Being called thick?

[ClemmyPennie]

Aibu to not speak to this man again?

Hes my ex and we are very low distance (like 9 hour flight). We started talking again and the plan was to go out and see him next month. We call every day.

I called yesterday and he didn’t pick up. He then said he felt too shit to talk, I asked if he wanted to talk just about why he’s feeling that and just for me to listen. His response was - you’re fucking thick.

Yes I shouldn’t have asked to talk again, but I just wanted to offer because I care about him. I think I just need to end whatever this is or am I being too sensitive?

JFC, you obviously need to cut contact with anyone who speaks to you so abusively OP! Sounds like you urgently need to work on your self esteem — and do not get into another relationship before you’ve done so.

Voted YABU because you’re still putting up with him.

He’s a 9 hour flight away! He does not exist in your life anymore. Stop letting him abuse you over the phone.

Why are you talking to your ex every day, quite apart from him being aggressively rude?

Sounds like there is a good reason he is an ex. I'd keep it that way

Ditch

He's your ex for a reason. That reason hasn't changed or gone away, has it... Relationships are supposed to be positive and make our lives better, and this one doesn't fit. You might still care about him, he doesn't care that much about you and doesn't respect you.

Respect yourself and move on from this, it's not going to do you any good

Why are you in daily contact with an ex?

He’s just not that into you. He’s also a bastard.

Because we started talking about and making plans for the future?

What, him calling you thick as mince and giving you silent treatment when he’s had a bad day? What sort of plan for the future is that?

Well it isn’t? Thats why I just responded with a it’s not ok to talk to me like that and didn’t (and won’t) engage any further.

Fucking hell OP you need to ditch this one. Leaving aside the fact you appear to be on different continents he is also an abusive twat. How dare he speak to you like that?

A boy I was seeing at uni used to regularly call me stupid/unintelligent and I still occasionally seethe about it 2 decades later.

Tell this bloke to fuck off then block him.

@ClemmyPennie I can’t believe you even posted this as poll - like obviously it’s not okay - surely as a grown woman yiu don’t need MN to confirm that?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I really hope you won’t, OP. It’s depressing how many women get sucked back into abusive situations like this because they believe that’s all they’re worth.

Great. Make sure you’ve blocked his number and any fb account etc.

He’s an ex for a reason. Stop trying to make this work when it clearly won’t.

Work on yourself and your self esteem so that the mere thought of putting up with a person treating you like this is an immediate no.

and block him, and delete all trace of his social media.

You are not even together and you are getting on each other's nerves, what could possibly be the point of that?

If i said to anyone do you want to talk about why you feel like that and they said you are fucking thick id know right then that they had no interest in me and im just a stand in for when no one else is about.
Its a way of saying get the hint i dont want to talk to you.
Id ditch him and block him hes an ex for a reason.

You need to work on your self esteem.
Obviously YANBU.
Thankfully he's 9hours away and you never need to see or gear from him again.
Nobody should be spoken to like that.
On reflection can't you see that??

You are in the extremely fortunate position of being half a day's flight and a continent away from this particular ex, not many people can say that. Therefore enjoy how easy it will be to block him and move on with your life. You don't have a future with him op, at least not a happy one.

Sounds like a great catch this one OP!

This. Every word.
Please find someone to talk to in RL about your self esteem

The only advice is Bin, Block and Move on.. but I appreciate that's often easier said that done. Make a list of nice things you'd like to do, places to visit etc.. and start ticking off the list. Focus on your life and not on a completely unviable relationship with someone who is just nasty to you.

And now that you know he thinks you’re stupid, have your plans changed?

I'm surprised that you had to ask MN for answers to this. He is your ex and he should stay that way. It's not often that exes get back together and it works out.

Block the bustard and find someone nearer and sexier xx