Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

Why on earth would people factor children in re the office food? How ridiculous. Horrible that they made you feel bad op. They're nasty.

Weirdly there was the same scenario I. My office this week. A load of parent split up the food that was left from a work lunch to take home and feed their children.

Anyone else really fancying some buffet food now? I wish I’d never typed the words “cocktail sausage”.

Are you a dietician?

So the ones who got decent food won't get anything back and the cheapskates that contributed a packet of bourbons get to keep them! Not fair. A buffet is for everyone to eat as little or as much as they like, and who admits to taking home leftovers from work to feed their kids!!!

Who eats a buffet lunch then another two plates of food throughout the afternoon then still more? I'm sorry but it does sound excessive and I can understand someone thinking "bloody hell, she's after more?!?"

Agree, what a bunch of morons.

yes

You went back THREE times after lunch and got more sandwichES????? That sounds like an awful lot of food… sorry op, I do think that sounds greedy.

i can’t say that I would want to give my children left over food that’s been sitting out of the fridge for hours, and possibly touched by several people 🤢

Imo, if you don't pile your plate high multiple times at a buffet you're doing it wrong 😂

OP you're fine. Buffets are made to be eaten.

My first ever on mumsnet LTB

Leave the buffet 😋

Is this a joke response?? I like to get 3 to 5 plates of food, but only eat a bit of each one and waste the rest.

Yes!!!

It’s not that relevant whether you think OP was being greedy or not. I mean personally I would say she isn’t, and also think it’s worth pointing out someone may graze all afternoon but then have a very light dinner if at all. You’re only getting a snapshot of their eating habits.

But as I’ve said whether you agree she is greedy is neither here nor there. The main point here is that it was a massively inappropriate way to talk to a work colleague.

You can’t just go around calling them greedy - even if they are - and who they are to decide it all goes back to people with kids?

It’s all very well bleating on about the CoL but that’s also hit single people too. So should all the single men and women with or without kids have got priority then? End of the day the point of leftovers is to take what is left over.

And if they’re struggling to feed their kids maybe budget more or check out a food bank. I really don’t think leftovers from the office buffet is going to make a sustainable difference.

Just say, yes I'm starving! The person calling you greedy is just projecting their own anxieties on to you.

I do think it sounds like you ate a lot but it also wouldn’t bother me as you were mostly eating what was left after others had had lunch.

Had you taken all or most of one item before others had chance to take any then that would be “greedy” to me. Not eating up leftovers.

I’ve got a couple of friends who have commented on my eating habits and I’ve had to set them straight -MYOB!

I don’t mind if it’s genuinely in jest, but sometimes you can see people are faintly disapproving. And it’s really not helpful or kind.

OP would you mind sharing if you are overweight? I’m just wondering because I noticed when I was in my teen and 20s and a size 6-8, people would comment positively and kind of marvel at much I could eat and “still stay slim”.

It wasn’t until I put on weight in my mid 30s that I started getting snide food policing comments. I’ve now lost the weight again but it was definitely NOT helped by people making those kind of remarks.

I don’t think it’s that unusual to take food home for dc, both DH and I have been offered food at work for this purpose.
DC were pleased to have a cupcake or whatever.
I don’t think it means that these parents were entitled to it however.
If you were hungry you should eat the food and without any feelings of shame or guilt.
But acting like a human dustbin isn’t necessary or helpful for you in the long run, don’t eat food just to prevent food waste your body is worth more than that.

Yanbu. Hardly crime of the century 😔

Greed= taking more than you need. Only you know the answer to that op.

I wouldn't have liked that either if I was you. They were very rude to you.

I don't think you have done anything wrong as it's fair game when the foods been put out.

I know this doesn't help but this is why I tend to avoid buffets in work, I can't be bothered with the judgement of who brought in what and how much people have ate.

I just leave them to eat and then I eat my normal meal in the canteen.

Your opinion if appropriate portion size are irrelevant and made without enough knowledge of the facts. Finger sandwiches can be very small and if she only had a little plate with a taste of a few things to start with (as I would do to ensure everyone gets to try their colleagues contributions) then she might not have eaten very much at all. They all brought food for each other. Parents commandeering the rest for their families and berating the OP for eating is really poor form.

Next time, take bigger portions.
Lunch break was over too, so it was probably strange if everyone else stopped after lunch break.
Either way your colleague was rude.

This mistake you made was in not saying ‘blimey, didn’t realise I was so interesting that you were watching em intently and making a tally’. Then when they said about you not realising ‘well if you haven’t been upfront about it, bit sure how you expect me to be psychic’. When people are rude it needs nipping in the bud so they think twice about it in the future!