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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this rude…

83 replies

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:10

Our new neighbours have a child who my son plays with outside in the communal garden. Today the mum came to ask me something, my son opened the door (he’s almost 12) and shouted for me that Nadia (fake name) was at the door. By the time I’d got to the hallway, she was inside my home almost in my lounge!! She entered my home without being invited and I felt really uncomfortable, as I’ve only met her once before shortly after they moved in a few weeks ago…
Am I BU to find this rude???

If so, advice on how to tackle this!?!?

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 30/05/2025 16:13

You might consider that it would have been rude of your son to leave the mother if a playmate outside as though she were an unwanted door to door salesman.

Nicebottleofred · 30/05/2025 16:15

I don’t think that’s rude, if a child you know opens the door you go in and shut the door behind you so the child is not hanging around the open doorway.

Nicebottleofred · 30/05/2025 16:15

pikkumyy77 · 30/05/2025 16:13

You might consider that it would have been rude of your son to leave the mother if a playmate outside as though she were an unwanted door to door salesman.

Also this. You’d be admonished for rudeness “don’t leave Mary standing on the doorstep!”

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/05/2025 16:16

Meh. It's not as if she opened the door herself and walked in. Your son opened the door. I mean, you could argue that it's a teensy bit cheeky, but not to the point that you need to 'tackle' it.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 30/05/2025 16:17

If so, advice on how to tackle this!?!

Tackle what, your disproportionate response?

Bellaboo01 · 30/05/2025 16:17

I personally wouldnt find this rude.

I suppose it depends on the context though. Why did she come round? Why did you feel uncomfortable?

CorrectionCentre · 30/05/2025 16:18

I'd find that rude.

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 16:19

It's your issue to teach your child how to answer a door and what to do in each scenario (stranger, known, salesman, cold caller).

Its also up to you to determine if they child is knowledgeable enough to handle the responsibility of answering the door.

Its not the responsibility of the person knocking on your door to know your boundaries. The issue lies with you.

Original poster
curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

OP posts:
Penthrowingsurvivor · 30/05/2025 16:27

she was inside my home almost in my lounge!!

how big is your house?
If you have a McMansion and she had to do a 5mn walk to almost reach the lounge, yes, it's weird.

If you have a bog-standard 4 bed detached and being "almost in the lounge" but not quite, means she did 2 steps after someone answered the door, you are being ridiculous. She wasn't selling insurance, was she? You have kids playing together.

toomuchfaff · 30/05/2025 16:32

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

yeah but you don't know if the child basically left the door ajar and walked away shouting you basically insinuating to come in...

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/05/2025 16:34

curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 16:21

Okay I see a lot of people find it ok for people they don’t know to enter their homes, that’s fine!!😂 But I personally would have waited at the door for a parent to come to speak to me. So maybe that’s why I found it rude😅

No, it's a little bit odd, but not something I'd get worked up about, unless it was a total stranger, but it wasn't, was it?

Sasha07 · 30/05/2025 16:38

She should have waited unless your child had specifically said to come in. I know my neighbour extremely well but we still wait on the doorstep unless invited in! I find southerners are more forward than northerners though. Not saying that's this in this situation but my southern friends are a different kettle of fish to the locals 🤣

arcticpandas · 30/05/2025 16:39

Personally I wouldn't have entered the house but at the same token I wouldn't have given it second thoughts if a neighbour mum went in after having been let in by my son.

ItsUpToYou · 30/05/2025 16:39

I think it depends on your community. Where I live (estate in London), it would be very unusual. We don’t know our neighbours like that and even the ones who we do know probably wouldn’t come right in. But if you live in somewhere that’s more community focused, generally all come from similar cultural backgrounds therefore generally know each other’s norms and expectations, I’d imagine it’s not so unusual.

Jellyrols · 30/05/2025 16:41

Absolutely rude to enter without being asked.
Are you sure your 12 year old didn't ask her to step in?
If not, yes she was rude.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/05/2025 16:55

I said yabu for finding it rude. At worst its an awkward moment, maybe she wasn't sure where to stand

Did your son say 'come in'?

Enrichetta · 30/05/2025 17:11

What’s the appropriate response in Mumsnet speak…….. unclench?

JellyAnd · 30/05/2025 17:20

I wouldn’t have walked in myself unless invited but equally I wouldn’t think twice that a neighbour whose son is a friend of your son, so hardly a random stranger, came into your hallway because I’m guessing that ‘almost in your lounge’ is only a few steps from your front door because communal garden doesn’t exactly scream massive countryside pile. It’s a total non issue.

wobblybrain · 30/05/2025 17:21

Nicebottleofred · 30/05/2025 16:15

I don’t think that’s rude, if a child you know opens the door you go in and shut the door behind you so the child is not hanging around the open doorway.

Edited

What do you think would happen to an 11 year old at their own front door?

KrisAkabusi · 30/05/2025 17:31

Your son let her in!

Tagyoureit · 30/05/2025 17:35

Well at least you now have confirmation that she is not a vampire!

And you are truly over thinking this

ginasevern · 30/05/2025 17:42

Personally yes, if I was "Nadia" I would have waited for an adult to come to the door and invite me in. However, if I was the OP I would absolutely not tackle Nadia (what the hell would you even say to her!) and I certainly wouldn't be steaming mad about the whole thing.

feelingbleh · 30/05/2025 17:46

Yanbu its weird and i wouldnt do it but I also wouldn't do anything about it as i don't think its a massive deal

Original poster
curlygirlietwirly · 30/05/2025 17:52

Tagyoureit · 30/05/2025 17:35

Well at least you now have confirmation that she is not a vampire!

And you are truly over thinking this

😂😂😂😂😂 thank you!

OP posts: