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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my dd go on brownie camp (longish)

105 replies

Madsometimes · 22/05/2008 10:18

dd1 is 7 and really wants to go on brownie camp in July but dh and I think we are going to say no.

I know that she really wants to go and will be very disappointed, but we feel nervous because we do not really know the adults who are going. I know that they are experienced guiders who have had police checks and training etc but they have a lot of children to look after.

dd1 gets very silly and over excited and is immature for her age. At the end of April she went on a trip to a theme park. It was a blistering hot day, and although we had covered her with sun block before getting on the coach she came back burnt and incredibly thirsty. She was given money to buy extra drinks (in addition to packed lunch) but did not do so.

She also bumped her head on one of the rides and had a big lump on her head. That night she was nauseous and dizzy, so we had to keep her awake for a few hours even though she was sleepy. I don't think dh was very impressed and he in particular is very against her going away for 2 nights.

She does have a residential trip with school planned for September which she is going on, so I am not a total control freak - just nearly one!

OP posts:
kittywise · 22/05/2008 19:26

you are indeed mad.

and unreasonable

Veraduckworthshandbag · 22/05/2008 19:32

Its not brown owls fault your daughter is immature and too daft to put on sun cream, get a drink, or mind her head.
Keep her at home, at this rate she will still be there at 40

AbbeyA · 22/05/2008 19:37

Away from Mum she will learn to look after herslf-that is the whole value of it.

Cammelia · 22/05/2008 19:43

My dd went camping with her school at age 6, with Brownies at age 8, with Guides at age 10 and is going again with school in a couple of weeks time (age 11).

It really is a good learning experience.

Cammelia · 22/05/2008 19:44

For the parents as well as the children

sophiajane · 22/05/2008 19:58

Perhaps my perspective is a little skewed. Always thought I would be relaxed about these things but then volunteered to go on DD1's nursery outing to a farm. We lost track of a 3 year old for half an hour. Made my blood run cold and it was, on the face of it, a very well organised trip with plenty of adults. I recognise this is probably a rarity but I have been wary of these trips ever since.

MarmadukeScarlet · 22/05/2008 20:14

In my defence my 7 yr old didn't want to go.

She still isn't that keen now, worried that she will miss me and about the difficult (for her wiith dyspraxia) rock climbing etc activities they will be doing.

I have reassured her that by the time I get in my car to leave she will be having so much fun she won't notice I've gone and I'll only be an hour away if she needs me.

I know she'll have a ball once she gets into it.

Heifer · 22/05/2008 20:22

can I come back to this thread in 3 years time, as at the mo DD is only 4 and I can't even begin to imagine letting her go away on a brownie trip for 2 nights with people you don't know very well....

Mind you, 3 years ago I couldn't begin to image taking her to school (nursery school) at 8.30 and picking her up at 3.00 3 times a week, so I leave judgement until she is 7...

Original poster
Madsometimes · 23/05/2008 14:21

OP is back
As you may be able to tell I am wavering a little. There are some older girls at the school who used to be brownies in the pack and I am going to grab their mum's and ask them if their children went and how it was.

I can see the overwhelming opinion is that she should go. My daughter does have some sn (connective tissue disorder) but nothing that would prevent her from going. Unfortunately the camp is a very large one with all the packs in the division (whatever that is!)
It is also under canvas rather than in brownie huts. I'm still not sure, but if she doesn't go to this one she will go when she is 8.

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 23/05/2008 14:30

Is the camp far from home? If it is nearby then you would have the option of collecting her. You could get Brown Owl to give a ring if she wasn't coping. My middle DS wasn't good at being away from home and if he wasn't settling the leader would phone and I would collect. I never made a big thing about it and now he is older he has no problem at all. Beavers don't camp unless with their families, so a 7 yr old wouldn't go on his own anyway but I think that is because girls are more mature than boys at that age. I think that if she is keen you should try and let her go, perhaps speak to Brown Owl and get someone to keep a special eye on her.

RubyRioja · 23/05/2008 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jesuswhatnext · 23/05/2008 14:31

mad - i truly think she will have a great time, i think some of the points on this thread are very relevant, brown owl will most likely have dcs herself, has been throurghly vetted and trained (don't forget, she does this because she wants to, not because she is paid to!) all kids react differantly to being away from home, i'm pretty sure that she will not be so far away from you that you could not go and get her if she became very upset (she won't, she'll be too busy )

fwiw - i think you have treated quite aregressivly(sp) on this thread by some of the posters, just because our dcs have been to camp and enjoyed it, it does not follow that it is the right environment for your dd!
you sound a nice caring mum who is just a little apprehensive about letting go of her child

Dool · 23/05/2008 14:51

I have a son who wants to go to a cubs sleepover! neverlet him go anywhere so I am a wee bit worried too.

but i know I will let go as he already says i treat him like a baby!

RosaLuxembourg · 23/05/2008 14:53

How many nights is it, Mad?
DD2 is off today for a three nighter.

uptomyeyes · 23/05/2008 15:17

DS1 went to cubcamp for the first time last year - he was 8. 2 nights under canvas. It rained for the entire weekend, every item of clothing came home soaked and tied up in plastic bags, when i picked him up he was wearing someone elses clothes. The only dry item in his kit bag was his flannel. He looked like he had been to Glastonbury in a wet summer. But he had a ball, a never look back, life changing (in a relatively small way) ball! he is off again in about 3 weeks time.

I was worried - he does have health problems and the common sense and concentration span of a gnat, but I knew he would either love it or I would get a call to pick him up. It was a very quiet house when he was away!

Saturn74 · 23/05/2008 22:35

"The only dry item in his kit bag was his flannel".

kittywise · 23/05/2008 22:38

When my 8 year old went of for a three night camp last year absolute NO clothes in his bag were dirty, NO wash bag had been disturbed. He had not changed his clothes, washed, brushed his teeth for 4 days.
That's the way it should be imo.

ladymariner · 23/05/2008 22:51

Sounds like my ds and his best friend, they are going on their 4th boys brigade camp in July, and they love it. I know now to only send the scarggiest, rattiest clothes he has as they come back shredded, the ones that make it out of the bag in the first place, that is!!! And they totally love it, really look forward to it.
I do understand how the op feels as ds was 8 when he went on his first one, I was on tenterhooks the whole time, imagining him wandering off somewhere, getting lost etc, aliens abducting him etc etc. But none of that happened. What did happen was that he learned a bit of independance and had a fantastic time.

MaudGonne · 23/05/2008 23:28

The child needs to be mature enough to apply their own sun cream and brush their own teeth. As a Leader I will tell them to do these things, but I will not do it for them.

Camps are hugely character building, and I have seen children blossom. For some children, who have been allowed no independence at home, it can be frightening.

Buda · 24/05/2008 08:54

I find it funny that lots of people are saying "let her go, mine went at 8 and had a ball" - the OP's DD is 7. That year can make a big difference.

As I said my DS is not going on his school camp-out as I feel that he is too young. I agree that they benefit from the independence but I think 6/7 is too young whereas it can be totally different at 7/8.

Have to say the comment by someone that if the OP didn't let her go would mean that she would still be at home at 40 - well sorry but that is just stupid. FWIW I NEVER went on an overnight trip as a child other than GPs. Have lived in 4 countries - moved country myself at 23. Am very independent and can cope with most things.

Found myself thinking about that comment a few times yesterday and getting annoyed.

AbbeyA · 24/05/2008 08:58

I always optimistically packed a wash bag even though I knew it wouldn't be opened!
The great thing about cub/brownie camps are that they can gain so much from the freedom and independence in a very safe environment.
You hear the very odd case of mishap on the news, what you don't hear is that ----thousand children spent the weekend in Brownie camps and all came back safe and sound.

duchesse · 24/05/2008 09:03

I really think that she needs a little independence aand time without Mummy and Daddy. She will be well looked after, and a few bumps and scrapes etc are sign of time spent having fun (she was prob nauseous and giddy from a combination of sweets+ coach ride+ rides). I think you are overreacting about this sorry. If she wants to go, let her go!

bucksmum · 24/05/2008 09:18

Let her go!

I'm off to cub camp tomorrow with 18 cubs it is a fantastic week we have lots of rules and guidelines we have to keep to and are always very strict on suncream and juice breaks etc.

She will have a fab time come home exhausted, a bit grubby (that might be just cubs!) and raring to go to the next one.

SPeak to your leaders but she will be fine

seeker · 24/05/2008 09:25

Can I just ask, what it is that people are worried about?

My dd never went on these things because she didn't want to. Ds has already been on several Beaver sleepovers and he's 7 - he loves that sort of thing.

So if your dc wants to go - why specifically would yo not want him or her to?

Buda · 24/05/2008 09:41

For me seeker I know that DS would have a ball but my worry is about night time - specifically that in a room of 4 DCs that he might either not be able to get to sleep or wake up afraid. He sleeps with me at the moment and is afraid of being in the dark.

I know he would probably be fine. However I KNOW he will be fine next year so will wait till then.