DD unwell, had to take a day off, works reaction..

[Raincloud997]

I am a single parent and have limited childcare. My DD is in reception and was unwell today so couldn't go back in to school today after the half term. I had to ring up. My manager sounded very annoyed on the phone and said they have other staff off too, said she is struggling for cover and that I really must try and make it in tomorrow and that someone else will have to look after my DD. She also sighed before putting down the phone. I don't have a lot of time off at all, this is the first time its happened and my contract states they allow for emergency parental leave but her reaction has got me worried and I don't think I have childcare for tomorrow if she is no better by morning. What would ou do?

No responsible babysitter will randomly look after a sick child. This could result in the babysitter becoming ill and being unable to do her job, which could affect the care of her regular clients

It's clearly outside some people's experience that she may have noone to babysit, however many days it takes.

Which is great until it changes. I had a network of paid childcare, friends who could step in. Until Covid when my two sets of paid childcare retired, there was no availability in my area for a good two years post civid, my DD with complex needs reached 12 and no one would care for her and my friends had family pressures of their own.

It’s very difficult to build a new network when your kids are older but not old enough or able enough to be left alone.

Having a look up on local babysitter organisations for starters.

But would those people just sit around and wait in case OP’s child gets sick?
Surely they’d more likely to be engaged elsewhere at such short notice.
So it would have to be some random babysitter from an agency (if at all).

This isn’t about Covid times. Have a look locally and these child carers exist.

I wouldn't take it personally OP. She's probably just stressed at having to find cover for the day (on top of other people being off as well - I wouldn't envy her position on that day!) and she didn't hide it well over the phone. Don't do or say anything as you've done nothing wrong.

And if they don’t? Single parent, no family nearby?
And how would you know whether it’s a runny nose or something worse?

I’ve just googled ‘local babysitters’ and there are none here so again what is someone supposed to do? There is not some huge list of people sitting waiting by the phone to drop everything on one days notice and spend the day cleaning up some random child’s vomit.

Absolutely agree that it’s a nonsensical viewpoint.

However - it’s not the employer’s problem. It’s a problem the employer will want you to solve, basically.

Is Mars nice this time of year?

You speak about yourself in your first question. I’ve not bothered to read the rest of your drivel.

A good babysitter will have regular clients to look after. If a babysitter is suddenly available to care for a random sick child, it’s a red flag and may not be safe to leave your child with this person

I had an lady - a neighbour who used to babysit for me when mine weee small and would sit with a sick child for me if I had to to work. I paid her well and the kids were fond of her . You need a network, barring one day emergency leave a sick child is not your employers problem

Tell me! Another women should stay at home poster…

Do you leave your 4 year old old with a stranger when they are ill?

Exactly but many here think that single parents don’t need such a network and/or it doesn’t exist.

Did you?

To be honest, peoples opinions on this about getting a babysitter etc don’t really matter. What matters is the law. Emergency parental leave is for just that - unexpected emergencies. You’re entitled to it for a reasonable amount of time which isn’t set in law as a specific amount of time, but 1 or 2 days most employers would considerable to be reasonable, sometimes longer if something serious has happened (which it doesn’t sound like it has), but after that your employer is within their rights to expect you to get back to work or you will need to take unpaid leave/annual leave to cover your absence.

You need to use the time you have today to find alternative childcare arrangements for your child, ie family/friends/external childcare etc as you have a commitment to work and if you can’t find that cover you need to let your employer know asap. It’s not nice, I’m a mum too so I know how challenging it is when they are ill and you need to juggle both, but unfortunately that’s life.

That being said, it’s not your problem other people are also off sick and that should have been kept quiet. I would imagine after receiving several calls this morning from several members of staff your manager just let her emotions out really without thinking and sighed a bit prematurely whilst hanging up.

I sympathise with Op's position and think she should hold firm for PL but I don't think you can expect s sitter you've never met before to care for your sick child.

Well its you that's living on another planet. I can wfh now, but would have stopped off, as would dp. I also had my parents/in laws and my nan. So I have a network. I know people that don't and would never in a million years call a random person to babysit their young, sick child.

I have always said that my children come first. Luckily, I have a great manager but OP, it is not your fault that there are others off sick and that your work can't cover it. Look after your daughter and don't feel guilty.

Take her in with you at work and look after her there, make her lie on the floor if needed to rest and let everyone at work know your boss forced you to come it so you didn’t have a choice and make your boss feel guilty. Makes me mad the lack of understanding from employers for parents. So greedy and selfish they are.

Take a deep dive into local childcare resources. You’ll need to contact child carers and babysitters. Unless you live remotely there should be local help available. Ask at work what others have for paid childcare. It’s difficult to build a support network as it invokes time and planning but it’s definitely achievable.