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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just found this out about ex

80 replies

Mummaonherown · 31/05/2025 15:05

A neighbour returned from overseas on Thursday, she left in August last year.

I saw her when hanging out my washing yesterday afternoon.

She asked me how I was, and then asked if I was still with my partner (now ex) I told her no.
She then went on to tell me the following
August bank holiday, on the Sunday the night before she was due to fly out, she saw my ex violently attack a man (we had an air BnB in the block next to me, he and his wife were a nuisance but harmless) she saw him punch him twice, and when he fell to the ground he kicked him and then picked him up and smashed his head into a bollard (he was drunk, the man not my ex)
I knew there was a fight/attack of some kind but because my ex said he was going to his friends house I didn't think it was him.
She lives on the 3rd floor so could see it all, it was pretty much outside my block.

I knew something had happened as I saw blue flashing lights, and heard a helicopter and then saw a forensic van. I rang my ex and he was fine so I didn't assume anything.
He didn't come to my home for a week but told me he was unwell.

Because the man couldn't say what had happened and was really drunk and no witnesses (my neighbour should have said something) they assumed he fell and left it at that.

I asked my neighbour if it was definitely my ex and she said yes, I saw him coming out the block and it instantly happened I was closing my blinds, I saw him look back. I asked why she didn't say something and she said she was scared for me (herself) and my son. But she wished she did.

I asked my ex and he's admitted it and said (so what) we have a really bad relationship, he now lives with his new GF and her 3DD.
I'm really feel uneasy with this information, the smashing a man's head into a bollard makes me feel sick.

How would you approach this situation, my ex isn't a good dad at all he only wants to see my son if his gf and her 3 children can come along.
My ex also told me that his GF's ex was done for manslaughter 14 years ago, stabbed the man 12 times.
Now she's got another violent man in her home, 7 months in
What would be reasonable and unreasonable in my situation, should I tell her should I go to the police

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 31/05/2025 19:04

Your neighbor doesn’t sound like she wants to get involved. You can report it yourself, but it’s hearsay unless she’s willing to corroborate. They may or may not follow up with your neighbor. This happened last year and as far as they’re concerned it’s closed. As such, they may be disinclined to revisit it.

By letting him know you’ve potentially put a target on her back, and provided him with an opportunity to get to her first to make sure she keeps her mouth shut.

I wouldn’t approach the girlfriend. She’s likely to see you as bitter ex looking to cause trouble. You already have ongoing issues with him, and your motivations will be questioned (this may also be the case with the police).

Cardshade · 01/06/2025 06:23

The minute the Op didn’t like the posts… shuffled off.

so obvious this entire faux concern was just excitement at possibility of causing trouble between ex and OW

amylou8 · 01/06/2025 06:30

He wouldn't be seeing my son unsupervised without a court order. Otherwise I'd stay well out of it, and away from him.
How can the police mistake a violent assault for someone falling? Surely he had multiple injuries inconsistent with a fall.

Mummaonherown · 01/06/2025 18:22

@Cardshade no sweetheart, if you look at my previous posts I have said "when I get home"
A friend had my son yesterday, being a single mother I don't have the time to be on here 24/7.

Nothing to do with my ex and his new GF, I've not messaged her.

Be polite, don't assume.....it will get you far in life

OP posts:
Clockface9 · 13/06/2025 16:19

Such a sketchy story and OP

basically…. Wants to cause trouble with ex and his new girlfriend

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