, their bites are no where near as bad as a cats nip, a dog scratch, etc pain wise.
A paper cut is honestly far worse.
I understand it can be the way they move that can be so creepy, its just the poor things not having any legs.
UK weather is mild, they've no reason to favour coming inside a house than being perfectly happy in their human free habitat. They're far more scared of us.

Yes but that doesn't mean they are really there, the op needs mental help if they have paranoia

That is absolute bullshit @NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin . Even the biggest domestic pet snake is nowhere near big enough to eat a child.
Pythons at 20 foot long eat large rabbits, and can struggle with that, they're not lining up anyones kid, they were liking their body heat as they are cold blooded animals that require external heat sources. Their stomachs dont even take up 1/3 of their body length (body excluding tail so about 1/4 of total length if that) they can't eat anything bigger than that as it wouldn't fit in their stomach. It has been debunked as a stupid myth many, many times that a snake laid out next to anyone is "sizing them up to eat". They're just stretching out and enjoying the body heat.
Anyone with a pet snake should have the basic knowledge to know that, and wouldn't let a very large snake be unsupervised around a child, as the real risk with big snakes is accidental suffocation. Not intentional, but just the snake gripping to hold on for security if you're holding it can lead to accidental strangulation/suffocation if they get round the neck or upper chest and restrict breathing. No Snake over 10ft should ever be handled without 2 adults present.

Thats because they all live in Scotland and can only be found under their natural habitat which is the Kilt.

Partner of your fear comes from ignorance. No native snake will strangle your child, they aren't constrictors.

Oh OP, I promise you that if there was a snake (and it’s been two years in which you haven’t seen any!), it would be so much more scared of you than you’re giving it credit for. Humans are predators to them - they don’t want to get hurt or be in a situation where they could be, so they leave you alone. I literally tripped over an adder as a kid and it didn’t try and bite me, it just legged it.

If there are any (and people always exaggerate sizes when it comes to snakes), they’ve left you alone all this time - they’re not going to change that now. Nothing is any different to before you had the conversation, you just have the worry now. Don’t let your brain lead you down a path that isn’t going to happen

Please don't worry. The only venomous snake native to the UK is the adder and nobody has died of an adder bite for over 150 years because their venom is just not very potent, plus they are shy, avoid humans and are extremely unlikely to enter a house. Grass snakes and other native species are completely harmless.

Blimey, op. Google the snakes that live in the UK. They are not huge and none of them wants to meet a human. They won’t come in your house!!

Learning more about snakes is likely to reduce your fear of them, understanding what they do, where they go and why tends to help (it certainly did with my fear of moths and stopped a fear of spiders forming in its tracks!)..

We have three native species and 1 non-native that appears to be capable of surviving here - however:

• Smooth snakes - so rare that the people who want to see them and actively look for them struggle to get wild sightings!
• Adders - very small and dark, again not a snake you're liable to come across unless you walk on sunny moorlands for hours every day.
• Grass snakes - can get to 6ft, however they actively want to stick to ponds (not so much large lakes) and warm damp places like muckheaps with an abundance of mice/rats/frogs etc. They do not want to leave these preferred environments to come to your house, your house is a horrible dry barren place for them with no food.
• Aesculepian snakes - these are non-native european snakes. There are three colonies in the UK - Colwyn Bay and Brigend in Wales and a tiny area of Regents Canal in London. Again you're not going to find these snakes even if you went looking for them!

Snakes really really want to be left alone. Only the Adder is venomous and that can be treated easily. The others are constrictors and you're only in danger if you're a frog or a mouse which I suspect you are not.

They hide from us, they want to avoid us, they do not want to come into our homes and really are NOT found in our homes with any significant regularity (I am not aware of any cases of our native snakes being found inside peoples homes!). If you have a garden that has a lot of cover and a pond you may get grass snakes - they really will not come inside. They want to stay out and eat any mice/rats/frogs etc that they find out there. They are very much doing you a favour!

We only tend to see snakes if we're sitting in the right place outside being very very quiet, then you may if you're extremely lucky, catch one about its business or sunbathing. In 40 years of looking for snakes (I started young!) I have seen:

2 Grass snakes
2 Adders.
1 Slow Worm (not a snake, a lizard without legs).

Thats with me actively going to places they will be and seeking them out.

If you want to reduce the chances of seeing them on your own property - don't have a pond, don't have a muck heap - keep rodents down - keep lawns mowed short. Stomp around and make a lot of noise when gardening.

BS. They don't mate with others and create new species. And UK has native snakes so not all of them are dumped pets.

I did not post to try and scare her more. I am sympathetic and tried to give her info to reassure and calm her.

OP, snakes don’t just randomly enter houses. If one ever does, which is extremely rare, it’s usually looking for food like small rodents or warmth. So one of the best ways to make sure snakes stay away is to keep the house tidy, seal any cracks, and make sure you don’t have pests like mice.

If it brings peace of mind, you can fit snug door sweeps and seal gaps near the floor, not because snakes are likely to come in, but because it helps keep out all pests. I know it might feel scary, but the UK has only one native venomous snake: the adder, and even those are shy and rarely seen, let alone indoors.

There are no large or aggressive snakes in the UK, and snakebites are exceptionally rare. Deaths from adder bites are almost unheard of, and the last confirmed fatality was over 40 years ago, I believe.

I grew up on a tropical island and was quite used to seeing snakes all the time, including highly venomous ones but they do tend to keep out of humans' way. I the UK, you really don't have anything to worry about. But you can take the precautions I've stated for your peace of mind.

Posters are being so unkind. The whole essence of a phobia is that it is illogical! No point in telling OP she is being ridiculous.

OP, tell yourself that ultimately, him telling you this has not changed your rnvironment. It is exactlybthe same than it was before, before he told you, when you were OK.

If it is really taking over your life, you might be able to self refer for CBT. Sending you a hug.

They are in a limited location are they not?

The Aesculapian snake is non-venomous and the 3 populations are in restricted areas near the Welsh Mountain Zoo, Colwyn Bay in Wales, and near Regent's Canal in London.

She says she is in bushland near water, and I'm still waiting for further info re location to advise her further.

I’m terrified of snakes but it’s highly unlikely you’ll come across one. They stay away from humans.

I grew up in a country with plenty of snakes, never heard of a single person having one in their house though, it just doesn't happen.

I now live in the UK countryside. I've had my cats bring home snakes 3 times - but the snakes have never appeared of their own free will. All were under a meter long so definitely not huge. I go walking through fields/by rivers most days and have never encountered a single snake - you'll be fine.

I live very rurally and have done all my life and have never seen a single snake in my life. We just don’t really have them heee op. It’s very rare.

I would move back to a town or city, it doesn’t sound like you enjoy living in the countryside as it is.

Do you suffer from anxiety op?

There are snakes in the UK, but the chances of one coming in your house is remote. If you’re worried about opening the windows, there’s some netting you can get, I have an air con pipe so have netting as the window needs to be open 24-7. I hate wasps, so this works well. Try not to think about it as chances of one coming to your home is minute.

Has he told you about the bears yet?

You could always move to Ireland and put up with the rain. Or New Zealand and put up with the earthquakes. Neither has snakes.

Just don't step on the lines/joints of the paving slabs...

Joking aside we do have bears where our apartment is - and in America if you hire a convertible the VERY strict rules are not to leave food or chocolate in the car overnight as the bears will rip the roofs off and you won't be covered by insurance. (Sits patiently to be told this is BS and I'm making it up - I have the paperwork here somewhere from our last trip)

Plenty of rain in Wales btw - plus adders!