Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

I thought it was a dig at slim people too. You seemed to be sneering at people who don't eat a lot or who eat healthy stuff.

You thought wrong then. I was very clearly sneering at those banging on about op taking more than she "needed" - i deliberately used that word.

Agree.

Clearly it wasn’t a dig at slim people as not all slim people eat like the way you describe or have that kind of attitude to food about only ever eating what you “need”.

You weren’t body shaming and there was no mention of people’s size. Slim does not necessarily equal tiny appetite /under-eating/unhealthy attitude to food . So that could’ve described anyone. I was the one eating all the office treats after lunch back in my size 6-8 era 😂

Anyone can have a weird attitude in regards to how others eat, I’ve seen larger sized people comment critically on how much or what others are eating and slimmer people who just mind their own business.

Apologies if I didn't read it right. But maybe you didn't express it 'very clearly' though, seeing as I wasn't the only one who misunderstood?

And they were, as there was still loads left at 4pm

I agree.

I wouldn’t take home stale buffet home for my son 🤢.

I would think OP was a bit greedy though - going up 4 times is a lot - and I am fat! I wouldn’t say anything though

It was very clear as I used the reference to how much humans need food to live.

kindly I think there's a tendency to see things that aren't there when youre slim and assume everything is a dig. I know i used to feel like that. Bit of a chip on my shoulder about it etc. Caused many arguments over completely benign comments that I'd completely misread.

@Megifer

i can see where those other posters are coming from tbh.

youre insinuating that anyone who think getting up four times to a buffet is greedy must be on the verge of disorder eating and is rubbish company.

@Megifer Ok. Yes, you did emphasize the word 'need'. But I'm still puzzled. Genuine question: why is someone 'not fun' if they don't eat a lot because they only eat what they believe a human needs? Or even if they don't eat a lot for other reasons? (I am NOT that person, by the way. I love food and I'm not slim. The nurse at my last medical said I was overweight.)
But I know some great people who don't enjoy food much and they can still be fun to be with. And if I'm eating out, I don't really care what other people are eating.

I've been in that situation where there was just one veggie option that I could eat but others ate the lot. The same happened when I'd ordered the veggie option on a flight and in the event there was none left for me.

I would have probably thought to myself that’s a lot of food to be eating, but I wouldn’t have said anything out loud.

Not very often one gets a free lunch so why not! Colleague sounds annoying 😑

Tell them to fuck off nasty bastards

I've said, very clearly, that my comment was taking the piss out of the posters using the word "need" in relation to ops food intake. As in no-one NEEDS to eat more than half a poached chicken breast and raw carrots every 2 days or do. In fact, i believe humans can survive weeks without food.

However, youre free to infer whatever you wish from my comment of course. I can't do much about that

What gave them the right to decide on a joint Buffet . Fuck right off

You should have told her never to speak to you in that manner. That was very mean especially in a public setting. I would be absolutely livid.

Honestly, my dude, you're overthinking and analysing my comment waaaaay too much 🤣

It wasn't that deep. It was literally "those posters who are saying people should only take what they need" (as in the actual meaning of the word need = essential etc) then, yea, I bet they're a right laugh at meals out

because why go out for a meal given no human NEEDS to eat more than.....oh....nevermind 😂

🤣 🤣 ..
Not laughing at you OP , that post made me laugh though 😂 ..

Oh Fuck them ! Who cares what they said , Well I know you do , don’t give it anymore thought & enjoy your weekend 😊..
I’m sure it would bother me at the time as well , i’d be over it now though & I hope you are too ! X

I think after lunch I might have gone up once but to go up 3 times is a bit much. We're you actually hungry or just fancied something to snack on?

Anyway there no way I would take food that had been left out of the fridge all afternoon and in the summer as well, back to my children. I don't think many parents would. But I wouldn't say anything to someone that did.

You have a very rude and out of order colleague. The trouble is, not only you, but your other colleagues, will have been caught off guard. I'm sure many were thinking the same as me but didn't want to blow it all up by challenging them. Mind, if this sort of nastiness happens again from this person I would be picking them up on it sharpish.

I would go up as many times as I want. Woe betide anyone say anything to me. You can clearly afford to eat better than stale sandwiches and bloody dry arse flapjacks. How dare she speak to you like that. She was mean and she knew she could get away with speaking to you like that. This shows the dynamics in your office. You need to stand up for yourself more

It's always about the kids! All people do is go on about their bloody kids. Parents get all the sympathy and free passes. This is sadly not surprising that it came down to "only people with kids can take the leftovers home".

These type of bring in buffets are free for alls, allowing colleagues to snack at will, throughout the afternoon. Just because people return to the table a few times, they could be eating less than a person, who did one trip, and piled their plate up. Don’t worry about it OP it’s not like buffets are every day, and you know yourself, that you picked a few bits up each time, and definitely were not greedy. If you had been greedy, there wouldn’t be the ‘loads’ of food left, they describe, that they greedily took home to feed their kids!!! I presume other child free people contributed food, so the ones with kids piped up to say they are the only ones who can take food home, unbelievable!! I can’t believe you didnt respond to these comments as I wouldn’t be able to not!!

FGS, there was loads of it, it was a special event and a treat, not a normal day. I'm sure OP doesn't usually graze all afternoon.