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Original poster

Neighbour having an affair - do I report my suspicions?

647 replies

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:53

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

OP posts:
Lonelydave · 30/05/2025 08:08

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:53

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

Goodness, next thing you know, women will be allowed the vote, and go into a bar/pub unaccompanied, perhaps even get a job....

Keep the speculation to yourself, there could be an innocent explanation, or it might be an affair, or they might be in an open marriage (crumbs).

Not your marriage, just neighbours.

HopingForTheBest25 · 30/05/2025 08:09

It's interesting how so many people think that just because they live on the same street as other people, those people's lives magically become their business! Why?

Original poster
AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:11

Well, well, well.

At the risk of coming across a bit smug, it sounds like my suspicions have been confirmed.

Given the warmer night, we had our bedroom window open and shortly after being woken by our neighbour returning from work in the early hours, we heard a right old slanging match going on - I’m surprised it didn’t wake half the street!

The term ‘liar’ was heard loud and clear directed at the lady - so that says to me she has been caught out.

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on!

OP posts:
puffinchuffin · 30/05/2025 08:13

Oh give over. Its been going on for months but suddenly resolves the very same night you posted? Of course. What a crock of shit.

summerscomingsoon · 30/05/2025 08:14

No one owes you any apologies. You still sound like a nosey nutter neighbour.

Which bit of NONE OF THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS do you not understand.

Bet you're dying to pop round and tell the husband YOU Already knew 🤔

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/05/2025 08:14

@AmzJS are you hoping to be congratulated? 🤔

scalt · 30/05/2025 08:16

@Bonkersdogmum That’s exactly how one of the series of Keeping Up Appearances began. “Elizabeth has a man in the house!”

Mind you, it feels like only yesterday that mumsnetters were egging each other on to spy on their neighbours, to make sure they didn’t buy Easter eggs and other non-essential goods, or go out for more than an hour a day.

Original poster
AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:16

summerscomingsoon · 30/05/2025 08:14

No one owes you any apologies. You still sound like a nosey nutter neighbour.

Which bit of NONE OF THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS do you not understand.

Bet you're dying to pop round and tell the husband YOU Already knew 🤔

There are no winners in this - I certainly won’t be revelling in anyone’s misfortune.

OP posts:
SlashBeef · 30/05/2025 08:17

How pathetic.

Ponoka7 · 30/05/2025 08:17

I'd have thought some type of hobby, being used as her 'night out', so a bit of make up/dressing going on. The thing in the car is called chatting, it's quite normal. She needs to bin her fella off. It sounds as though he wants her sitting in the house, but she's entitled to a life. You are a nut job and definitely need to get done up and get out and about a bit more.

Spirallingdownwards · 30/05/2025 08:18

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:16

There are no winners in this - I certainly won’t be revelling in anyone’s misfortune.

Show quote history
Brady Bunch K GIF

If ever a post deserved this gif it is this one

DildoSaggins · 30/05/2025 08:18

puffinchuffin · 30/05/2025 08:13

Oh give over. Its been going on for months but suddenly resolves the very same night you posted? Of course. What a crock of shit.

This ^

OP thinks we were born yesterday. What a massive coincidence that she has just been caught out and you were right all along. Pull the other one 😂

Original poster
AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:18

It does prove one thing though - always trust your gut feeling, it’s rarely wrong x

OP posts:
treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 30/05/2025 08:18

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:11

Well, well, well.

At the risk of coming across a bit smug, it sounds like my suspicions have been confirmed.

Given the warmer night, we had our bedroom window open and shortly after being woken by our neighbour returning from work in the early hours, we heard a right old slanging match going on - I’m surprised it didn’t wake half the street!

The term ‘liar’ was heard loud and clear directed at the lady - so that says to me she has been caught out.

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on!

Yes yes of course this happened 😂. On that note as clearly this is a very honest and truthful thread. I would like you to know that I have grown 3ft more during the night, my natural hair colour is pink with yellow spots and little elves visit me at my home to sort out my housework and cook lavish banquets for all the nursery rhyme characters that arrive at my home on Sundays. 🙄

Daybrake · 30/05/2025 08:18

This thread is hilarious and bizarre 😂

Riaanna · 30/05/2025 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Riaanna · 30/05/2025 08:20

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:18

It does prove one thing though - always trust your gut feeling, it’s rarely wrong x

In the world of fantasy.

Barbiewhirl · 30/05/2025 08:20

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:11

Well, well, well.

At the risk of coming across a bit smug, it sounds like my suspicions have been confirmed.

Given the warmer night, we had our bedroom window open and shortly after being woken by our neighbour returning from work in the early hours, we heard a right old slanging match going on - I’m surprised it didn’t wake half the street!

The term ‘liar’ was heard loud and clear directed at the lady - so that says to me she has been caught out.

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on!

You sound horrible from this comment, its obvious you just wanted to wrangle your oar in for the drama rather than for the sake of her partner otherwise you wouldnt be posting this. Id hate to have a neighbour like you.

lousandjays · 30/05/2025 08:20

Ah I heard that too. It was one of the residents from the care home I mentioned in my earlier post.

He had slipped in the back seat between our neighbour belting out “My heart will go on” and “It’s all coming back to me now” except it wasn’t coming back to him at all and he thought our neighbour was actually Celine Dion and he was outraged at her lies. “Liar, liar,” he shouted at her honestly he nearly woke the whole neighbourhood.

Don’t worry, though, the pastor calmed him down and was able to get him back to the nursing home before lights out.

Growlybear83 · 30/05/2025 08:21

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:11

Well, well, well.

At the risk of coming across a bit smug, it sounds like my suspicions have been confirmed.

Given the warmer night, we had our bedroom window open and shortly after being woken by our neighbour returning from work in the early hours, we heard a right old slanging match going on - I’m surprised it didn’t wake half the street!

The term ‘liar’ was heard loud and clear directed at the lady - so that says to me she has been caught out.

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on!

Why would anyone apologise to you? If your latest update is true it doesn't change the fact that you must have broken all records for being the world’s nosiest neighbour. Whatever has or hasn’t happened between your neighbours is NONE of your business.

Arquebuse · 30/05/2025 08:21

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:11

Well, well, well.

At the risk of coming across a bit smug, it sounds like my suspicions have been confirmed.

Given the warmer night, we had our bedroom window open and shortly after being woken by our neighbour returning from work in the early hours, we heard a right old slanging match going on - I’m surprised it didn’t wake half the street!

The term ‘liar’ was heard loud and clear directed at the lady - so that says to me she has been caught out.

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on!

OP, kindly, think about therapy to unravel what precisely has gone so terribly wrong in your life that you are writing internet threads about spying on the neighbours for evidence of infidelity, and being so utterly delighted to have your overheated ‘suspicions’, as you see it, vindicated?

Two things.

One, if they’re not married, it isn’t ’adultery’.

Two, in general, suspicious ‘real time’ updates look like failures of credibility and pace. I mean, at least sit outside in the dark with binoculars for a couple of months. Go through the recycle bins for hotel receipts and saucy notes. That kind of thing. Put in some effort.

TheGreyQuail · 30/05/2025 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Never2many · 30/05/2025 08:23

I hope a few apologies are posted in my direction - I’ve told DH to get the fry up on! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

In today’s episode of writer’s forum….

Jc2001 · 30/05/2025 08:23

AmzJS · 30/05/2025 08:18

It does prove one thing though - always trust your gut feeling, it’s rarely wrong x

None of this changes the fact that it's none of your business which was the point of the vast majority of posters.

FigTreeInEurope · 30/05/2025 08:25

I'm shagging her. Damn, you've caught us.