AIBU to think not everyone can be skinny?

[renovationqueen]

Just that really. I have lost about a stone and a half in the last couple of years, I've gone from 11 stone to 9 stone 7 but I just don't look slim.

My weight has always fluctuated quite a lot but the past year I've been really actively trying to lose weight. My weight loss has completely plateaued the last couple of months, despite being fairly active (15k steps a day) staying within a 500 calorie deficit nearly every day (bar occassional nights out) and cutting back to almost no alcohol.

I've definitely lost inches and I can fit in clothes that I couldn't before but I just don't look slim. I have a stocky build with big boobs and always had a belly and big arms and I'm starting to wonder if it is even worth it. I was just hoping that after all this effort I might be able to wear a sleeveless top and not feel enormous!

Do I just go back to eating the amount of calories it takes to stay on 'maintenance' and accept I'm never going to be thin? I just can't help feeling bitter that it's sooooo much work constantly thinking about calories and the results aren't what I was hoping for.

So it's just got me wondering AIBU to think that not everyone can look skinny and life just isn't fair or do I just need to be more patient?

Or maybe IABU to even care so much in the first place 😂

(I'm 29 years old and 5ft3 if this is relevent)

Also well done OP - it’s hard to lose weight and you must be pleased with what you achieved!

BMI doesn't take muscles into account either. 2 women wearing exact same size clothes, same measurements if you want, but one is just muscle, the other not toned at all won't have the same BMI, it will be higher for the one very toned.

Im the smallest size Ive ever been in my adult life - still carrying a belly - it won't go and Im not even going to fight it

5ft 2 and hover around 9st 4 - if Im careful. To stay at that I do have to watch what I eat, which I do 80% of the time. Truth is I do like biscuits and crisps and bread and sometimes only a biscuit will do. Only once I start I dont stop at one and a packet will be gone within the day, same as white bread and crisps So I avoid as a rule. I cant imagine having to cut more from my diet just to look slim. Im healthy and fit - that's good enough for me

I’m “skinny”

5ft8 and a size 6/8 I would love to gain some weight but am finding it impossible to do 😞

I'm 5'8 and have been a size 18 even after losing weight and have sort of stayed the same, I am very built and go to the gym but the build is natural, I find it ridiculously hard to lose weight due to my build/if I do I just look more built (which I hate) everyone has taken the mick my whole life for having rugby player shoulders and wide hips 😒 my aunt is a personal trainer and came to the gym with me, she even said due to my build I'm never going to look skinny

You are a healthy weight - that’s brilliant.

A healthy weight range is 107lbs to 140lbs and you are 133lbs. You are in the top quartile of healthy. I would expect most people who looked slim to be in the bottom half - not everyone, but most. It really does depend on your body shape and where you store your fat.

FYI I envy you a little. I’m the same height and working very hard at loosing weight. I’m currently 10st 5. My goal is your 133lbs…

I have another check I’m working to. Your waist should be under half your height - so I’m aiming for 30”. As I get to my 133lbs goal, I may have to carry on (with exercise as well) until my waist is slim enough. Oh well! Onwards and downwards.

I’m 5’6 and 7st11 and I still get people saying I am healthy and slim. Bloody annoys me because I have to be very underweight (around 6st11) to be called skinny! Broad shouldered, wide ribs and an athletic build make me feel huge no matter what.

I'm happy with where I am now, because I'm very fit and toned, but when I dropped weight and got down to 8 stone 4 it came off my face and people thought I was ill. People were STILL surprised when they saw me in a fitted dress though! And people seem to think I'm short, even though I'm above average height for a woman, and it's because my legs are short. My proportions are off and it throws the eye - that's my answer anyway!

I thing everyone (excluding heath issues) can be skinny but it can be a lot of work and an ongoing lifestyle once you get there and you'll need to decide whether that's what you want. For reference I'm 5ft9 and when I am 55 kg I am skinny, currently need to lose 3kg to get there.

I mean arguable they could if they starved themselves. But why would anyone want to be underweight? People should aim to be healthy and strong and neither too skinny nor too big.

People's bones and organs and genes and lifetime habits play a lot of a part. But if you consistently eat way too little anyone could be skinny.

At my slimmest (as an adult) I weighed 10st 3, wore size 10 jeans. I’m 5ft 4. Try as I might (weights and cardio 4x pw, eggs and grapefruit, no booze) I couldn’t get below 10st 3. I’ve got big boobs and at that size I was a total hourglass. I’ve never been slim much less skinny

I think anyone can be 'skinny' - lock any one of us in a room without food and eventually we'll get there. Or transport us back in time 500 years, or have us grow all our own food, or give us a personal chef to prepare perfectly balanced meals for us and yes, I think we would all lose weight.

The question is in the real world can we lose weight while staying mentally and physically healthy.

For example, some people manage to lose weight successfully using intermittent fasting, while for others that strategy might trigger an eating disorder.

Also, depending on your metabolic health, some people need much more extreme measures to lose weight than others.

So I agree that it isn't an even playing field and some people have an easier time if it than others. But YABU saying that it is impossible for some people to lose weight no matter what.

Everyone has a different build. Some people will always look a bit chunky due to their proportions. You're quite short so you may struggle to 'carry' extra weight. I'm tall but heavily built, so even when I'm a healthy weight I never look slim. Reality of life, YANBU

I think I'd describe skinny as underweight and slim as a healthy BMI.

I was skinny and underweight up until 40 despite eating whatever I wanted and doing very little exercise. It wasnt a healthy BMI by definition however my overall health was still good. It is my natural state and I feel quite confident that none of my friends could have become as skinny as me no matter how hard they tried, unless very ill. Skinny isn't realistic for a lot of people.

Purely with age (no real change to lifestyle) I am now in the normal BMI range albeit at the lower end, and would describe myself as slim. I could put another stone on and still be a healthy BMI and look slimmer than other people but they could well be a lot healthier than me in reality and it would be more than what I should be taking into account my frame.

I think everyone has a natural body shape. Some people are short and stocky, some are tall and thin - and to a certain extent you can't change that. If you are broad shouldered and big boned then that's what you are.

I was always pear shaped - flat chested, flat stomach, big hips. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose I'm still going to have wider hipbones and a flat chest. My older sister is busty - when she's lost loads of weight she has had tiny hips - but has still got boobs.

Same

Healthy weight should be the goal.
But, yes - everyone can be skinny.

I’m 14 stone. I take anti psychotics and don’t have to eat much yet put weight on very very easily. Ozempic & Mounjaro don’t mix with my meds well.

OP you are very skinny & lucky compared to me!!

Of course everyone can be skinny. Everyone can be emaciated. Everyone can be fat and everyone can be obese. It’s basic biology and science.

That’s not true. Even at the height of my eating disorder I never was ‘thin’. I was a size 10-12 and looked healthy. The reality was different as I was being tube fed and all my hair was falling out.

I'm 5ft 15" and I weigh 4.5 bags of flour. 😊

Obesity is a different thing to not liking your arms, thighs, little belly etc.

I find it amazing the fixation some people have about their bodies. The majority of us are just doing OK and most have something about them that they don't like - that's fine I think. Life's too short to worry about a bit of flab on certain parts of the body provided the overall weight is within reasonable limits.

can someone explain to me please how this all works -

• Loads of people on here saying they're happy being 12-14+ with their "rugby" frames or being "strong" in build

• Loads of people in the 2020s who have ditched the body positivity terminology and basically leapt into the arms of Mountjaro and Wegovy

So which is it?

If you have enough money or you want the jabs, was the body positivity thing a stopgap until you got the drugs?

what's interesting is how cultural it is. What is considered "slim" or even skinny in some countries is average for another.

It isn't always true. I'm 5'8" and when I was in my 20s I hovered around 8 stones. When I got married I had a 23.5" waist and had to get the wedding dress taken in. Even when pregnant with my first baby, I wore size 12 jeans at 28 weeks pregnant. I could, and did, eat anything and couldn't gain even 100g. My Dr investigated for Marfan's, etc.

Now that I'm in my 40s I hover around 10.5 stones and would need to restrict my intake to lose weight. I think it's just a metabolism change.

5ft 2 and at just under 7 stone i still looked stumpy, might have had a flat tummy but my backside/hips were wide. I was meant to be round so i just have to live with what i have.