Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

I’ve not read the thread (but op yanbu) but please tell me I’m not too late for the “oh I’m stuffed after one cocktail sausage” brigade. Or the “I can’t believe you ate so much UPF brigade”?

At buffets I never pile my plate, I just put one or two small items on at a time so I can easily go up five times.

I think your response is a tarring lots with the same brush.

The OP openly says she went back as it was the end of the day. If people were precious about it then surely they would have had chance to go collect their slab of cake for hubby.

I personally hate waste and if I thought it was going in the bin, I would eat more than my average.

I don't think shaming people is the appropriate response. If I wanted to save something, I would bring a tub to take home a porrtion for my loved ones. But I wouldn't shame someone for taking extras. Poor OP.

Take this excellent advice @HamOnBeth

I wondered this. Maybe the people with children brought in nice things in big quantities and the poster brought a pack of cheap biscuits. Usually at a work buffet someone brings little and eats lots.

Yes, but you need to have a better strategy for feeding your family than hoping there will be an over-catered work lunch.

I'd just say I'm taking it home for my nieces/nephews/cousins/elderly parents/dog/guinea pig then.
If they're so desperate for free food for their children paid for by their colleagues, why not just set up a crowdfunder for their 'starving' offspring?

Going back 3 times is a solid effort OP

I haven't read all the replies, but to those saying going back 4 times is a lot - you haven't seen the plate sizes the OP had. When I was in the office with buffets out, sometimes I'll go for a wander whilst on a screen break (five minutes every hour) and just take one or two items depending on their size. That can easily be done 4 times and nobody batted an eyelid.

Surely the definition of greedy in this instance are the people insisting on taking other people’s food contributions home to feed their OWN KIDS!

The leftovers clearly belong to the people that brought in the food. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ready. 🕵️‍♀️

The story so far is eat, I’m not sure that included sandwiches, then a few more sandwiches … & another few sandwiches. This is a buffet & the food can be tempting, so we’d usually eat more than we would if it was a set meal. The food was there to be eat & you gobbled it up. 2 people mentioned this, are they usually bitches?

Surely its just as greedy people taking loads home for their kids. I do wonder if you have a bit of form when the person says "you won't have will you" are they implying you often eat a lot of the buffet...?
I wouldn't take it to heart, it sounds like a misunderstanding and you just missed the bit where people wanted the food left, instead you fairly thought it needed eating up. I'd have assumed the same as you tbh, I've not heard of people taking this type of stuff home unless it's prepackaged or something like haribo. Not sure my kids would want leftover lunch sandwiches tbh.

Me too. I thought it was a zombie thread at first. Bizarre. OP must enjoy watching all the wound up responses about food.

I think this is the kind of thing that people get angry about when they are already angry and are looking for a reason to express it.

Since she is not returning I think you are right. I am glad someone else remembered the other thread. 😂

Oh, you're not. Mind, I'm equally amused by the number of Mumsnetters who would drop dead of food poisoning if they ate a sarnie that was more than five minutes. Fuck knows how the human race has managed to last for several thousand years, most of that with artificial means of freezing or refrigeration. By rights we should have died out millenia ago.

Sort of agree. Isn't eating food, not because you are hungry but just because it is there and may be thrown out-- a bit greedy?

When someone is very rude to you in a workplace context, such as calling you 'greedy', I find a suitable response is 'do not speak to me like that.' Hard stare. Continue with what you were doing. It is totally unreasonable for people with kids to think that the rest of the office needs to make sure there is enough lunch left for them to take home. I would be minded to follow up with an email to whoever was rude telling them the way they spoke to you was inappropriate, and I'd also make a note in case it becomes 'a thing'.

Did you eat more than what you brought (roughly)? If yes, that would be greedy, especially going back that many times for several
items each time.
Maybe some people only had food once and were planning to get a second helping on their way out?

'No need to be greedy with it' and '"Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes could be construed as bullying, or at least a step towards it; I agree with the person who says to take a note of what was said and when, just in case.
And the thing about those with kids getting to take home the rest just sounds like guilt-tripping to me.

I'm so sorry they made you feel bad for doing something entirely normal. A buffet being out is an invitation to eat it surely? Yes only take a medium plate full on the first round but the food tastes best fresh so I would assume second and third rounds etc during the afternoon are just fine. Also it is incredibly rude to comment on the amount a person eats. Then they had some strange secret agreement that they didn't share with you that kids that don't work at the office get a share of the food. Then you were told off for something you could not have known was "wrong" because you didn't have that information.

I have kids and if there are a couple of cakes left over from a meeting I might take them for the kids at 5pm but not if a colleague wants to eat them there and then. The kids won't know!

I'm sorry OP this sounds like bullying. Have they done anything else to make you feel this way?

I agree. When I host my renowned Air Buffets, where nothing but the freshest and purest air is served, everyone is stuffed after seconds.

This may be one person being a bit of a bitch or you may have a bit of a reputation for always having more than your fair share and someone finally felt moved to say something.

Agree that an agreement that people with kids take it home is not reasonable (unless happily agreed to by everyone) if everyone is bringing it in. But I don’t think that’s the crux of the issue here. You went back a lot. You took a lot. A few sandwiches and some cake each of FOUR times after lunch is a lot of food and I would think a lot more than most people take. If you do this sort of thing all the time people are going to notice and probably get a bit resentful unless you’re always bringing in far more than most people.

How really rude and nasty that person was.
Yanbu to be upset.
How dare they.