Children drowning on holiday.

[Nextdoormat]

Another week where in the news a poor toddler (2) has drowned on holiday. Devastating for parents. I am not casting blame or being goady, but how can we make it clearer that someone needs to watch a child 100% of the time if near water.
As a single parent I did take my kids on holiday where there were pools but they always had arm bands on when they couldn't swim properly and I never took my eyes off them, so no reading a book, snoozing, chatting and being distracted.
Perhaps it was easier when I had sole responsibility. Once my DS2 at the time aged 4 was just walking by the pool and another kid just pushed him in at the deep end. I jumped in fully clothed with sunglasses on and pulled him out, if I wasn't watching I could have been that parent grieving.
My heart goes out to the parents, what was supposed to be a holiday making memories turned on it's head.

This why 'well thry are a strong swimmer' is pointless and thos ridiculous things people attach to children to float, Not saying in this case but why do people not take water safety seriously

My kids have never been in a pool/the sea without an adult in it with them.

Im just now starting to allow eldest (nearly 9) to be in the water with me watching from the side. He's in stage 7, has done 800m badge and swimming in clothes etc. Ive still got eyes on him the whole time.

I remember pre kids being at an AI and the number of parents not watching their kids in the pool was obscene. A number of kids just had arm bands on and parents were chatting with their backs to the kids or reading a book. Honestly I think people don't realise that drowning can be silent.

I am the same OP, I see these articles and feel so desperately sorry for everyone involved but wonder how its happened. Awful awful tragedy. I could understand maybe if the toddler ran off and they didn't see where they went, and were searching for them but they'd fallen in the pool. Sometimes kids can go in the blink of an eye if not holding hands or being within grabbing distance.

If they were by the pool for the day and just not watching then that's a different matter.

Even when my DC are at fully supervised swimming classes (where they have 3 adults to 10 children), I never take my eyes off her for a second, just in case she gets into any difficulty and the swim teachers doesn't notice.

Unless we know the full details, I think the pool can be a bit of a red herring. It can only take seconds out of eyesight for a child to go a long way: there have been plenty of MN threads where a poster has been distraught because their toddler / small child managed to go missing in a shop or theme park, or let themselves out of the front door and get all the way down the street when they barely turned their back for 30 seconds. As previous poster said, the same may have been the case here, and whilst parents were busy searching all the obvious places in the house, their poor kid was face down in the pool.

I dunno, dd is autistic and loves jumping into water. I'm constantly constantly terrified.

When I took her into London, she had a meltdown because she couldn't jump in the Thames. I remember thinking, 'if I let go of your hand, even for a second...'

I imagine that it just takes one second, during a busy holiday, and it can happen to any parent.

My heart goes out to those parents, I can only imagine the pain. 🥺

It's really scary and having had a near miss myself, would never judge. Absolutely awful

Even in a kiddy pool where it's shallow, you have to watch like a hawk. A child pushed and held my head under water when I was a toddler.

There is a general lack of concern for child safety and pools in Europe generally, and a lack of education in the UK about this. In Australia, all swimming pools must have a secure fence around them, even pools at private homes. This automatically creates a culture where safety is treated as important.

There really does need to be a lot more education about the risks that pools pose for little children

A lot of it is alcohol related. Thats why it happens more on holiday.

Don't drink when you're in charge of your children around water. Alcohol loosens your inhibitions and makes you more relaxed. Too relaxed.

My DH jumped in fully clothed once as our then-toddler DC jumped out of the baby pool and straight into the deep end of the main pool that was right next to it. Who designed that layout?!
My DCs are teens now so I’m more relaxed on holiday when we go to the pool, but absolutely used to have my eye on them at all times in the pool or sea. It used to really surprise me (and piss me off) how many kids were in the pool with Jo parent in sight. There have been numerous times when I’ve ended up as the “babysitter” as kids have started to play with mine in the water, I’d ask where their parents were and be told “at the bar / round the corner” etc.

On holidays it’s often less clear who is watching the children - for example if I take my children swimming, I know I am in charge of them. If we’re on holiday, my husband and I are both there. It’s worse when we’re on holiday with family and there’s more children which creates more confusion over who is actually watching them all the time (we have older primary age children rather than toddlers).

When we’re on holiday or in a swimming situation now and we’re both there, we make sure we’re absolutely clear on who is watching them.

My sister (a confident swimmer with years of swimming lessons under her belt) almost drowned when we were on holiday when she was 10 and the trauma of that memory has really stayed with me.

We had a neat miss, DH and I took the kids swimming when we were on holiday in France. I was blowing up the water wings for the 4 yo and my 2yo was stood to the side of me waiting. Dh was carrying all the swim paraphernalia that you drag down to the pool with you and stood beside me looking for a place to pitch the gear when, out of the blue and for no reason at all, my youngest took off at a sprint between wandering people all the way to midway across the pool and launched himself straight into the pool.

Dh, who swims like a fish was able to dive and get to him in a couple of strokes and scooped him up off the bottom of the pool.

If I'd have been on my own I'd have had to tell my 4 yo to stay put, I can't dive - I'd have to jump and it would have taken me longer to get there. It was too noisy to get anyone's attention and I couldn't have got through the groups of people he slipped through to go around the side. I mean, it would have been a very different outcome, and I'll be forever grateful to my mil who spent years taking DH down to the pool everyday for years on end so he could do what he did.

I think unfortunately no amount of education will get through to every single parent. I'm not saying these parents are to blame because I don't know the full circs, but I don't see what more we could do as a society about cases of people not taking water safety seriously in general because there will always be people who won't listen, don't think the rules apply to them, think it's okay because it's just 5 minutes/they're just a few feet away/it's just one drink. See also all the other dangerous things people do in our society where the only reason no one gets hurt is luck, and when it happens people trot out "but no one tolllllld meeeeeee" like there should be a safety advisor going door to door specifically giving them a one-to-one that it's a bad idea to do an exhaustive list of things or someone standing next to them physically stopping them doing the dangerous thing.

TW
When my son was a baby he was playing in the bath. I was sat next to the bath watching him. He slipped under the water. Obviously, no harm done as I was next to him but I will never forget the image of his eyes being open under the water. If Id gone to answer the door or grab a towel or whatever at that moment...
The parents must be feeling awful.😪

Totally agree op.

When it comes to toddler deaths and drownings, on holiday is a classic scenario where two parents are out of their usual routines, more relaxed than usual, possibly drinking while in charge of dc, unfamiliar or unaware of physical dangers, and many of us in relationships or family groups have done the thing where we think a child is with our other half when in reality they are somewhere else.

There were also, incredibly sadly, quite close to me, two toddler deaths in ponds, when the families involved had just moved house. One toddler had slipped down the drive unseen and drowned in a neighbour’s pond and another had drowned in the family’s pond before they were able to get fencing up.

The same applies to drowning children who may not look panicked, and teens or young adults who dive in to too-shallow water and end up paralysed.

Be safe everyone 💐

Do we know the circumstances surrounding this particular incident? We all know just how rapidly young children can slip out of sight.

There was a case a few years ago where this happened. Child slipped away, parents were looking for him in the area but unfortunately he had gone into a nearby pool (or lake, I think) and drowned.

The other thing is, things can sometimes unfold too quickly for parents to stop it.

Same. And also a lone parent. I never relaxed for a second around water or roads with my children. I had to persuade my mum to come to the beach once when the eldest wanted to try the sea with me but the youngest needed to stay on the beach.

Well you can't, that's why it happens. It is known that a child is more likely to drown when it is accompanied by multiple people because we assume that someone has their eye on them.

It's tragic, and must be one of the most horrific ways to not only lose a child but also to die.

Even when you think you are watching diligently, it takes a fraction of time for something bad to happen.

The most terrifying thing about drowning is that it can be silent. In a busy pool, it is possible not to notice a child sinking to the bottom.

I once said no to my DD (who was then about 4 or 5) going to a family party where there is an unfenced pool. I wasn’t able to attend but family members offered to look after her. A family member mentioned that the kids may want to swim and I could not trust the adults in a group setting, with glasses of wine in hand, to supervise them properly. They thought I was mad but I don’t regret the decision.

There’s been a lot of stuff about this on social media recently with some high profile incidents involving American influencers. The stats about child drownings in the states are horrific, with all the domestic pools out there I think it’s the number one cause of childhood deaths. I had no idea until reading some of the articles, quite how fast it can happen. What can be done other than mandated fencing though, which is already in place in many states, I don’t know. Tragic beyond words.

A lot of children are killed on their own driveway, by parents reversing out. I think that some people are just less risk adverse, especially men, so fatal incidents happen. Look at the amount of grandads, who have dropped grandchildren from heights. The cruise ship one has never left me. I see it all of the time on holiday/days out. It's always men holding up young children, or letting them climb. I appreciate that women do to, but statistically children have accidentally more when men are in charge. I hate it when men leave toddlers to trail behind them crossing roads, speaking personally, I've never seen women (who have the children more so should be at their limit) do the same risky things.

Mine had float jackets when they were little and we had just moved to a Mediterranean island... we could put them on them before they were anywhere near the water. No blowing up to do. Plus more comfy.

It may sound counterintuitive but accidents seem to happen more when there are more adults rather than less. One adult, you are focused. 2 or more... someone else is watching.

2yo is obviously too young for water safety lessons, but education about it is lacking in the UK.

I heard about a technique some parents do at parties where they have something like a red ribbon and whoever is holding that is responsible for the child. They pass it between them but it means there’s never any crossed wires about who is responsible and watching the kids at the pool. Seems like a good idea because as pps say, a lot of the risk comes in when one adult thinks another has got the kids covered and they think the same.