DD unwell, had to take a day off, works reaction..

[Raincloud997]

I am a single parent and have limited childcare. My DD is in reception and was unwell today so couldn't go back in to school today after the half term. I had to ring up. My manager sounded very annoyed on the phone and said they have other staff off too, said she is struggling for cover and that I really must try and make it in tomorrow and that someone else will have to look after my DD. She also sighed before putting down the phone. I don't have a lot of time off at all, this is the first time its happened and my contract states they allow for emergency parental leave but her reaction has got me worried and I don't think I have childcare for tomorrow if she is no better by morning. What would ou do?

That belittles all working parents. Is that the way you think it functions. Time to have a rethink.

@ButterCrackers Please, do yourself and everyone on this thread a favour and get a grip! It's not the end of the world when a child is ill and a parent is looking after them. Why does it bother you so much. it's beyond bizarre!!!

No, it really doesn't. I'm married. If DD is sick, I take a day off, or DH takes a day off. My manager says, "I'm sorry to hear that, hope she feels better soon!" and that's the end of it, because I work for a reasonable employer.

If you would leave your sick and possibly contagious child with a stranger rather than take a day off, then it's you that needs to rethink your parenting.

You tell me, you made the suggestion.

How do they know they can trust them?
Daycare in a professional setting is not really comparable with an ad hoc babysitter for a sick child, it has staff supervision and safety protocols in place. Plus, the kids have a settling-in period when they start, so they know the staff.

You're just in la la land

So if you’re taking off a couple of days here and there for your sick child (totally reasonable) - what’s the tipping point when it becomes unreasonable? Or is unlimited time off reasonable?

I am still a bit shocked.that some parents evidently think it's entirely reasonable to have no back-up plan if your child is sick apart from taking time off work
Is personal responsibility not a thing now?

The manager was having a shit morning. They may well get it in the neck themselves if they can't find cover. Hence the behaviour.

Your child is sick. You can't leave her alone, send her to school anyway, or bring her to work.

It's unreasonable to expect a babysitter to look after a sick child - is she infectious? Will she infect them? Their kids? What if she gets rapidly worse? Are they trained for medical emergencies?

Is her father not in the picture?

Check up on your company's policy re family emergencies like this. Quote procedure and policy when you apply for family leave.

Preferable to leaving them with these strangers just waiting for your call.

So no then. Because if you have to leave them with strangers, you clearly have made no effort to pre empt this glaringly-obvious scenario

Me? Nah I can wfh, dp, my parents dps parents, my nan etc. And they are old enough now stop on their own. As I've already said. But if I didn't have that? No I wouldn't be calling an unknown babysitter. Neither would the single mums I know.

Taking time off is the back-up plan. Because you are their parent.

No childcare setting will take a sick child, and babysitters shouldn't either, because they are then spreading illness to other children. Personal responsibility means looking after your own sick child.

Employers are legally obliged to accommodate emergency childcare requirements.

Exactly. Posters here think it ok to say sorry kid has a runny nose so I’m home for three days, now it’s chicken pox so that’ll be two weeks, dodgy tummy so that’s two days. Where do these people work?

Really? Talking about yourself for sure there. How odd that you think parents have no responsibility or is this how you operate?

Yep. That's exactly what people are saying. Well done you for picking that up from the pages and pages of responses.

Hmm. I don't think I am somehow.

Parents do have responsibility. Which is why they are allowed time off with sick kids.

Where are you getting that from?

If your child has a runny nose, you send them to school or nursery.
Many people vaccinate against chicken pox but it's extremely rare for a child to be off for 2 weeks with chicken pox. It's 1 week max and it is usually once in 18 years.
I wouldn't want a colleague coming in when their child has a dodgy tummy, they could well be carrying the same germs.

My daughter has had 2 sick days this academic year. If, as an employer, you cannot accommodate someone needing 2 days a year off, you are grossly incompetent.

Yes - legal rights but posters here think it’s an endless limit of days because they don’t have childcare because it’s impossible to find professional paid child carers they personally know. I wonder where these people work? Perhaps it explains the slack attitude to work because of the benefit fall back?

Exactly. I mean, our childminder is an absolute diamond who goes above and beyond but if dd was, say, having D&V there's no way she'd have her at hers. Besides which, when a child is ill they invariably need their own comfortable surroundings and loved ones. Occasional emergency time off for dependents is absolutely to be expected. As a former manager, it's shit when there's no resilience in a team, but the last thing you do is pass your worries and frustrations onto the people who have an emergency to deal with.

I would though be secretly pissed off if it was always the married women in my team always taking the time off (it shouldn't be the default for women to organise all the childcare plan Bs).

I agree. But what about if it’s 25 days?

Where are you getting this? Op wants 2 days. Where are the posters wanting endless time off for sick kids?!

That is obviously special circumstances isn't it. If it was 25 days that dc is really ill. So I wouldnt imagine the parent would be working at all. Ffs. That is what parental leave or holidays etc is for. If an employer cannot allow for their staff to be off when their child is ill enough to need it for 25 days then they need to find another job

It is a nightmare to juggle sick kids and work.

Almost all my kids absences from nursery/school were for D and V bugs. Let's imagine I had no problem using someone I had never met - still no professional childcare is likely to take a child with a tummy bug except possibly some sort of astronomically expensive emergency nanny service which will be way out of most people's budget and likely only available in big cities. Even if there were local relatives/friends/neighbours it is not fair to ask them to look after a child with a D and V bug for 8+ hours at short notice.

I wish these challenges were recognized more rather than just saying 'get a babysitter'- I really don't know what the solution is though because I actually also agree that it isn't the employer's role to just cope with it unlimited absences for childcare issues.

But it just isn't possible to never have child related time off from an in person job with normal salary as a sole parent.

Not to mention many (most?) sole parents didn't actually plan to be parenting alone.