AIBU to think not everyone can be skinny?

[renovationqueen]

Just that really. I have lost about a stone and a half in the last couple of years, I've gone from 11 stone to 9 stone 7 but I just don't look slim.

My weight has always fluctuated quite a lot but the past year I've been really actively trying to lose weight. My weight loss has completely plateaued the last couple of months, despite being fairly active (15k steps a day) staying within a 500 calorie deficit nearly every day (bar occassional nights out) and cutting back to almost no alcohol.

I've definitely lost inches and I can fit in clothes that I couldn't before but I just don't look slim. I have a stocky build with big boobs and always had a belly and big arms and I'm starting to wonder if it is even worth it. I was just hoping that after all this effort I might be able to wear a sleeveless top and not feel enormous!

Do I just go back to eating the amount of calories it takes to stay on 'maintenance' and accept I'm never going to be thin? I just can't help feeling bitter that it's sooooo much work constantly thinking about calories and the results aren't what I was hoping for.

So it's just got me wondering AIBU to think that not everyone can look skinny and life just isn't fair or do I just need to be more patient?

Or maybe IABU to even care so much in the first place 😂

(I'm 29 years old and 5ft3 if this is relevent)

What do people mean by skinny anyway as I thought being skinny was not a good look? Surely slim/thin or medium build is better.

I think you’re right. DH could lose all of his body fat and you wouldn’t call him slim or skinny. His literal bone structure and build is the shape of a barrel and he’s quite short.

YANBU.

There's a difference between being skinny and being healthy, which is why there is a range between 19 and 25 BMI that are regarded as healthy for adults.

I'm 5'8" and 61yo. I naturally hover between BMI 22 & 23, but I also run and swim and cycle. I was never naturally curvy. If I add weight I add it to my stomach, and then I feel uncomfortable.

Others are naturally curvy and feel well. I guess we just have different genes and different natural builds.

Why is "skinny not a good look" ... ?

See this is what I find so fascinating about Mumsnet.

You have all the people who say "my DH loves curves" and the usual eye roll stuff.

You then also have the "slim is a size 10, but you don't want to get any smaller" kind of thing.

And yet there are folk like in my family, where we are naturally size 8 or because we're long-limbed, tall and we have a runner's build.

Are we ugly? Is the modern standard shifting to being 10-12 because it's more achievable?

I won't cite my DH on this because I think male validation is weird in this topic, but I never struggled to meet people for being that size, and I think I look good in clothing?!

Yes they can be, just some people have to work a lot harder at it than others.

Everyone was skinny in the concentration camps so I think if people don’t eat they can all become skinny.

I said that from the point of view that everyone I know who is/was skinny hating it. I was skinny and hated it. Constant put downs for my weight, same as others had to deal with. Obviously there have been brief periods where someone famous who was skinny started a trend like Kate Moss or Twiggy but that's more of a fashion thing surely.

Why is "skinny not a good look" ... ?

depends who it is. Kate Middleton can be described as skinny, she has an impossibly small waist and she's tall. She 's always described in the most flattering terms on MN.

Victoria Beckham, who is not much bigger, is "too skinny" 🙄

It's about the individuals - also it's the same as vanity sizing. People feel better about themselves if the average 14-16 in the uk is considered as the most attractive, and size 6-8 "too skinny".

If the goal was size 8, they would be too far away from it to feel good.

OK so build wise I happen to be more Middleton, but actually I'm annoyed I'm even pointing that out -

BECAUSE
What is wrong with VB being the weight she is, if that's her choice?

Yes osteoporosis etc, but she herself knows the tide has swung in the last 10 years with the advent of the Kardashians, the whole "curves" positive stuff

So maybe, just maybe, she chooses to be that way and that's also ok?

The fact skinny shaming is even a thing is something I find as abhorrent as the fat shaming thing.

But that sort of skinny could not possibly be regarded as healthy.

A healthy person has plenty of energy, strong bones, nails, teeth and hair. They have an effective immune system and are generally well. A diet that achieves all of that and keeps you within BMI 19-25 (when not an ultra-athlete) so that there is no undue strain on heart or joints is what most people should aim for.

The distribution of flesh over the body will be down to genes (bust, hips etc), stage of life and which types of frequent exercise. We aren't all the same, we all have different genetic heritage.

Yes skinny shaming is just as bad but because so many people are overweight or want to lose weight they dont understand why.

Hopefully VB is happy with her build and doesnt pay attention to the rags or trolls. She is probably naturally very thin anyway and it doesnt take much for her to keep the weight off.

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but have a look at Kibbe body types. I'm 5ft 5 and size 8 but look taller and therefore thinner. It's got something to do with the size of your head and the length of your arms?!

I've lost 17 pounds so far on my weight loss this year and though I've got a ways to go, I've been training and eating lots of protein so I do cut a good figure in jeans and t shirt because my figure has changed a lot. I was skinny years ago and it really didn't suit me so I'm very happy with a more muscular body.

Nobody is saying emaciated is healthy. That wasn’t the question posed.

Anyone saying that ‘not everyone can be skinny’ is delusional. Like I said earlier it is basic biology and science. Everyone can be skinny if they restrict their calorie intake. Someone earlier mentioned concentration camps, I’ll add gulags, and famine regions/periods.

This study The Minnesota Starvation Study basically starved 36 average men to study the effects. Super fascinating but may be difficult for some to read about.

At the end of the day if the OP is asking is achieving skinny likely for everyone, then the answer is no, for a lot of reasons already mentioned. But it is possible.

nothing wrong, that was my point, sorry if that wasn't' clear.

2 skinny women, but because of the title, one is admired, the other one criticised. One is bloomy wonderful for getting her figure back after her children, the other one mocked for "eating salads"

Of course skinny shaming is a thing, apparently you can't be skinny without "starving yourself". I disagree!

my daughter is the same height as me but has a 5 inch longer leg so of course there are different body types.

However have a look at something like mybodygallery.com 1000s of real womens bodies and photos which can be filtered by age height and weight. Helps remove any body dysmorphia

Willpower simple.