Dh going to uni aged 58 - worried about money!

[Meowsmol]

Dh had to stop working 3 years ago due to a disability, FND. He was high up in IT but can't do it as his hands don't work properly anymore.
He now wants to do a psychology degree looking at neurodiversity. he's thinking about some sort of business/ coaching thing.
He called me today to tell me he's been accepted onto the course and they'll help him with student finance.
We have 2 children 1 in last year of college in sept so looking at 2026 uni. She wants to do forensics and biomedical science. So will need a fee loan and maintenance loan.
Ds is starting college in September for a level.
I'm the only one working. Dh gets pip. But I can't see how we can make this happen.
We rent and my dm has recently been diagnosed with dementia and df has mobility issues.
My brain is broken.

I'm not really seeing how a degree in psychology leads to a job career coaching.....he maybe needs to do more research into the jobs market he wants to go into. Isn't there some kind of business set up thing you can claim from DWP also, maybe worth looking into. And your parents could claim attendants allowance I think it's called. Worth talking to CAB about what's available and eligibility requirements.

I think people here are being incredibly Ableist. I would be proud of my partner finding a new interest, rather than focusing on the disability as an excuse for not trying new things. You're family will sort things out as your children are almost adults and also need to think about the whole family and not just their own needs

Did nobody advise your DH to apply for ESA? Contributions based doesn't take your partners income into account, only your own contributions.

I think you have to have made conts in the last 2 years, but is worth looking into (it would be new style esa now) as if he can't work then he could be entitled to an income replacement benefit (which PIP isn't)

What a waste of money OP, I feel sorry for you. If he’s 58 by the time he finished his degree he’ll be 61 and having a degree doesn’t make you a therapist/psychologist/life coach, there is more training and courses after that. Far too late in life for a career change that costs so much money and there will be no return.

If it was free then perhaps and it was to challenge himself and like a hobby in his spare time, fair enough, but to think it’s going to be financially viable and he’s going to start a new business and earn enough for it work is ridiculous

You tell him he cant afford it.
You tell him you can’t & won’t be paying for it.
Your children need that financial support, & you can barely afford that.
Where does he suppose the money will come from?
At his age, this hair brained scheme is bound to collapse, due to work & stress involved, & if he succeeds to the end he will be at retirement age.
My response would be.

“Nice project son, but not on my payroll”

@Mix56 There’s this thing called Student Finance. Been going decades.

If it was free

It is free, he’ll never repay the student loans.

He can't afford to go to university to fulfil his ambition. He is time poor and financially poor, he needs to find a job that he can manage, if he has the energy for university, he can find a job to help finances in the home.

I am 56, in the final year of a PhD. All funded. Am expecting to be able to go into teaching (16+/adult ed) next year. Plenty of support for people with disabilities in teaching, plenty of technology to support them in the practical day to day functioning of their jobs. My DS has an economics teacher who is 70 and has no interest in retiring just yet… so no ageism here either. Both my children attend the same FE college, both have ASD and ADHD and the support and the engagement of a diverse range of staff has been excellent.

OP’s DH could easily complete his degree and then do QTS/16+teaching qualification whilst working at a FE college - full or part time - teaching psychology and related subjects, supporting young adults (and older ones if the college does Access courses) with ASD and ADHD, ie mentoring and coaching within a state education provision. It’s what I hope to be doing myself.

He is 58, NOT 88. He will likely live another 30 years - why are people so keen to write a person off just because he is 58? And why the issue over his getting student loans? He worked and paid taxes until he was 55 - surely he’s entitled something back, especially if it gets him back into work?

I think, at the age of 58, a degree is a luxury rather than a right. And your daughter has to take priority. He's "had his turn" so to speak. And although it's not his fault he got ill, there has to be other things he can do.
Has he every expressed any interest in psychology or coaching before? He'd be better off doing an evening course GCSE or A-Level first, at the cost of a few hundred, before diving into a many thousands of pounds course in a subject he really knows very little about.

If you really can't see a way to afford it, then tough shit really.

@pookie999

To be fair, I think similar advice would be given to a non- disabled person deciding to pursue this degree at 58, with no previous experience in counselling or this field, when the finances are tight in the family.

As you said, the family need to consider ‘the whole family’ and you could argue that the dh is being selfish in wanting to do the degree.

The family finances would improve a lot if he does the degree. Plus, the daughter can work, like millions of other students do and have done in the past.

You don't need to support anyone other than you - anyone studying/planning to study needs to figure out how they'll support themselves. 😬

Then that’s just like purposely robbing the tax payer then, because whilst it’s free for him, someone has to pay back the £50k or so….

It’ll get written off eventually, paid for by the extortionate rate of interest the private providers of student finance charge. It won’t cost the taxpayer a penny.

Well it will cost the tax payer money, precisely because it’s written off. It’s the government that oversee the student finance. Yes there’s interest added but that’s neither here nor there in the grand scheme of £50k.

What do you think would happen if everyone got a minimum wage job and never paid the student debt off? There would be no more finance available and only the rich could afford to go, given most people don’t have a spare £50k kicking about…..

We’re talking about this person, not millions of people, so I think you’re being unnecessarily dramatic. Also, it’s perfectly legal to take out student loans, so there’s no problem.

Yes there’s interest added but that’s neither here nor there in the grand scheme of £50k.

The lenders set a rate of interest that mitigates the amount they end up writing off. It’s a business.

Well many graduates don't end up paying back loans e.g. arts graduates does that mean they should not be eligible either?

So what? The other poster was saying it’s not on the tax payer and of it is.

It still a loss to the tax payer after all

Come on, my post is in the context of a poster saying it doesn’t matter they won’t have to pay it back. They are right, but in the context of the response it’s the tax payer that ultimately funds it. If people are happy with that then cool…. Let’s just give out £50k interest free loans to everyone

To add most graduates don’t take out the loans without the intention of paying them back. I’m sure the majority of them would want a better paid job

To add most graduates don’t take out the loans without the intention of paying them back

Now you’re being downright silly.

Do explain?

Absolutely ridiculous. If he can do a degree he should be working and contributing.

Going to uni when you have a family is an absolute luxury. My mum started a uni degree when she was 68, different circs as I was an adult, mortgage paid off, no financial risks etc. As it happened she didn’t finish it because she had other commitments. But she did it because she was interested in the subject not because she expected to make a career out of it.