Ok. I feel like I am being unreasonable but I guess I want an outside perspective too.
DH has been recently promoted at work (copper). I am very proud of him. It’s meant that our family life has had to change as he’s doing a combination of early shifts (7 am start), late (3pm start) and a set of nights every four weeks. He tends to work six days, three or four off.
We live in outside of London, where he works, and the trains don’t always run early enough for him to get to work in time so when he started I made the suggestion of him using his parents house in SE London as his emergency base, in case of cancelled trains etc. But since he’s started he’s actually spending long stretches there - not a night or two, but three or four days on the trot. May half he was there all week as he worked nights.
We have 3 kids, our eldest is disabled and attends specialist school. I was able to get transport over Easter so I wasn’t running three kids to three separate locations on my own (DH used to work from home three days a week in his old role). I also work full time but I work from home. I don’t have any network - I live far away from relatives, no siblings, and I’ve not made many friends around here since we moved 2 years ago. In short, when he’s not at home I have absolutely no back up, respite etc. It’s relentless.
So tonight I got annoyed when he announced he was going to stay at his parents for another four days because otherwise to get to work he’d have to be up at 4.30am to drive to a station to get his trains. The kids got upset so he’s staying but he’s furious with me and gone to bed without a word to anyone, reminding me that he has to be up in ‘a few hours.’
I feel terrible now. Why is this so hard for me? I’m trying to be supportive honestly but I just feel so alone and it’s making me irritable. So.., how I can STOP being unreasonable about this??