DD unwell, had to take a day off, works reaction..

[Raincloud997]

I am a single parent and have limited childcare. My DD is in reception and was unwell today so couldn't go back in to school today after the half term. I had to ring up. My manager sounded very annoyed on the phone and said they have other staff off too, said she is struggling for cover and that I really must try and make it in tomorrow and that someone else will have to look after my DD. She also sighed before putting down the phone. I don't have a lot of time off at all, this is the first time its happened and my contract states they allow for emergency parental leave but her reaction has got me worried and I don't think I have childcare for tomorrow if she is no better by morning. What would ou do?

Organise childcare possibilities in advance.

What people are not recognising is that what is reasonable is determined by the employer and not the employee - or random MN posters.

Let's play a scenario - I assume the OP works in a school or childcare setting themselves based on what they have said. Let's say that a school is the case. The manager has multiple staff who have called in sick. There are few schools / childcare settings that aren't struggling with budgets. The law stipulates levels of care and supervision that must be met. There are not enough staff in the school now. That means the manager is now sending two classes of 30 children home because they cannot safely manage or suervise them and cannot afford any cover. If you are one of those childrens parents and work, how reasonable are you now finding the staff not being in work and having no cover? You have just had to leave work, pick up your child, look after them today and have no idea if they will or won't be in school the next few days. What is "reasonable time off" for somebody else, now that it is interfering with your work and routine?

How on earth does that work? Especially with an ill child who many professional babysitters won’t have.

Exactly. Such a silly response.
Obviously the best couse of action is to inconvenience everyone and create more work for the team because your child - your responsibility- is ill. When did people become so self-centered?

Edited

Oh they would be absolutely fine about it. They would just take time off work 🙄

Manager completely unprofessional. Appalling really and terrible management skills.

Your daughter is the most important thing in the world, work has to come second, it just does. It’s hard when your manager is bad but try to think that your replaceable at work but not to your daughter, phone up tomorrow morning or later this afternoon and tell them you won’t be in.

When we made it so that both parents have to work.
When we made childcare prohibitively expensive.
When people stated moving away from their communities for work.
When we made it easier for men to fuck off into the sunset and abandon their responsibilities.
(in this instance, it would seem)When we failed to find our schools properly.

I had no childcare options. No GPs living nearby and all elderly so wouldn’t want a sick child anyway. No random babysitters (the only babysitter I used worked in a nursery so guess what? She’d be at work!). Didn’t know the neighbours that well, and they work! Other parents at school - they work!

Yes, so this would be useful say your child needs an operation in three months’ time with two weeks’ recovery at home. You would need to apply for it and hopefully it would be approved by your employer. I’ve had examples of it being declined, one was someone applying to book parental leave over the Christmas period in a retail environment. It didn’t work for the employer, being the busiest season.

Its all quite a minefield really, but I keep stating - so important to understand the legal standing, not just our opinions.

I wonder if the same people saying a parent shouldn't be off work and should have a support network are the same who are against SAHP and expect everyone to be working and have financial independence. Where does this support network come from if everyone is working?
My parents, friends and neighbours all work, I could not find childcare if my child was ill. There are no babysitting companies in my area for sick children. It's a ridiculous concept anyway, who wants a babysitter who looks after sick children passing their germs around. There's a reason school and nursery don't allow sick children to attend.
You either want parents in work, so accept accommodations will be required or you support there being a SAHP, even if that means they require benefits.

Millions of parents work so there must be a clear way of organising childcare?

Just popping my head round the door to echo the others - You’ve done nothing wrong, OP. You’re putting your little one first like a good mum. You’ve got rights with regards to your job so don’t fret. Hope DD gets well soon. Reception illnesses are rife, I remember it well 🩵

I work and I always take dependants leave as I have no childcare (no family and both DC having complex SN). There are some employers who value good staff and the very occasional (in my case at least - just once or twice a year for a day or two) has never been been an issue. I would hope most employers approach it the same.

also, I have worked for almost 30 years now and have load of friends and colleagues who had ill children. I cannot think of a single case where the parent did not stay at home with a child and a babysitter was called instead. I have no idea on what planet some people live where it's standard to find childcare for an ill child. I have only heard about it in MN. Meanwhile, in the real world parents stay at home for a couple of days and live goes on.

Get a grip. Millions of parents work. But like everyone else, they sometimes have to take short notice leave - whether that’s for illness, short notice family commitments, to deal with the death of a close relative, take a sick pet to the vets, or a flight cancellation or delay. If businesses want to employ only people who do not need unscheduled time off, they better just employ robots rather than human beings.

And I don’t know any parents who don’t have a bit of a challenge with managing the early years. Maybe if one/both don’t work, or have a child with a perfect immune system (that’s good luck by the way). If you haven’t ever needed any time off work, you are lucky, not better than the rest of us.

How would that work in practice though?
Let’s say an agency has 20 babysitters on their books, would you invite them all round for tea one by one, so your child can meet them in advance?
Because otherwise having established contact with an agency beforehand won’t change the fact that the child would be looked after by someone who’s a stranger to them.
To have a babysitter/ neighbour “lined up” for emergencies would mean it would have to be someone with lots of time on their hands and available at the drop of the hat.
Not saying it’s impossible, but not everyone has retired neighbours willing to babysit.

My sibling did have a very expensive ongoing contract for an on-call emergency babysitting service, planned in advance, big chunk of monthly budget that they considered insurance for this sort of thing. The first time they needed it… they didn’t have a sitter available. 🤦🏻‍♀️

And millions of employers recognise that sometimes, life happens and people need to take time off.

In return, they have staff who are willing to demonstrate similar understanding and flexibility, when the shoe is on the other foot.

This is it, exactly. When my boss drops a short notice request on me, or I need to stay late for something, I’ll give it my best shot.

I’ll sometimes take calls or even occasionally have meetings, on days I’m not paid for, because I have been given flexibility and I therefore also try to give it.

Exactly but for one day concerning a non hospital sickness/injury. After that childcare in place. Do you expect the childless to pick up the extra work?

You organise in advance. This doesn’t involve teatime. The kid needs professional childcare. It might be a stranger but one that the parent can place trust in.

That has been my experience too.
The only person I knew, with no family nearby and with ad hoc childcare available, had an au pair.

Dependants leave isn't just for children. It could apply to your parents/people you live with.

If someone was seriously injured or ill, much more than 1 day may be reasonable.

How the employer deals with the absence, getting a temp, postponing deadlines or offering overtime, is entirely up to them.

Yes, but several people on this thread have already explained they wouldn’t want a stranger looking after their sick child (if a babysitter would be even available in such circumstances).
That’s my point, “organising in advance” doesn’t necessarily mean the child won’t be exposed to a stranger, and many people (understandably) don’t want that.

A stranger they can trust . You could get regular updates sent or sent to a family /friend not at work. It’s the same for most of childcare - do you really know the professional child carers looking after your kids?

"Hello, babysitter, can you please be available from Monday-Friday 9-5 for the next...uh, about 12 years? Oh no, I can't pay you to sit there waiting. Just be ready in case I need you. Thanks!"