Today I sent a venting msg about a work colleague to the colleague

[coffeegirl73]

Yep that’s what I did. Have a bit of a banter going with pal at work - the same person annoys us both. I actually hate myself for being drawn into venting I’ve been trying so hard to “rise above it all” but she was getting to me today. I sent a message to my pal but of course it went to this woman by mistake. She saw it before I could delete it. I messaged her saying that was a private msg and I’m sorry she saw it but it wasn’t about her - she just replied ok. I feel like such a shit. I really hope she isn’t hurt - I probably would be I know. Lesson learnt though. Anyone else done anything loke
this . Don’t be too hard on me I know it was immature and juvenile of me to even send a msg at all . Feel terrible

What did it say? She will know it’s about her if you said “it’s not about you”

What did you say?

oh god OP, was it bad what you said🙈
I always tell my kids never to say anything bad in writing aka text or message. Don’t always follow my own guidelines. I would never Whatapp my mother anything bad as she has form for posting WhatsApp messages accidentally to her Whatapp story🙈🤣

Aaaaand this is why we don’t bitch at work. Nightmare op, I did this by text message when younger, about a friend rather than a colleague but still remember the awful feeling. Do you think she will take it further, maybe claim bullying etc?

😂😂😂

Yes. I do it regularly. I sent a private text to the office phone. My colleague had to listen to it in robotic tones. I’m just glad it was one colleague and not another. I also send a childish video message to one of my best pals, but I’d sent it to my work chat. My daughter told me not to worry. She said at least they already know what I’m like and it’s not like I pretend to be serious and then they found out I’m silly. It makes my bum cheeks clench thinking of it. Just style it out. You can do it.x

This.

Ooof I've done it too, I sent an email containing a sarcastic remark about a universally disliked manager, TO the manager by accident. He read it and wrote a scathing response which shamed me to the tips of my toes. I owned it and apologised, and we were fine after that - he said he'd heard a lot worse said about him.

Oh OP we’ve all been there and it’s awful isn’t it!

When I was at uni, me and a few friends were organising a girls holiday abroad, but one of the group didn’t have a passport and kept delaying us booking things and saying she wasn’t sure she would be able to get a passport, but her faffing around and dilly dallying was making us miss out on certain deals and generally we just wanted it booked so we could get excited. There was a lot of back and forth and one day I called her to sort of tell her she needed to hurry up and decide, or bow out. I said it all nicely and diplomatically, but following the call I sent a REALLY long text to one of the other girls about how frustrating I was finding it all, it wasn’t fair on us etc etc and she was really starting to piss me off and yep, you guessed it, I sent it to the girl o was talking about, instead of our other friend. So awkward.

TBH I hope she rises a greivance

Its a place of work

A bit of banter going!! This sounds like bullying op. You should be ashamed. You don’t know what bullying does to people.
please resolve your issues with this person in a grown up manner.

Oh dear 🤦‍♀️

Put us out of our misery,what did you say?!

lol I did this once and then said a fake message to her saying omg I feel awful I’ve just accidentally sent a message intended for someone else to this person etchahahahah

You weren't 'drawn' into it.

You made an active decision to do it so own it.

🤣🤣🤣

Never put in writing what you would be ashamed to have read aloud 🤣

Did you name her in the message? Would it be obvious you were talking about her if you hadn't said "It's not about you"? Your colleague is annoying so you and your chum bitch about her to each other, you just have to hope she's a lot more mature than you are.

You shouldn’t have tried to pretend it wasn’t about her.

It will be very obvious it’s about her, especially with you saying ‘it’s not about you’

You should have apologised for hurting her and genuinely meant it. Just apologising she saw it is a bit shit of of you.

My goodness, how immature. Please try to develop a more professional attitude at work and never gossip about colleagues with other colleagues!

Ooops. Oh dear.

I once overheard a colleague talking to herself, forgetting that I was sitting right behind her. She was nattering away, obviously not realising she was doing it out loud, but having an almighty bitch fest about me, and something I'd apparently done. It was quite illuminating actually. I pretty much didn't bother talking to her again after that if I could avoid it.

All you can do is own it and apologise. My colleague didn't, and it really annoyed me, especially as she had no reason to do it. I'm glad I don't work with her any more.

Oh God, I know the feeling. I once thought I forwarded an email from my aunt to my mum, saying “Aunt Helen is a narcissist and I can’t stand her” but I accidentally REPLIED to aunt “Helen’s” email!
I owned my mistake, apologized for the words, and then never spoke to “aunt Helen” again, because I truly can’t stand her 🤣

oh, I would just die If that happened at work. Feeling for you. What did you say about them? In time, it will pass …

Oh here’s a worse one, to make you feel better. I had an ex who used to put his phone on mute and rant about his boss, then unmute and act normal in the conversation. He once got his “mutes” switched, and unmuted himself to say the most horrible, over-the-top ghastly things to his boss. Calling him names and swear words and everything.

awful ex - he was really spiteful- but my gosh, did he learn a lesson that day.

That’s a bit weird! Did she ever realize she was talking out loud? 😮

Ugh, OP — this is my nightmare. How awful! Sympathies!!! And poor colleague. The only thing to do is to front up, go and see her, apologise and tell her outright that you’re ashamed of your behaviour and should never have written it and it was a childish moment of bad temper. Take flowers if you can. Assure her you don’t really think of her that way and you were just out of order. And hope she accepts your apology. It will at least make you feel a bit better to apologise in person. There’s nothing else for it, I’m afraid! Good luck.