Dh going to uni aged 58 - worried about money!

[Meowsmol]

Dh had to stop working 3 years ago due to a disability, FND. He was high up in IT but can't do it as his hands don't work properly anymore.
He now wants to do a psychology degree looking at neurodiversity. he's thinking about some sort of business/ coaching thing.
He called me today to tell me he's been accepted onto the course and they'll help him with student finance.
We have 2 children 1 in last year of college in sept so looking at 2026 uni. She wants to do forensics and biomedical science. So will need a fee loan and maintenance loan.
Ds is starting college in September for a level.
I'm the only one working. Dh gets pip. But I can't see how we can make this happen.
We rent and my dm has recently been diagnosed with dementia and df has mobility issues.
My brain is broken.

so he can:
clean
walk the dogs
do a degree involving a lot of computer work, maths and statistics, and writing

he cannot:
do any sort of paid work whatsoever

isnt he lucky we have the benefit system we do. No saving into a pension ever, disability benefits, free student finance he will never pay back.

You seem to be carrying all the mental load regarding your family's future.
You and DH need to sit down and discuss the realities of the situation and how he plans to contribute to the family coffers.

I’d call his bluff and tell him you need to go part time due to looking after your parents, and tell him today he has to find a part time job. If he can clean, cook, walk the dogs then he can easily get a job. His hands must be capable if he can do those things he’s picking and choosing what he can and can’t do and I’m sorry but it sounds like he’s using the FND as a excuse.

The degree won't help him get paid work and if he can't work in IT I'd be surprised if he can do a degree.

Having said that, he will probably be entitled to student finance for his course fees and also at least the minimum loan for his living costs. He may even get extra for being disabled. At his age he will never pay these loans back, so the maintenance loan will be additional income to your household. As he isn't working anyway, there is no loss of his wages. Just check that it doesn't affect his PIP.

He’s not going to get one at 58, with a disability and three years out of work. Who’s going to employ him? The job market’s shit at the moment, there are people in their 30s with recent work experience who can’t get jobs.

I don't agree with him doing a degree. However people are missing that he can't pick and choose when his hands work, or he has a seizure, which makes set-hours employment, difficult. He can choose when he walks the dog, cleans and can pace himself.
OP, as said, go through the finances and ask what practical backup he can give, on top of the degree, because you can't carry everything. I'm a carer to two people in my family, one is my DP and I'm my DD's childcare, because I'm seemingly well, they take for granted that I can just keep going. But I'm really feeling my age, now I'm heading to 58. You'll be back to holidays in the most expensive part of the year, medical appointments will be restricted. It's a ludicrous plan.

It depends on were you live. If he has the personality to coach, he could do part time customer service, or similar. If he is capable of attending University every day, he should be volunteering, as a stepping stone. University work would be a lot more than part time reception for the NHS etc.

Good for him for trying to do something positive but as others have said degree seems unrealistic for all sorts of reasons. Put your daughter first, encourage her to get part time work for experience and boost her cv, look into bursaries etc. I agree DH should focus on setting up a self employed consultancy of some sort using his current qualifications. Take care of yourself.

It doesn’t depend where you live. The job market’s depressed nationally. If he’s going to do a degree he needs to crack on now because he won’t qualify for student finance in two years time when he turns 60. Why would he volunteer? How would that help?

You need to sit down with him and look at the finances.

He will be eligible for a loan if he does not have a degree already, if he does then he can get funding for part time study.

Council tax will reduce as you will be classed as a single person.

There are charitable trusts that have grants for people retraining, it is hard work applying but I got money from several while I was at uni.

If he hasn't worked for 3 years this won't make any difference and if he gets a maintenance loan might increase his income?
Dd can get loans as well
If she only gets minimum loans then you are earning over x amount .
You are much younger right? So being the employee and wage earner longer is a given?
If his course keeps him engaged and busy is a good thing

Would he not be better in setting up something as a VA? With his I.T experience he could easily be niche depending on what area he was working in. He could pick up and drop work as and when he is struggling. Wouldn't necessarily need to use his hands as much depending on what he took on. He then could develop the coaching side alongside it whilst he has an income coming in to fund it. Plus pick up ADHD qualifications and offer the coaching that way.

DH could access disabled students’ allowance which would come with talk-type software and training on how to use it. An online degree might be a better option, depending on how often he has seizures.

FFS. Im sorry for him. But no.

Access to work will provide that for the workplace too

If you’ve got a workplace. What part of he’s unemployable are you failing to comprehend?

Remember that the government is on a mission to get disabled people off PIP and into employment. It’s currently possible to get both PIP and a maintenance loan. Once he has a job offer he can receive support through Access to Work.

How about a dog walking business?

1 in 6 adults are economically inactive, PIP is being cut back, and I imagine OP’s DH would rather be doing graduate work than the alternatives available. I know people with FND who are employed with support from Access to Work. It might be worth remembering that any of us could acquire a seizure disorder before writing someone off as “unemployable”.

If DD is only entitled to minimum loan (which sounds likely if you are looking at £5k top up), then DH will only get minimum (unless he can prove he is so disabled that he can get the special top up). DSA dies not provide money, just equipment, mentors etc.
Council tax reduction will only last until eldest child turns 18. CT exemption can only be claimed in one location so if DD student exemption is used at home she would have to pay CT at her student accommodation.

I work in HE and most people doing degrees are finishing the academic year around now, nowhere near school holiday season.

I meant unemployable in the sense of finding an employer willing to give him a job. IT moves fast so he’s lost his currency in that field. There are younger people with recent experience who will be his competition for jobs - who will a prospective employer go for?

He’s too old to get a job in that field imo. The training takes years

Possibly a recent graduate with life experience? Teaching has moved swiftly on since I graduated 30 years ago, but the government seem keen on getting older teachers back into schools.

I get PIP despite working from home, but I do use different equipment to help my arthritic hands. So as long as he is using different equipment/and or given reasonable adjustments this shouldn't be an issue. Its how the conditition affects them on a daily care/mobility basis, not whether they can work or study.