Dh going to uni aged 58 - worried about money!

[Meowsmol]

Dh had to stop working 3 years ago due to a disability, FND. He was high up in IT but can't do it as his hands don't work properly anymore.
He now wants to do a psychology degree looking at neurodiversity. he's thinking about some sort of business/ coaching thing.
He called me today to tell me he's been accepted onto the course and they'll help him with student finance.
We have 2 children 1 in last year of college in sept so looking at 2026 uni. She wants to do forensics and biomedical science. So will need a fee loan and maintenance loan.
Ds is starting college in September for a level.
I'm the only one working. Dh gets pip. But I can't see how we can make this happen.
We rent and my dm has recently been diagnosed with dementia and df has mobility issues.
My brain is broken.

Sure but the point remains. He can work in the sector he says he wants to and is the point of the degree, alongside the degree or modules, or without.

It would have plugged the hole in his CV. He is wasting his time going to University. I'm 58 next birthday. My peer group is 52-62, we are getting jobs, just not full time and barely on a living wage. What's available does vary, where we are there isn't work for the under 20s, even Macdonalds and KFC etc are staffed by older people. We are lucky that there's a few B&Qs, M&S, Sainsbury's etc, who like older workers.

What should he do put his feet up and wait to die? There is 75 year olds running big businesses and managing them. Their children won't be coming back home once they go that's it. They will probably meet the love of their life and live with them. After living independently why would want to go home to mummy and daddy.

The op said he wants to run a business. If that's all that's available on the job market then I don't blame him for going back to studying. If he's serious then why not it will work out in the long term.

The op said he's only done diplomas in IT he hasn't got a degree.

There’s nothing in the job market. I know of two people, both with degrees, who have been job hunting assiduously for months. Nothing, one of them is prepared to do anything and has been turned down for shelf stacking.

Honestly I can't see a bachelor's degree in psychology opening up a career. I know this because my son did one and is now doing a diploma in something different which might actually lead to a job.

He's been unemployed because he couldn't work because of disability. Meanwhile the OP has financially supported the whole family and done the bulk of housework. As he ages, his disability will get worse. He isn't going to be running a successful business in three years time, a few years off retirement. He needs to pull his weight at home, instead.

He already does pull his weight at home.

@OrderofthephoenixparodyIm looking at the immediate situation not the bigger picture
He has already been accepted for a place having not worked for 6 months nor made any effort to take any job.
Why should OP shoulder the burden alone?
Quite simply, her DH needs to get his head out of the clouds
Im not saying he couldn't run a business at 80, just that he can't afford to study

Can you explain the "vanity project" part? I'm a coach and we listen and talk - we use our brains, our ears and our mouths. A lot of us sit at home doing this, so it is a great choice for people who are losing dexterity and mobility. There is an investment - I had to do an MSc myself quite a few years ago when we weren't all that well off, so I know about this investment - but then the pay is excellent. So is it really a vanity project, or is he looking to the future, to becoming useful again? The way it looks from your own description, he can't do anything at the moment, which must be horrendous for him. Are you saying this is a "vanity project" because you think he is losing his speech and will never be able to capitalise on the degree, or is it because you are a here and now person who can't see past today - no criticism implied - and he's much more future-focused?

As to the person who asked how you can do a degree without functioning hands, they are quite a few years behind the tech. If you can think and speak, you can do a degree. That has been the case for quite some years.

um, student finance means student LOANS. If you are married then that is shared responsibility. You are liable.

what about he puts his energy into selling stuff on eBay to generate some income if he is able. A degree course can be tough going so I’m surprised he is considering it

I can't believe how selfish he is being wrt to family funding. He can't just go off and do something without considering everyone else's needs.

He is obviously expecting you to fund his retirement too.

Exactly. So he will qualify for finance

No that's not how student loans in the UK work

he can't afford to study

He can. His student loan will make the family better off. There’s literally no down side.

Your kids's education and the family finances in general should take priority.

It is also possible for him to simply start setting himself up as a neurodiversty coach or trainer as coaching does not require formal qualifications.

I would also advise your kids to get part-time/summer jobs to help fund their studies.

You sound exhausted and stressed out and all that is going to happen if you keep being expected to prop up everyone is that you are going to burn out...

No it doesn’t. The loan is with the student.

I hate to say it but I am starting to agree with you. If OP's DH can't find a job then will bring in income that probably won't need paying off.

Ageism is rife

What is your DH doing for money at the moment?

You make a good point. He could look at opening a ltd company and securing a business loan on the company and investing in a franchise. Rather than do a 3 year degree he could look at something he can buy into now. I hope the op sees this post.

No degree is funded unless there is a scholarship or a bursary- it's funded with a loan-which you have to pay back-being 58 will mean different rules for the payment of the loan. You are sounding now as if you support DH decision to take a hobby degree when you also have 2 daughters who will want to take a degree-all funded by your job , because your DH has no pension, despite being medically retired, I'm sorry but with or without an autistic connection that is an unrealistic plan.

No, you don’t have to pay it back and the same rules apply for a 58 year old as they do for someone much younger. You’re obviously unfamiliar with how student finance works in England.

I'm very surprised- it means functionally no one over 45 will ever have to pay any of their student loan back, which doesn't really sound as if it would be something the treasury would be happy with. Even with loans you don't have to pay back- a degree when you are 58 is mostly for your own amusement, very few companies have a positive attitude to employing 61 year olds (age when he finishes his degree) and if you are setting up your own business a degree is unnecessary- a counselling qualification would be more appropriate. Supporting 3 students and a household on one income is unlikely to be viable unless you have a very good job and boundless energy, apart from university fees you will have to cover all household expenses and any extra expenses all 3 students incur plus you will be working full time and running a household.