To think it’s not ok for Dh to nip out to the shop

[Istillhaventfoundwhatiwaslookingfor]

I work aa few evenings a week for a couple of hours.
As soon as Dh gets home, I go and he takes over looking after Dd, 7 years old.
Once a week, she generally goes to her neighbour friends house to play. We either walk round to get her or the mum drops her, we don’t have set times and all very casual. When i’m home, if Dd goes to play there, I don’t go anywhere unless she needs to come back or the mum walks her round and I’m not there..,usually the mum just says bye to her and Dd comes in the house herself through the patio door.
Yesterday she went to this friend’s house, Dh came home and I was leaving and said Dd was at friends house. He asked if I had any change as was going to nip to the shop, I said Dd might come back at any time, so he couldn’t as I obviously wouldn’t be there (plus, Dh nipping to the shop isn’t a 5 minute job like when I go)
He got confused and a bit peed off and said he wouldn’t be long. I ended up saying i’d have to stay at home while he went then as Dd could nip
back for anything. He huffed and I went as was late then for work.
He obviously then didn’t go, but Aibu to think it’s irresponsible that he even considered it?

What this comes down to is something we see on thread, after thread, after thread..... Women are reliable; men are not. Women put children first (all children - not just their own!); men do not.

T'was ever thus.

But you’ve repeatedly said that she comes home at random times so you have to be there just in case and the other family are lax - but if as you are now saying the grandma walks her home then the grandma will notice if no one answers the door surely and wouldn’t just leave your daughter at your doorstep to fend for herself? So there isn’t a problem here at all then is there..

He n eds to get her number and message when he goes and when he's back.

What a drama!!

This whole thing could have been averted with a bit of simple communication 😂.

Hopefully everyone has got everyone else's number and this will never happen again as people will text to let them know what the hell is going on.

I wouldn't be sending a child this age home on their own without a text saying, 'they're coming now-are you in?' and I wouldn't relax until they'd replied 'yes' and also told me she'd got safely home. I'm v relaxed but your way of working leaves so much margin for missing children that it needs to be changed.

I suppose I just know that he’s not that responsible

Yet, you married and had a baby with him?

Because it’s often the grandma supervising and just drops her at the gate and goes

So, you don't know where she is at all moments then?

This posts sound alike you wanted to go to your husband and say MN agrees with me that you should be able to wait two hours for a cigarette and not stop to look at the waves when you go to the shop, when actually, everyone has said, 'sort out the piss poor communication in your house when it comes to your child's safety'.

No, not that poor grandmother, me too, between both of us and safd grandma is a young grandma, late 50’s/60 maybe

Yes I know she where she is as i’m sat in the lounge when she comes in

As a fully grown adult, I'd struggle with walking into a house to find a dead body.

I can't believe I'm actually asking this but, do you teach your kids what to do if they come across a dead body??

Just out of interest for anyone else, have you taught your children what to do in this situation? I definitely haven't told mine what to do if they find their dad dead in a chair.

So weird.

Yes the OP herself could die while she is at home waiting for her daughter too. Or what if they were together and OP was looking after her daughter and then had a brain aneurism - what would her daughter do then?

What is your point?

Why does it seem some people want to insist the OP isn’t looking after her DD because DD’s playing at her neighbour’s house?

He asked for change to buy fags? Surely he should have been asking for a small bank loan? (They're so expensive!!)

Unless the DH has no fingers, he can do that himself, surely? OP isn’t his secretary.

If only there was an answer to this conundrum………

What pool, though? Is it safe??

edited to add: I’m with you, OP.

I don't understand why he didn't pick cigarettes up on his way back home in the first place

It’s her friends pool, it’s safe :)