DH refuses to measure bottles

[CharmingDryad]

DH refuses to measure the water and formula scoops when making bottles for our baby. The bottles have measurement lines on there. You just pour to your desired line, and sometimes pour a little out if it’s too much. But he says that’s too difficult to do. He also refuses to use the built-in level in the formula can to make the scoops exact so you know how much you’re giving her. He says, “that’s not how cooking works.” And “I just eyeball it.” He tries to eyeball the measurement, but it’s really not difficult to go ahead and use the level. Yet he refuses.

AIBU to demand he measure properly? Or am I being too fastidious?

Just to echo the point that no, this is NOT 'cooking'. It's akin to lab work and exactitude matters with a such a tiny creature. And yes, none of this should need saying to the baby's father.

I'm sorry he's being a dick - strategic incompetence is bad enough, but applying it to a situation where his baby's health is at stake just stinks. Here's hoping this was a massive brain fart/spectacular show of ignorance on his part and he sees the error of his ways right speedily now.

Weaponised incompetent with a cunty twist!!

He's being a massive dick!

What a poor excuse of a father is this the same one that put his crying baby in a dark room?!!

Er yeah, it’s not quite the same as cooking though is it? I’m happy to freestyle a recipe to my taste but if a meal needed to contain exact nutritional content for its amount you just need to follow the damn instructions! He’s got to mix it right otherwise it won’t meet babies needs

It’s not cooking. The fact he has compared it to cooking suggests he’s shite at that too.

Honestly this is close to being enough for me to kick him out. He is risking the baby’s health for the sake of his own (obviously misplaced!) ego. What an absolute moron. You shouldn’t have to do this basic work for him. You should be able to trust him to do his best to make sure your child is properly fed and doesn’t end up fcking poisoned. Wnker.

As others have said, he’s a fucking idiot 😡
Either he’s doing it deliberately so that you don’t let him do it again and he gets out of it = fucking idiot. OR he doesn’t care at all about the health and needs of his daughter = fucking idiot. 😡
I’d be upset and furious.

Presumably he cant be bothered to sterilie the bottles either?

I have heard of people watering down or thickening formula etc maybe to get baby to sleep.

People obvoously do occassionally make bottles up wrong but he will be consistentky doing it. Plus the baby is still very young and not even on solids.

How would he like it if his parents had messed up his kidney function from a baby?

It's still a pity that he refused take heed of your protestations though @CharmingDryad

Does he make half full bottles with a heaped scoop of formula type of thing or is he a little bit up or down on the water and the scoop is close but not exact?

Because the former is dangerous, the latter really isn’t and an insistence on being exact is pointless.

Even if he did agree to make them correctly I wouldn’t trust him. He’s shown zero care about the safety of the child’s sole source of nutrition. As an educated person surely he could have taken a few minutes of his time to research the health implications of doing it his way?

He’s not cooking, though, is he? He’s following science and mirroring what the lab says is the right blend.

If that’s how he thinks cooking works, ask home to make a cake by eyeball.

He’s a knob who won’t follow instructions because he knows best.

Obviously he's majorly in the wrong! But for your own peace of mind you could purchase the ready made formula for when you're unable to make the bottles yourself.

I honestly think it wasn’t weaponized incompetence. He loves feeding her. I think it was idiocy and arrogance on his part as commenters have said.

This all day.

What a spectacularly shitty attitude.

It's a tiny baby who relies on the adults in it's life to keep it safe and healthy.

He needs to be step and parent. There are some things that you just don't "wing"

I take it your dh is very handsome or rich? If not why breed with someone so dense?

Sounds like the name of a dreadful cocktail (which of course it is)
what a dangerous idiotic idea, glad he’s been forced to admit it

Your husband is either challenged intellectually or this is weaponised incompetence.

My child’s father once made his bottle so hot that it burned me when I tested it. He refused to remake it.

I was just so shocked at the sheer and utter selfishness of him.

Five years on from this incident I’m no longer shocked by the sheer and utter selfishness of him. I know what he is now.

Yanbu! The baby must be wondering what's going on with his milk!

I remember crying once in the early hours because i'd lost count ot the number of scoops i'd done for dd's bottle 😭

Edit, it is also very dangerous tbh.

It's very dangerous , your baby is at risk of Hypernatraemia .

He's arrogant because he has certificates. Imagine being that highly educated and still too lazy to follow the instructions on a formula tin.

And he needed a verbal kicking from MN to do the right thing. What a waste of space.

Who uses formula for a 2 year old???

I’m glad he has agreed to be more careful.

If he had not, I was going to suggest you switch to only buying premade formula. It’s more expensive, but at least you would know it was always made correctly.

He's a bit of a dummy isn't he. If not purposely nasty.

It's not 'cooking' and formula is very carefully calibrated and needs to be given in the exact form. It can be dangerous otherwise.

I'm sure I'm just repeating what everyone else is saying.

Ask your health visitor if there is a community nursery nurse or parent support worker who can come and visit him and educate him about how to make a bottle and take care of a baby safely.