DH refuses to measure bottles

[CharmingDryad]

DH refuses to measure the water and formula scoops when making bottles for our baby. The bottles have measurement lines on there. You just pour to your desired line, and sometimes pour a little out if it’s too much. But he says that’s too difficult to do. He also refuses to use the built-in level in the formula can to make the scoops exact so you know how much you’re giving her. He says, “that’s not how cooking works.” And “I just eyeball it.” He tries to eyeball the measurement, but it’s really not difficult to go ahead and use the level. Yet he refuses.

AIBU to demand he measure properly? Or am I being too fastidious?

Well of course he needs to measure it properly! Otherwise your baby is not getting the right level of nutrients.

Why do men do this? Think they know better all the time? What a fucking idiot.

This is outrageous - how dangerous !!! I think he is giving you a very clear message- he wants nothing to do with the work of looking after this baby. If you cannot trust him to take the most basic safety steps how could you ever, for example, leave your baby in his sole care? What age is your baby OP

He's a fucking idiot.

I could not put up with this. Is he really that thick?

This is what it says online
If formula is not measured correctly, either adding too much or too little powder to the water, it can lead to various health problems in infants. Over-concentrated formula (too much powder, too little water) can cause dehydration and electrolyte imbalances, potentially leading to seizures and kidney issues. Under-concentrated formula (too little powder, too much water) can cause nutrient deficiencies, slow growth, and even water intoxication.

Over-Concentrated Formula:
Dehydration:
Infants may become dehydrated, showing signs like excessive sleepiness, fewer wet diapers, dark urine, and dry mouth.
Salt and water imbalance:
This can disrupt the delicate balance of electrolytes in the baby's body, potentially leading to seizures and brain damage.
Kidney problems:
The kidneys may struggle to process the excess protein and electrolytes, leading to kidney issues.

Under-Concentrated Formula:
Nutrient deficiencies:
Babies may not get the essential nutrients they need for growth and development, leading to slower growth and poor weight gain.

Water intoxication:
Drinking too much water without adequate nutrients can lead to a dangerous condition where the body's sodium levels drop too low, potentially causing seizures, coma, and even death.

What age?

Kind of matters a lot.

Early on.. absolute no.

But to be honest by 2 years? When my son was eating a lot every meal.. I was just eyeballing it most of the time.

Sounds like you procreated with a total moron who wants the parenting to be your job.

Yep agree with everyone else, it’s stupid and unnecessary to refuse to measure. The dangers are as a PP has outlined. Why would he risk the health of your baby because he’s lazy??

From 1 they can drink cows milk

Who makes formula for a 2 year old? It’s fairly safe to say it’s a young baby.

It’s so he doesn’t have to do it.

Surely nobody gives a 2 year old formula?

He’s probably hoping OP will just stop asking him to do things since he’s “just so bad at it”.

He is an idiot. But how old is the baby? Obviously he should be getting it right-but if the baby’s tiny then it’s potentially a real emergency.

By two years I'm baffled you were still giving him formula at all ! My 15 month old daughter is on cow's milk, it's better for her and much cheaper.

OP, if your baby is young enough to need formula as a main source of food, your partner is being a dangerous dick. I'd be tempted to serve him dinner with a large hand ful of salt and, when he spits it out, say "oh, I just eyeballed it, it's fine, just eat it". But I'm a vindictive jerk 😁

But pp is right, he's showing you how much your baby's safety matters to him, or maybe weaponizing his incompetence so he doesn't have to do childcare.

Doesn’t he care about his own child?

Me?

Maybe that is weird in the UK? where I raised my kid it's quite normal to stick with breast milk or formula up until 2-3.

My point though was that the level of outrage should be in proportion to how small the baby is.. 2 week old refusing to measure, 6 months, 10 months, 18 months etc. it's all lazy but different degrees of awful.

He clearly doesn’t want to be involved in feeds and is trying to get out of it, if your budget allows can you get some ready made formula and tell him to use that so he’s still having to do the feeds but can’t make baby sick ?

Is he being stupid? Or is it weaponised incompetence?

The baby is 5 months old. I took over making all bottles about a month ago when I saw his “method” of doing it. I yelled at him, but he refused to change. I’m frustrated because there are still rare times when I’m not around and he needs to make a bottle himself. I’m showing him the comments on this thread as a wake up call!

I am no fussy parent, but that is just ridiculous. That’s weaponised incompetence at its absolute best. Sorry OP but anyone that stupid should not to be allowed to breed.

👏🏻👏🏻 couldn’t have said it better myself !

He can make your child seriously unwell doing this !!

Can you get the ready made ones so you know it is done right? If and when he complained about the cost.... well he'll have a choice won't he.

I'd be so disappointed to realise what an eejit the father of my child is. I'm sorry op ☹️

Wonder what else he’s going to bodge? Car seats, road safety, sports and games?

The measurement lines ARE 'eyeballing'.

I'm very much a 'ooh talk to your partner' type but this is fucking ridiculous. Either he thinks that it's women's work and therefore unimportant, or he knows its important and wants to get out of it.

I say this often on here, but it's amazing that men wonder why their sex lives tank after a few years of this sort of ludicrous nonsense.