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Original poster

Just found this out about ex

80 replies

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:05

A neighbour returned from overseas on Thursday, she left in August last year.

I saw her when hanging out my washing yesterday afternoon.

She asked me how I was, and then asked if I was still with my partner (now ex) I told her no.
She then went on to tell me the following
August bank holiday, on the Sunday the night before she was due to fly out, she saw my ex violently attack a man (we had an air BnB in the block next to me, he and his wife were a nuisance but harmless) she saw him punch him twice, and when he fell to the ground he kicked him and then picked him up and smashed his head into a bollard (he was drunk, the man not my ex)
I knew there was a fight/attack of some kind but because my ex said he was going to his friends house I didn't think it was him.
She lives on the 3rd floor so could see it all, it was pretty much outside my block.

I knew something had happened as I saw blue flashing lights, and heard a helicopter and then saw a forensic van. I rang my ex and he was fine so I didn't assume anything.
He didn't come to my home for a week but told me he was unwell.

Because the man couldn't say what had happened and was really drunk and no witnesses (my neighbour should have said something) they assumed he fell and left it at that.

I asked my neighbour if it was definitely my ex and she said yes, I saw him coming out the block and it instantly happened I was closing my blinds, I saw him look back. I asked why she didn't say something and she said she was scared for me (herself) and my son. But she wished she did.

I asked my ex and he's admitted it and said (so what) we have a really bad relationship, he now lives with his new GF and her 3DD.
I'm really feel uneasy with this information, the smashing a man's head into a bollard makes me feel sick.

How would you approach this situation, my ex isn't a good dad at all he only wants to see my son if his gf and her 3 children can come along.
My ex also told me that his GF's ex was done for manslaughter 14 years ago, stabbed the man 12 times.
Now she's got another violent man in her home, 7 months in
What would be reasonable and unreasonable in my situation, should I tell her should I go to the police

OP posts:
Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:06

How would i approach it?

unless you share a child with him, I would do bugger all aside ring a friend to tell them so we can once again rejoice he’s not in my life

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:07

You called him up out of the blue
asked him
and he just admitted it?

Sagepage · 31/05/2025 15:08

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:06

How would i approach it?

unless you share a child with him, I would do bugger all aside ring a friend to tell them so we can once again rejoice he’s not in my life

They do share a child. It’s in the OP

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:08

Oh you have a son
how old?

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:09

Does your son spend any time with him?

namechangeGOT · 31/05/2025 15:10

Is he your sons dad? If not, you need nothing to do with him.

not the point of the thread but how do you stab someone 14 times and only get done for manslaughter?

Easipeelerie · 31/05/2025 15:11

The key thing is to limit access to your son - contact centre only , but preferably none. Your son isn’t safe there.

Original poster
Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:11

I do we have a almost 5 year old son together

OP posts:
Cerialkiller · 31/05/2025 15:12

Why doesn't she report it now? She can just say the truth that she was concerned about retribution to herself or you and she's scared he will find out about her testimony. You can tell them that he admitted it to you.

I wouldn't like that he is walking free and I hope that he has no overnights with your child with his murderer gf!

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:12

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:11

I do we have a almost 5 year old son together

And does he have contact?

this needs to be your concern

Thehop · 31/05/2025 15:13

Will she report to the police? Can you? I would be

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 31/05/2025 15:13

Ring ss and tell them she is with another violent man.
And he can seek a judge's approval to see your dc....

Original poster
Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:13

@namechangeGOT he's my son's father.

It's a BBC article, said it was excessive defensive he got 7 years.
I'll post the link

OP posts:
ClaudeShowers · 31/05/2025 15:14

I wouldn’t hesitate to go the police. Why would you collude in silence with a violent criminal?!

CursiveCrisis · 31/05/2025 15:16

Don’t post a link! You are making yourself very identifiable if you do.

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:16

This reply has been withdrawn

We are withdrawing this post to ensure the link is not visible

Original poster
Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:19

@Extraavailable I texted him as soon as she told me, I just knew she was telling the truth. After much "no I didn't" he then admitted it

OP posts:
Hollyhobbi · 31/05/2025 15:19

Is it the girlfriend or her ex who murdered a man?

CursiveCrisis · 31/05/2025 15:19

This reply has been deleted

We are withdrawing this post to ensure the link is not visible

I’ve reported yoy post with the link. I know you’ve edited it but it can still be seen.

Hope you’re ok.

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:19

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:19

@Extraavailable I texted him as soon as she told me, I just knew she was telling the truth. After much "no I didn't" he then admitted it

So you have this text as evidence

Original poster
Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:21

@Extraavailable infrequently, only if he can bring his gf and her children along.
I haven't allowed overnight contact for some time now because of his inability to stick to a routine.
I questioned her judgement on having 3 children with a murderer, and moving my ex into her home after 4 months - now this!!!

OP posts:
Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:22

so you have written admission

go. To. The. Police.

do not get involved with the family of the OW. He left you for her, obviously she’s going to be skeptical of anything you say to her and will just create unnecessary drama

Original poster
Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:22

@Hollyhobbi her ex, she went on to have 3 children with him after he done it

OP posts:
Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:23

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:21

@Extraavailable infrequently, only if he can bring his gf and her children along.
I haven't allowed overnight contact for some time now because of his inability to stick to a routine.
I questioned her judgement on having 3 children with a murderer, and moving my ex into her home after 4 months - now this!!!

Forget about her

She is not your concern

you have written admission. Go to the police. The OW really isn’t going to believe you or care OP

Extraavailable · 31/05/2025 15:23

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:22

@Hollyhobbi her ex, she went on to have 3 children with him after he done it

This is none of your business

just focus on the matter at hand

your son
the fact you have written admission