AIBU to think not everyone can be skinny?

[renovationqueen]

Just that really. I have lost about a stone and a half in the last couple of years, I've gone from 11 stone to 9 stone 7 but I just don't look slim.

My weight has always fluctuated quite a lot but the past year I've been really actively trying to lose weight. My weight loss has completely plateaued the last couple of months, despite being fairly active (15k steps a day) staying within a 500 calorie deficit nearly every day (bar occassional nights out) and cutting back to almost no alcohol.

I've definitely lost inches and I can fit in clothes that I couldn't before but I just don't look slim. I have a stocky build with big boobs and always had a belly and big arms and I'm starting to wonder if it is even worth it. I was just hoping that after all this effort I might be able to wear a sleeveless top and not feel enormous!

Do I just go back to eating the amount of calories it takes to stay on 'maintenance' and accept I'm never going to be thin? I just can't help feeling bitter that it's sooooo much work constantly thinking about calories and the results aren't what I was hoping for.

So it's just got me wondering AIBU to think that not everyone can look skinny and life just isn't fair or do I just need to be more patient?

Or maybe IABU to even care so much in the first place 😂

(I'm 29 years old and 5ft3 if this is relevent)

A few years ago I lost a lot of weight (not deliberately) and ended up a size six - still had a belly. It was exceptionally annoying.

Anyone can be slim. Anyone can be thin.
The difference is some people lose weight easily or quickly and some have to work really hard for every ounce.

Then there's some like me who's a pig who despite being 51 years old still somehow thinks one day of eating lettuce will make up for a month of cake. 🤣

You’re a healthy weight for your height, but I’m 5’6” and a 9st 7 (which I’m not at the moment!) I am slim, but not “skinny”.

I’ll always have short (relatively) chunky thighs, that’s just my body shape. Be the best your body can be, but you can only work with its natural shape/where you carry weight.

I am five foot six, weigh just under nine stone and I look 'chunky'. I wear a size 10 but people are often surprised when they see me in something tighter fitting than my work uniform, because that makes me look enormous. I've got boobs and short legs and hate it because I've got a lovely small waist and it's just lost between the tits and hips. Resigned to always looking short and stumpy now.

Does it matter of your on a healthy weight range. I'd rather be a healthy weight with boob's and a butt than super slim

The lowest weight I ever managed as an adult was 8 and a half stone...I'm just under 5'3"ish....so it's not even a particularly low weight for that height. I achieved it by having a terrible infection which meant I couldn't eat.

I think you body shape and height affect where you carry the weight. I am tall and an upside down triangle shape. Think swimmers shoulders. I get called skinny, too thin often even though I have a normal BMI. We don't call people fat though, that is rude.

At an inch shorter and around 3 lbs lighter I felt overweight.
At 8 stone I feel healthy. Slim but not skinny. I don’t want to be skinny again (previously was underweight).

I've no desire to be skinny. A healthy weight, a decent diet and an active life are my aims.

OP you are right not everyone can be skinny. Have you ever been “skinny” at some point in your life? I think everyone has different body shapes/ bone density etc.

Although it is very easy to say be happy in the body you have … we are constantly bombarded with advertising to make us feel crap about our body shape and not losing enough weight (unless you do something drastic like surgery/ injections)

Congratulations on your weight loss/ diet change as your body will benefit from a health perspective.

I would rather shit bricks than ever again pursue the means it takes me to be 'skinny'.
At 5'8", I'm 12 stone and definitely overweight, but I've gradually brought my weight down from what was 15 stone and I'm happy to plateau, as I can't afford to allow myself to become too obsessive/regimented around food.
Throughout my life, I've yo-yo-ed (ranging from 8.5 st to over 16 st, so I'm cutting my poor, ruined body some slack.

That's what so sad these days: people used to aim to be a healthy weight for their height and body type. Now the emphasis is on trying to be skinny.

All the years of feminism and the pressures put on women to look a certain way, to conform to fashion and be clones of each other is worse than ever.

Do you do any exercises to tone up? 20 minutes basic yoga one day, 20 mins strength training the next day, a day off, then repeat - that works quickly for me when I stick to it. It really makes a difference in body shape and clothes will sit better.

No you're right, everyone could be skinny, but a whole heap of people wouldn't be anywhere near "healthy" at a skinny appearance.

I was discussing this with my Mum. She's in her 70s and spent her whole life dieting as wasn't a small size, but always reverts back to being a size 14 and never goes smaller than a 12.

No-one would ever look at her and consider her anything other than "slim", she doesn't have excess fat anywhere. To be a smaller size, she'd be skeletal. As it is she's still very fit and healthy, and just fills her frame.

I'm the same. Always done a lot of sport, at my skinniest (size 8 on top, looked positively ill) I was still 11stone. I am 5'8 and again wide framed. I now lift very heavy weights (competitive weightlifting) and have very low bodyfat, but will maintain a size 12-14. I do not look skinny.

Just move your body, embrace and build it's strength and eat good food. It'll find it's best shape then.

This isn’t really true though is it! There’s always been pressure to be skinny over being healthy. Look at the 90s, 60s, or fashions from the 20s. Which royal was it who tied a piece of string round her waist to keep slim? (thinking Queen Victoria).

I’ll never be slim OP because I have massive norks. It doesn’t matter how low my weight is my boobs always add several more inches to my figure. My underbust measurement is 34, but there’s no way I could get down to 32 without removing a rib.

Of course everyone can be skinny. Not everyone wants to.

It's obviously harder to lose weight than to maintain a "low" weight, and there are different body shapes, but no reason why someone could not be skinny. If you push it to the max, no one can be starving and fat. Everyone can be underweight and look it. Why would you want to is another question.

It's a fashion and a choice. I am more interested in being toned and I think muscles look a lot better than just "skinny".

I completely agree that not everyone can be slim. I’ve noticed it with friends in the past; even in some young people.

As a Drama/Dance student I once had a teacher that told me “no one looks good on stage with a BMI over (something really low)”

At 21 I was 9st at 5ft 7 but I’ve always had broader shoulders, and never managed a toned belly. I have always boobs and hip dips. I was “the big one”. I ate so healthily and worked out literally every day but it just didn’t happen.

other friends ate terribly but were tiny! And rewarded for it!

I really think that some people are just made a certain way

(and that teacher was talking shit)

I’m nearly 6ft, built like a ‘brick shithouse’ (thanks Dad!) and have massive boobs. I tortured myself for years because no matter what I did I couldn’t look skinny and the only tall women in the media in the 90s were the models.
A few years ago I did a management training course that focused on building teams that allow people to play to their strengths and something clicked for me - my body isn’t meant to be skinny, it’s meant to be strong! Changing from calorie counting and treadmill misery to lifting heavy things and eating to fuel muscle growth has been transformative and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I still think my head looks too small on my body in photos but as I get older I really don’t care much

I’m 5 foot 4 and 9 stone and I have a belly still. Not sure what weight I’d need to be for it to be gone but I feel that 9 stone is my natural weight as even if I do lose a few pounds I seem to jump straight back to 9 stone before long

I’m very curvy so even when I’ve had a low BMI and a 26 inch waist I don’t look skinny due to the FF/G rack. I’m currently about 8kg overweight and look decidedly matronly.

😂Yes, this. They offset eachother don’t they lol

I had an eating disorder in my late teens and early twenties. I was significantly underweight but I still had a tummy pouch and large thighs (in comparison to the rest of me). I never managed to tone up or change my body shape so my tummy was completely flat or my thighs slimmed down even obsessively exercising and literally starving myself. Obviously I was slim/ skinny but I still didn’t have the body shape I wanted; if you have a stocky build and arms which are big in comparison to the rest of you that might not be something you can change because whilst you can lose more weight you will lose weight proportionally and the biggest bits of you will always be the biggest bits of you.

People are built differently so they carry weight differently and have different sized frames so they look different at the same amount of body fat or the same BMI. However, everyone can be slim, everyone can be thin. If you didn't have enough food, you'd lose weight until ultimately you died and on the way you'd be very thin.

I have lost a far bit of weight recently and have dropped four dress sizes. However I have a broad back and am curvy and have accepted that I am always going to be the one who looks large in photos.