Where do you draw the line at crude comments?

[TruthPrevail]

New partner - a bit ‘rough around the edges’ you could say but a lovely man who is caring and has been a gent towards me so far.

He does however have a bit of a habit for some cruder language, let’s just say. I don’t have a huge issue with this per se, and it’s usually when we’ve had a drink or two. So I’ve not said anything to date.

However, we were looking at photos on my phone earlier and he asked ‘who is that’ when pointing out one of my friends he hasn’t seen before. I explained who she is, he asked if she’s in a relationship and I said no but she has a first date coming up.

His reply was something about her date leaving her like a plasterers radio, that’s not the exact quote but something similar.

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

Would you try to nip his language in the bud or is that seen as a bit ‘controlling’ especially this early in the relationship?

I'm not going to be policing how someone speaks; but I'm also not accepting of my date saying my friend would be left " like a plasterers radio"

What a gross creep.. basically saying your friend is so fit that he'd jizz all over her? Who even says that kind of stuff? Is he 12? What a way to reduce a friend to a spunk bucket? thats given me so much ick my facial expression hasn't returned to normal yet... 😅 absolutely inappropriate

I agree it’s vile ! You can change his language (possibly) but he will still
be the dis respectful creep perving on your friends @TruthPrevail he will just be hiding the real him . He had already let you know who he is op .

Yuk, that would put me off him 🤮 not much point in talking to him about it, this is who he is and he's unlikely to change. The question is if you're willing to put up with it or not!

I don't even know what that means tbh . I asked my DH and he didn't know either .
What does it mean please?

I must be very naive because I didn't even know what that meant. Just googled it and it's gross. And totally inappropriate.

Either you tolerate someone who uses crude language or you don't. You can't spend your time judging whether something is acceptably crude or not acceptably crude. And he sure as hell won't bother moderating in any way.

I couldn't be bothered being in the company of someone who constantly had to let you know his disgusting thoughts about women and sex.

What would be enough to put you off him?

So he's basically saying he fancies your mate and is thinking about cumming on her? Delightful. That would be it for me.

Eww! There! I’d draw the line there! Throw this one back.

I just googled it, yuk! I’m quite laid back but that would be game over for me.

It’s not so much the language that would bother me but I’d never date someone who’s first thought about a woman is how sexually attractive they are in such a demeaning way. You can say someone is beautiful without making it sexual. I’d see this as an indication of how he sees women and dump him personally

I didn't even get what that meant until I read the second post.

That's really disgusting, and so disrespectful to your friend (and you). What a horrible way to think about women. Are you going to stay with him now you know this?

I know the phrase as “like a painter’s radio” but basically it’s in reference to when workmen would have a radio playing in the background while they worked.

The radio was always covered in drips of paint/plaster etc from all their jobs. The white paint/plaster drips resemble semen, so if someone says “she’ll have a face like a painter’s radio” or similar, it means her man will likely be ejaculating all over her. Meant as a compliment but generally not well received.

Show him the door- he is telling you who he is and 🤢

It’s a huge see ya from me

I’d draw the line well before a comment like this. All this talk about “policing” is rubbish. It isn’t policing to tell someone you think what they have said is out of order. It’s simply an opinion. This kind of every day misogyny does my head in and I won’t be around people who display it.

Meant as a compliment but generally not well received.

Do you really think it's meant as a compliment?
I don't think so.
Guys like this one see women as either fuckable or not fuckable. So they aren't complimenting the woman when they say this. They just saying she's one of the fuckable ones. In their opinion.

It's not policing how he talks,it's his line of thinking and expressing it.
Horrible individual op...get rid.

I find men who talk like this often work In male dominated environments (building trade etc ) where there are cultural differences in language used and topics spoken of etc. it is cultural. I think to some extent they genuinely don't realise how offensive their everyday banter is to others. But that said, regardless, yes I'd find it crude and not really my thing. It wouldn't really offend me as such , but , I guess I wouldn't particularly be "down" with all that talk either. I reckon it'd grow tiresome.

Unless you are fine with his language, bin him. There’s no way you can train him to be what you consider to be okay.

Awful comment to make.

The foul mouth wouldn't bother me as long as it was behind closed doors and he knew when to read the room - in front of my parents etc - but leeching over my friends by saying things like that would be a huge no from me. Sleazy as fuck.

He’s a pig, OP. It’s not just his language that’s ‘crude’. Can you imagine you looking at one of your boyfriend’s friends in a photo and unable to refrain from verbally classifying him as fuckable or unfuckable in the grossest possible way?

Yeah, it’s not thr language for me. It’s the opening saying that he fancies your friend…and then talking about it in a very crude way.

Ditch him. I couldn’t see any comeback from that.

Well he has shown you who he is so accept it or move on

Are you dating Jay from The Inbetweeners?

What a prince this vulgar misogynistic prick is - grim 🤢