DH refuses to measure bottles

[CharmingDryad]

DH refuses to measure the water and formula scoops when making bottles for our baby. The bottles have measurement lines on there. You just pour to your desired line, and sometimes pour a little out if it’s too much. But he says that’s too difficult to do. He also refuses to use the built-in level in the formula can to make the scoops exact so you know how much you’re giving her. He says, “that’s not how cooking works.” And “I just eyeball it.” He tries to eyeball the measurement, but it’s really not difficult to go ahead and use the level. Yet he refuses.

AIBU to demand he measure properly? Or am I being too fastidious?

What a way to find out your husband thinks he's superior to the lesser mortals that actually read the instructions on labels. Arrogant tosser.

Was it some weird power play? Like, he thinks he just knows better than the nutritionists who designed the formula and better than you, a mere woman?
It’s just such an idiotic thing to do; the measurement is there for a reason; they ensure the baby gets the right amount of nutrients and to ensure there is enough water so baby doesn’t get dehydrated. Was he actually happy to risk that? It would be small amounts off but at every feed, that would add up. And it was pointless and arrogant and just stupid to do that for no reason.

Is he actually being truthful when he says he is going to do it properly?

Don't fall for this - he's doing it so you will stop asking him.

Don't measure stuff you make his meal with, teach him a lesson!

His main draw is his brains! He is a successful professional intellectual. But he can be so stupid and stubborn about common sense things.

I’m sorry? He’s a professional intellectual? I think he’s in the wrong job love 🤯

So he's stupid & lazy?

How does he feel about sterilising?

Or anything else thar babies need? Like safe sleep and car seats.

Maybe he should use premade bottles when he's looking after baby

Please show him my comment.

I'm a retired midwife and I've seen one baby who died after being given bottles which were made up incorrectly.

The formula was too strong, the baby went into kidney failure and died in intensive care. This baby was three months old when he died and I've never forgotten him.

Weaponised Incompetence.

What a pathetic excuse of a father. I’m sorry OP.

Too thin and possible failure to thrive.
Too thick and the digestive system is not developed enough to deal with it and can cause issues.

I don’t know what your solution is but I wouldn’t be having this at all. No bloody way. Baby first, always.

Probably his way of getting out of doing it !! Dick

Well I guess it's nice he's agreed to stop risking your babies health. To be honest I don't think I could be with someone who was willing to endanger their own babies life as a way to manipulate their partner into taking on a bigger share of the parenting load. That is not the actions of a nice person.

OP, please tell your husband he is letting his ego get in the way of your baby’s health.

Seriously, it’s that ridiculous.

Please also tell him that it’s ok to not know everything, nobody is expected to know everything and on the rare occasion you may be wrong, instead of negating the other person’s viewpoint he should listen and to what they’re actually saying. In a situation such as this where a factual situation is being discussed (as opposed to theoretical philosophical position) it is possible to examine their evidence to ascertain if they are in fact correct. Admitting you are wrong is a sign of a mature and intellectually advanced individual. Being a parent is not a competition. You’re shouldn’t be trying to be more right than your partner.

TL:DR Read the instructions. He’s in the wrong and being a dick.

It's just being lazy . And really highlights how flippant he is about his child's health.

YANBU babies have been poorly doing this. Some put more water in to make it go further. I would get some pre made cartons and tell him to use them instead.

So scary! Im going to ask the doctor at our appointment next week if we can check if he did any damage. 😢

Best case scenario with his method is your baby will be constipated or have an upset tummy if too much powder is added and not getting the correct amount of nutrients if it’s made too weak. Worst case scenario is as an op said.

Why would your baby’s father want to even risk an upset tummy in their own child at such a young age?! Especially a preventable one.

Crazy.

I've seen mums on tiktok making up bottles with scraping off the excess milk on the scoop. People try and tell them their putting too much in. But their adamant they do it all the time and baby is fine. I miscounted a couple of times because someone was talking to me. I poured the bottle out & did another with a clean bottle.

He’s admitted he was wrong. I’m going to ask him to apologize to the baby directly when we get her from daycare to tonight. So he can feel the gravity of what he did.

YANBU. Glad your DH has agreed to start making up the bottles correctly. If he reverts to not doing it properly, one possible solution may to be buy ready-made bottles of formula. It is more expensive that the powder versions you make up yourself, but it's impossible to get wrong - you just take the lid off and pour it into a bottle.

My husband is an extremely chilled out person but he always measured the formula properly and never questioned it. Sounds to me like he wants to get taken off the job of helping with the bottles knowing you won’t want him doing it if he’s not doing it properly also sounds like he’s got you doubting yourself.

Also as another poster has said if you still can't trust him then have a stock of the small ready made cartons for him to use.
Ridiculous man .

It's not cooking. My DS was on formula from 6 months and I followed the instructions to the letter, as did his DGF. It's not hard, it's reading but you do have to be careful and concentrate.

Do get your baby checked out and take him with you. Let him hear what the doctor has to say ...

Midwife further up said she knows of a baby who died from renal failure because of over feeding. Babies have also been unwell because mum was putting more water in than milk to make it last. So no not just an upset tummy.

This is very scary. I was thinking the baby could just be terribly dehydrated but then, they’re a baby! Of course it’s worse for them than an adult. But dying from kidney failure… that’s awful.

I really hope @CharmingDryad has told her husband that, what an absolute idiot thinking he knew better.