Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour having an affair - do I report my suspicions?

647 replies

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:53

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

OP posts:
Blogswife · 29/05/2025 21:48

Omg , you have no proof of anything and it sounds like you hardly know these people
Mind. Your.Own.Business

ArtfulPinkBird · 29/05/2025 21:50

Stay well out of it, it could be a whole host of things other than an affair- maybe she meets with friends for drinks when her husband is on lates so they can spend time together on other nights OR maybe she's having an affair. Either way, I'm more impressed that you're so aware of your neighbour's comings and goings...... I think it'd take me weeks to notice if mine moved out! As others have said, mind your own business and maybe get a hobby.

greenfingers22 · 29/05/2025 21:50

Sometimes women dress up when they hang out with other women who make an especially big effort… it has nothing to do with men, she could have a best friend who she sees regularly. If she was having an affair she’d surely walk away from her house to get picked up rather than have all the neighbours witness it… I think you’re really overthinking this

TheGander · 29/05/2025 21:51

Are you posting from Afghanistan? !

Helloworlditsmeagain · 29/05/2025 21:51

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:56

Because our neighbour is a very nice man and if I was in his position, I’d want to know?

Heck, they could be trying for a baby for all I know and i’d potentially save him from the mess that would bring.

She could be an escort?
I wouldn't say anything.

8misskitty8 · 29/05/2025 21:51

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 21:01

It’s the same car picking her up and bringing her home - nothing to do with work

How do you know it’s nothing to do with work ? Could be the same colleague driving her home.
She could be doing anything, she might be working in a bar/pub, going to bingo, dancing, filming a show, appearing in the theatre, sex worker etc etc.
It is none of your business and if you and your husband are spending your life watching her movements and sniffing her then you need a new hobby or get a job.

TerrysCIockworkOrange · 29/05/2025 21:51

Of all the bullshitty threads that ever bullshitted on Mumsnet, this is the bullshittiest of them all. Pack it in OP

SabreIsMyFave · 29/05/2025 21:52

Wait with the what now? Shock

Errrrrrm, how about you stay out of other peoples business @AmzJS ?!

JustMyView13 · 29/05/2025 21:52

Mind your own business. Snitches get stitches.

FutureCatMum · 29/05/2025 21:53

I’m mostly here for the comments 🍿
But jeez, if I get a male friend to pick me up midweek to go out and I’m looking good then what must my neighbours think of me!
Have you literally nothing better to do than track her movements including what time she comes home? Get a hobby.

Duckduck2 · 29/05/2025 21:53

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 21:24

We believe it’s a male, obviously when it was darker we couldn’t tell.

So you are not even sure it’s a male picking her up?

The woman has the house to herself so if having an affair she could invite them in seeming as you think she is brazen enough to be picked up/dropped home from her own house.

The woman might have made friends at a local group and go out for drinks the evening her husband works so would get dressed up. Literally there could be so many reasons why she is going out.

I would keep your nose out because if you are wrong then it would very awkward after and would ruin your relationship with your neighbours.

TheGander · 29/05/2025 21:54

JustMyView13 · 29/05/2025 21:52

Mind your own business. Snitches get stitches.

A bit harsh.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 29/05/2025 21:54

Quick, call the police!

Nodancingshoes · 29/05/2025 21:54

No, why would you get involved? These are not your friends - stay well out of it. No one thanks the messenger believe me!! For what it's worth - very similar happening with my neighbours. Not my business though

SabreIsMyFave · 29/05/2025 21:55

JustMyView13 · 29/05/2025 21:52

Mind your own business. Snitches get stitches.

😆

LOL, sounds like something from Prisoner Cell Block H, or Wentworth!

12purplepencils · 29/05/2025 21:55

What a nasty curtain twitcher you are OP.
Glad you're not my neighbour.

ParmaVioletTea · 29/05/2025 21:55

You Cannot Be Serious

Good lord, woman Get.A.Life

CloudyPortal · 29/05/2025 21:56

If you have the guts you could just bring it up when you next see them together. "Did you have a nice night out the other day? I haven't had a proper dressed up evening out like that in ages! Where did you go"

SabreIsMyFave · 29/05/2025 21:57

CloudyPortal · 29/05/2025 21:56

If you have the guts you could just bring it up when you next see them together. "Did you have a nice night out the other day? I haven't had a proper dressed up evening out like that in ages! Where did you go"

Really? 😆 Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Soitwillbefine · 29/05/2025 21:57

There isn’t any reason for getting involved in something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

However nice he is and however genuine your intention may be, it’s just a terrible idea.

Whattodo1610 · 29/05/2025 21:57

What! Fucking hell! Get a life OP! Sheesh!

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 29/05/2025 21:57

So when her husband is not there is she supposed to stay home and do nothing?
How are dare this slag of a woman go out and also get dressed up. What a massive hoe. Doesn’t she know she should be at home alone waiting for the return of her dear husband, constantly pining for him, while sewing buttons onto his freshly pressed shirts, humming and being so so grateful that she has a man to be a slave to?

leave her too it. May she is maybe she isn’t. If she’s doing it on her doorstep the truth will find its way out

OldWomanInACardigan · 29/05/2025 21:57

Keep your nose out of it, it's nothing to do with you.

Naepalz · 29/05/2025 21:58

Wtaf is wrong with you? Get a life of your own! You come across as a right interfering, sanctimonious cow.

OhNameHgcaher · 29/05/2025 21:58

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 21:24

We believe it’s a male, obviously when it was darker we couldn’t tell.

Get a life you curtain twitcher.