Just found this out about ex

[Mummaonherown]

A neighbour returned from overseas on Thursday, she left in August last year.

I saw her when hanging out my washing yesterday afternoon.

She asked me how I was, and then asked if I was still with my partner (now ex) I told her no.
She then went on to tell me the following
August bank holiday, on the Sunday the night before she was due to fly out, she saw my ex violently attack a man (we had an air BnB in the block next to me, he and his wife were a nuisance but harmless) she saw him punch him twice, and when he fell to the ground he kicked him and then picked him up and smashed his head into a bollard (he was drunk, the man not my ex)
I knew there was a fight/attack of some kind but because my ex said he was going to his friends house I didn't think it was him.
She lives on the 3rd floor so could see it all, it was pretty much outside my block.

I knew something had happened as I saw blue flashing lights, and heard a helicopter and then saw a forensic van. I rang my ex and he was fine so I didn't assume anything.
He didn't come to my home for a week but told me he was unwell.

Because the man couldn't say what had happened and was really drunk and no witnesses (my neighbour should have said something) they assumed he fell and left it at that.

I asked my neighbour if it was definitely my ex and she said yes, I saw him coming out the block and it instantly happened I was closing my blinds, I saw him look back. I asked why she didn't say something and she said she was scared for me (herself) and my son. But she wished she did.

I asked my ex and he's admitted it and said (so what) we have a really bad relationship, he now lives with his new GF and her 3DD.
I'm really feel uneasy with this information, the smashing a man's head into a bollard makes me feel sick.

How would you approach this situation, my ex isn't a good dad at all he only wants to see my son if his gf and her 3 children can come along.
My ex also told me that his GF's ex was done for manslaughter 14 years ago, stabbed the man 12 times.
Now she's got another violent man in her home, 7 months in
What would be reasonable and unreasonable in my situation, should I tell her should I go to the police

@Extraavailable I think without my neighbour actually admitting what she saw, the pp made a good point.
I'll speak to my neighbour again tonight

Sh does but he’s also living with a woman and her 3 children. I would be going straight to the police.

Agreed
But YOU saying he went AWOL for one week immediately on the night of the attack despite you expecting him back a couple of days later IS evidence

It was his girlfriend’s ex. Not her.

You can report it yourself, anonymously, and the police will treat it as intelligence and do further investigation to corroborate it without your name coming into it. Reporting it is absolutely the ethical thing to do - this is a very serious offence.

Oh, great, and you've now told your ex that she saw him. So you've endangered her life.

Please do make sure you tell your neighbour now that you have told your violent ex that she saw him and told you so she can keep herself safe

You've ruined your case now by telling him he was seen. Your neighbour should have reported it to the police, even if she did it from the airport on her way out. Your ex sounds so nasty I wouldn't get on the wrong side of him now. If you were to move away, would he bother coming after you to see his son? It doesn't sound as though he would. I wouldn't want my son anywhere near him or his new partner.

The police will likely have his DNA from the crime scene anyway so they will match it to him and take it from there.

Good lord leave you neighbour alone. How have you managed to survive men like this when you seem to have no quiet about you at all? Keep you mouth shut. You don’t go up to him and TELL him it was the neighbour who saw him??! Then try to guilt her to go to the police.

frankly, if his gf’s ex man is a psycho as you say, and your ex is living with his kids, he’ll soon enough be on the receiving end of a battering so just leave it be.

also, none of this makes sense - the police aren’t completely stupid…it’s pretty obvious if you’ve been kicked and hit multiple times rather than ooh he just fell?

also why are you so bothered by this event? I’m sure this isn’t the first time hes been violent? Are you trying to get him out of your son’s life or something?

That’s convenient after you’d said in previous post that you texted him. Sorry OP, don’t believe a word of this one.

No you need to tell the police and force this. You cannot allow your son near this man at all.

He's admitted it to you, that's evidence. I'm pretty sure if the police knocked on your neighbours door she'd tell the truth, that's two of you. You don't need her to agree before you call the police - you could just tell her you're going to, she might feel better you've taken the decision out of her hands.

Your ex needs to be in prison.

Someone had his head smashed against a bollard & it was assumed a fall?

Some fall!

Maybe the victim does know who it was & is as reluctant as your neighbour to get involved.

I did text him, I never saw he admitted by text. Here's the post

Mummaonherown · Today 15:19

@Extraavailable I texted him as soon as she told me, I just knew she was telling the truth. After much "no I didn't" he then admitted it

@SoScarletItWas I'm not good with this site so I quoted you

You should never have confronted him. He now knows your neighbour saw him attack this man. You've now put your neighbour in danger. If this new evidence is reported, regardless if anonymous, your ex is going to know it's come from you and/or your neighbour. You need to tell your neighbour that you've told your ex exactly what she saw. She was too frightened to report the incident at the time, and she told you this, so it's not as if you didn't know, but yet you tell your ex she saw him!!!! Why on earth would you do this????!!!! You've made a massive mistake telling him, I just hope for your neighbour's sake, that your ex stays away. I bet your bottom dollar, your ex has a record and is known to the police. This won't be the first time he's been violent, not will it be the last.

I have questions.

Have you seen the annoying neighbour since then? Did he make a full recovery?

Are your ex and the annoying neighbour black? You don't have to answer, ofc. It's puzzling that the police ascribed the man's injuries to a fall. Since you mentioned carnival weekend, I wondered if a lot had been going on and they'd preferred not to ask questions out of 'cultural sensitivity'.

This can't have been the first time your ex was violent. Have you been keeping quiet or covering for him? Are you scared of him now?

In any case, I'd urge you to report the incident yourself and encourage your friend to come forward as well. You could make the call together, if it helps.

Add in op saying he went awol at the night of the attack for ONE WEEK!!!

but I suspect the OP’s primary consideration was how this intel can be used to create drams between ex and OW more than anything else

I believe neighbour said she saw an attack
and Op thought she could cause some trouble with the Ow and faux concern

Why did you tell him? This is precisely why the neighbour didn’t want to report in the first place. Now you’ve put her in danger.

Agree. It's a really strange focus - no concerns about a randomly violent man rampaging around unchecked and unpunished, no thought for the woman she's now exposed to potential harm, just thoughts of sticking the oar in his new relationship 🥴

Ask your neighbour to report what she saw to the police, if they have any DNA they can charge him. If there is any comeback from you telling your ex, your neighbour saw him commit a violent crime, then the police will know it’s your ex.
If he gets charged you can stop him seeing your son.
Also SS would take a dim view of him living with three children.

She's hardly going to go on record now that you've told your ex who it was that saw him, is she?

You need to ask MN to delete this thread, and stop discussing these events with your ex, as both have put your neighbour at risk of reprisals from a violent and dangerous man. Take advice from the police, whether or not your neighbour also reports. Consult a family lawyer about your child's contact with their father.

Why on earth did you put your neighbour in such danger by telling him it was her who saw him?