AIBU to leave my child home alone?

[HopefulDoubtful]

My thirteen year old is asking to not be left with a babysitter in the evenings any more and to be allowed to be home alone. I am a lone parent and my child is an only child. I rarely go out because I don't want to call in favours from family too often (we don't have much family around) so if I were to leave her home alone, it would allow me to have more of a social life. She is sensible (bar enjoying the opportunity to eat snacks and stay up later) and is used to being home alone for a few hours in the daytime no problem.

At what age is it reasonable to stop using a babysitter and how late would you feel comfortable staying out if your teen was home alone?

Is there any need to be so rude?
Other people are allowed an opinion.

Yes, but that post was making out the op was leaving a toddler with a bag of crisps to go on an all night bender. Not a capable 13yr old so that mum can actually, heaven forbid, have a social life.

And we wonder why the new generation seem incapable of being independent people.

Yes fine but I’d probably aim to be back no later than 10.

If your daughter is happy with it and if she has a phone to call you and / or another trusted person in case of an emergency it's OK in my opinion, but I'm not sure what the law says.

I was going out babysitting at that age! I think a 13 year old should be fine at home for the evening.

We left our DD at this age till 11pm. Like you not drinking ourselves when we went out and not miles away (I think that makes a difference). It depends on the child but if she’s sensible, if you’ve had a chat about no door answering and she knows what to do in event of an issue then I think 13 is fine. As others have said I was babysitting other children at this age.

If your daughter is happy to be left, if you have your phone switched on and with you at all times and good neighbours she would be prepared to seek help from in emergency then I see no reason to insist on a baby sitter. Why not try it once or twice and then see if she is comfortable with it after all. If she expresses doubt then maybe go back to having someone for company for her for one more year.

What difference is it when you return at 10 or 11. What changes after 10pm

So you would be out what, 4 maybe 5 hours? Perfectly reasonable. If it was 4 hours during the day for work then it wouldn't be questioned as much but things like power cuts, plumbing emergency or any other thing that could go wrong is just as likely to happen during daylight hours as in the evening. A good parent does need to allow their children to learn independence. And taking a few hours for yourself occasionally helps you be a good parent.

Wow surprised by these comments, no I wouldn’t do that. Those that are saying you use to babysit at 13 would you hire a 13 year old babysitter now for your own young children?

We have a 14 DS and currently have no problem going out but prefer to be home while he's awake. I just think he will have an awareness if anything happened while he is awake.

If we were to go out it would more likely be a Fri/Sat and therefore happier for him to stay up later than mormal which fits in with the 11ish time

A sensible 13 year old who doesn’t mind being left, yes absolutely.

I leave my DS13 in the evenings sometimes. He loves it!! He can't wait to get rid of me. I do have an older DS but he's often out.

Sometimes I'll go out with a friend and her DS comes here or mine goes to hers and we pick up on our way home. Is there a friend that could come over to hang out with her?

As ever it depends on the personality of the child. She sounds a sensible lass. If she has your number and the neighbours' number then I see no problem. But ..... when she is 16 ........ ! 😮

Depends on the 13 year old but my own DD babysat her little brother at 13. Was excellent at it.

I babysat other people's children at 14. 13 is fine. Unlikely to burn the house down or have a teenage house party at that age. It's the 16 year olds you've gotta watch! 😂

13 sounds right as long as he can contact you and someone else easily if he needs to and that you also spend plenty of evenings with him.

Not referring to siblings, more as in would you hire a 13 year old sitter..

Some I would, DD's friend I would absolutely trust to be a good babysitter. OH's little sister has babysat a few times, I think the youngest was when she was 13 or 14. I babysat a little baby on new year's eve when I was 13 and did a very good job of it, calmed her when she woke up in the night.

There's always one 🙄

I babysat at 13, and yes I would hire a 13 year old now for my kids, my granddaughter is 13 and babysits for a neighbours kids.

A sensible 13 year old I knew, yes sure. My friends have a very sensible 10 year old and she'll be more than capable of babysitting in a few years.

How unpleasant

As others have said I was happily babysitting from around that age maybe until 11/12 pm. I wasn't afraid of being in the house "when it was dark outside" either - a pp mentioned that might unsettle a 13 yo.

Can I ask a genuine question, regarding this. And I being genuine.
When my oldest was about 10, my Sister in law moved 500 miles away.
From the summer that age was 12, my daughter used to catch a train to spend 2 weeks with her. This was in the infancy of mobile phones, so no contact or Internet etc. She was perfectly able to do this.
My granddaughter is now 14 and has a job, she drives vehicles (for her job) and I honestly can't imagine any 13 year old not being left alone. (Additional needs excepted of course)
So my question is, are you being genuine, and if you are wh? What would mage a grown adult baby a teen to this extent?
There is absolutely no evidence of any more threat to anyone than they're was before. No evidence at all. Maybe only perceived threat.