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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my dd go on brownie camp (longish)

105 replies

Madsometimes · 22/05/2008 10:18

dd1 is 7 and really wants to go on brownie camp in July but dh and I think we are going to say no.

I know that she really wants to go and will be very disappointed, but we feel nervous because we do not really know the adults who are going. I know that they are experienced guiders who have had police checks and training etc but they have a lot of children to look after.

dd1 gets very silly and over excited and is immature for her age. At the end of April she went on a trip to a theme park. It was a blistering hot day, and although we had covered her with sun block before getting on the coach she came back burnt and incredibly thirsty. She was given money to buy extra drinks (in addition to packed lunch) but did not do so.

She also bumped her head on one of the rides and had a big lump on her head. That night she was nauseous and dizzy, so we had to keep her awake for a few hours even though she was sleepy. I don't think dh was very impressed and he in particular is very against her going away for 2 nights.

She does have a residential trip with school planned for September which she is going on, so I am not a total control freak - just nearly one!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 22/05/2008 10:21

I'd send her. She may have a minor scrape or bump but she'll have a fabulous experience to look back on.

Cappuccino · 22/05/2008 10:23

yes YABU

you are not going to let her go anywhere to a Brownie camp she bumped her head once at a theme park?

Oliveoil · 22/05/2008 10:24

YABVeryU

RosaLuxembourg · 22/05/2008 10:26

My DD is going on Brownie camp tomorrow. She is so looking forward to it. I would think very long and hard about not letting her go, it is an amazing experience for them and the Guiders are very well-trained - the Guiding movement is extremely stringent on safety now. How will she learn to be independent if you don't give her a chance to try? Making mistakes is all a part of that - and she could bump her head anywhere.

diplodocus · 22/05/2008 10:27

I think if you feel she's young for her age this may just be the kind of experience that will help her develop maturity. Presumably it's quite near so if there are any problems you could go and pick her up?

Original poster
Madsometimes · 22/05/2008 10:28

I think it will be less than an hour's drive away, but I just feel so worried

OP posts:
soapbox · 22/05/2008 10:30

Don't you think that we all feel worried when our children go away on trips like this?

But this isn't about us or our feelings, it is about them!

Cappuccino · 22/05/2008 10:33

what you are basically saying though is 'you are not responsible enough to go, because last time you went you did not buy a drink and you bumped your head'

it is a pretty steep punishment for not buying a drink a couple of months ago and isn't going to give her a hell of a lot of self-esteem

krang · 22/05/2008 10:33

Please send her. You say she's immature, but she'll never develop the skills to look after herself unless you allow her to go off and do things. This could really help her to be a bit more self-reliant. Could you perhaps meet the people who will be looking after her? Would that ease your mind a bit? I'm sure that Brownie camp is very safe - I very much doubt whether they'd let anyone look after the kids who wasn't trained.

nickytwotimes · 22/05/2008 10:34

As a former scout leader I hope I can help you feel better by saying that all us adults on the cammp spent the entire time counting heads and fretting about that most precious of things...OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS! Honestly, there are so many Health and Safety courses and regulations to be adhered to that she's probably as safe there as in her own back garden, lol.

Turniphead1 · 22/05/2008 10:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Saturn74 · 22/05/2008 10:35

If she's keen to go, I'd let her.

RosaLuxembourg · 22/05/2008 10:37

I sent DD1 off to Italy on a school trip on Sunday. She is 10. Do you think I'm not worried? Of course I am, and I can't wait until she comes back on Saturday. But I wouldn't be doing my job as a parent properly if I didn't send her off with a smile on my face and hope she has a fantastic time. We have to give our children their wings, no matter how much we worry that they don't know how to use them yet. Let her fly.

Cappuccino · 22/05/2008 10:38

unless of course your Brown Owl is as witless as ours

I am surprised she can get her own tights on of a morning

Baffy · 22/05/2008 10:40

Totally understand why you feel the way you do.

But I agree with the others that you should really let her go if she wants to. It all helps towards her building her own independence and maturity.

It's so hard being a parent sometimes isn't it!

Original poster
Madsometimes · 22/05/2008 10:43

Brown Owl isn't witless at all. I think it is just down to how well I know her. I am not particularly concerned about school residential because I have known teachers for past three years. dd has only recently become old enough to be a brownie so this is new. Anyway I have to go back to RL so I will think about this while I do my jobs and come back later. Thanks for your ideas.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 22/05/2008 10:47

YABU

can you go along as a volunteer?

Cappuccino · 22/05/2008 10:48

yes Effie is right

you can

I have to go if dd goes because of her disability

tell you what, you go instead of me and you can check it out and see what they are like

WigWamBam · 22/05/2008 10:51

Your daughter won't be the first seven-year-old that the leaders will have dealt with who is sometimes silly, over-excited and immature. You may not have known them for long but they will have been doing this kind of thing for years and will know exactly how to deal with whatever she throws at them.

She will have a fantastic time. You have to start letting her go sometime ...

Fennel · 22/05/2008 10:52

Hmm. I am not sure it's totally unreasonable not to send a not very mature 7yo away. My dd1 has been to woodcraft camp alone, aged 6. But I've been to two other woodcraft camps where 6yos are allowed without parents and really it's not always totally (IMO) suitable for the youngest ones. Last year (torrential rain for 3 days) two 8yos got sent home with early stage hypothermia, and I don't think there was anyone keeping a close enough eye on things.

not trying to scare you off, I know Guides and Brownies is much more regulated than Woodcraft Folk (I used to help with guides and brownies, but prefer woodcraft these days a lot because it is very much less rule-bound). But it's worth checking if you actually think the leaders are on the case for the youngest children.

MerryMarigold · 22/05/2008 10:52

i agree with cappuccino on the self esteem thing. freedom and responsibility bring confidence and maturity. obviously within limits, but this seems a very safe environment.

if there are any specific worries you have (eg. she is very fair and burns easily), you could tell these to one of the adults going and make sure they are aware, although I'm sure they will be making sure the kids have sunblock on etc.

largeginandtonic · 22/05/2008 10:53

My dd is off to Brownie camp in October, she is so excited. She has Turners Syndrome and will need to deal with her growth hormone injections herself.

Of course i am nervous and want to keep her at home and safe but this is ^her6 life and she needs to gain a level of independance and pride in that. I am sure it will be the making of her You have to let go!

Our Brown Owl is terrifying, no one would defy her Lovely though.

Bunch · 22/05/2008 10:54

I haven't let my DD go on Brownie camp for the exact same reasons. Don't really know the leaders that well, they can't even say my DD name FFS. I can imagine a Brownie wandering off and noone noticing. YANBU.

cazzybabs · 22/05/2008 10:57

Let her go...

Buda · 22/05/2008 11:02

I totally understand. DS is 6 (7 in August) and at his school they do an overnight trip which will happen in June. I have been pretty much anti the whole thing for ages. I think 6/7 year olds are just that bit too young.

I agree with the whole indpendence/confidence thing thing but I don't think they need it just yet.

Anyway - against my gut feelings I left it totally up to DS whether he wanted to go and he has chosen not too. Mainly because a couple of other boys are not going and we have arranged to take them to Vienna for the day and soak up some of the Euro 2008 atmosphere etc. (We are in Budapest btw!).

But if he had really really wanted to go I would have let him. And stressed and fretted the whole time!

It is bloody hard letting them grow up sometimes!