Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

Beyond excessive 🤔

Sorry but my first question would be, are you overweight? If so, then yes perhaps you were being greedy.

That does sound like you ate a lot. At least three lots of sandwiches is too much.

It does sound a lot op and it sounds like you were eating it to be a human dustbin rather than actually taking enough to satiate you. We all know eating for the sake of it is bad for us. Having said that we’ve all eaten too much at a buffet I am sure. Your colleagues were unbelievably outspoken to voice their opinion.

At our work we have decided roughly what to bring, and take turns. So one month my team will bring cheese, another team ham/meat and vegetables and cakes etc. (once a week). It works out about equal. If anyone wants to bring anything extra apart from this, it’s up to them.

But yes, if you don’t do this, it’s not going to be fair. And cf’s feeding their kids is batshit.

You were about to take a fourth share an hour before the end of the day. Sorry, but I do think that’s greedy and while I wouldn’t have called you out, I don’t think your colleague was awful to have done so.

The polite thing to do in that situation would be to ask around if there was a general plan for food. My first assumption would be that any leftovers would be offered to the person whose party it was first, or that people would want to take home leftovers of the thing that had contributed. People taking stuff home for their children would be my last thought, but I’d still consider that some people might not have had a second helping so they might have wanted to take some home.

You were greedy, but they were rude, and I know which is worse.

There's a difference between thinking someone is greedy and outright saying it. Also, the only reason they bothered to say anything is because they'd already eyed it up and decided it was theirs for their precious children to scoff later on.

That's a far cry from calling you out for taking more than your share.

It would have been one thing if you were first in line at the buffet, piling your plate to capacity, and then scoffing more food throughout the day so that no one else got a sniff. Then, you'd deserve to be called out for that.

The fact that they called you out specifically because they wanted to keep the food for them and theirs says how unbelievably selfish they are.

It's one thing taking leftovers home from a buffet-that's fine, but not fine to restrict it to just people with kids. Everyone who contributed should have an option to have a share of the leftovers. Leftovers mean just that-they're what is left over at the end of the day.

It's entirely another to expect your colleagues to not eat anymore (even if they wanted to) just so you can squirrel the food away for your kids. No, it's a work's function, not a kid's party.

Why are some people obsessed with how much others eat? I wouldn't have noticed or care about someone going to pick at the left over buffet during the afternoon. The only way it would have been greedy is if you helped yourself to loads BEFORE anyone else had a chance to get any, which from your post wasn't the case. People have different appetites, some people like to eat big portions, who cares?! Why do people get to decide what amount of food is "greedy" for someone else and taking it home for their kids? Fine if it's sealed packages but I wouldn't be giving my kids foods that have been left out all afternoon.

At our work buffets people were encouraged to eat as much of it as we could so it didn't go to waste. I think it's greedy to shame someone for eating something that they clearly want to take home themseleves!

I could eat 3 three course meals in a day. I’m a good eater and love food. You shouldn’t shame others just because they can eat and enjoy more food than you.
And no I'm not fat.

Say you are taking the hard curled ham sandwiches home for your cat.

People get extremely feral when there is 'free' food around. I used to cater for a course and people not involved in the course would try to nab a sandwich before the course began.

Nobody should be dictating who gets the leftover food. It does sound like you were eating an awful lot; full plate, more sandwiches, couple of sandwiches, flapjacks, muffin... most people stop at 2 slices for lunch, so max 4 little triangles. However, it's your right to have lots if you want to, and I doubt it was the sandwiches that were the issue as they would be nasty by hometime, more like the flapjacks and other treat foods.

i agree with you entirely. Maybe I think some of my colleagues do their hair in an unflattering way or have bad dress sense. I’m allowed to have my own personal thoughts - what I’m not entitled to do is voice them at my work.

There should be boundaries at work that are respected. I don’t understand why negative opinions on colleagues - that have no relevance to your professional duties - need to be expressed.

Are you overweight by any chance OP?
I ask because i am and I regularly got accused of being greedy/eating all the biscuits/chocolates etc that our little team were given. In reality, I had no more than my other colleagues, but a couple of my team mates would always comment on how I’d ‘made short work of those!’ ‘They didn’t last long!’ etc
It made me feel shit tbh and I honestly think it was because I was the ‘fatty’!!

I dislike these sort of work lunch buffets. I am always conscious of others and like to ensure there is enough food for everyone so I take minimal food to begin with, this means I am still hungry after. I would therefore go for a second helping if it was available later and possibly some people would think I am greedy for doing that.

I’m sorry but it does sound very greedy. You went up four times.

I don’t see why people should expect to take left overs home for their children, that’s ridiculous. The buffet was for you and your colleagues, a work thing.

However going back several times throughout the course of the afternoon and taking several items each time does look a bit greedy. And someone noticed enough to comment so I wonder if perhaps you took more than anyone else without realising.

Tbh I think it depends on the layout of the office, I wouldn’t be able to gelp
BUT notice if someone was passing g my desk four times with plates of sandwiches….I’m nit sure I’d have to look very hard to see that!

At my work there used to be a couple of people like this, in their late 50’s Always commenting what people were eating. But they were the ones who secretly sneaked in to the staff room to take some sweets or whatever. I even saw one of them stuffing their pocket once.

But noooo, they would never eat sweets or cakes. Only fat people would do that.

Oh and they would always tell very skinny colleagues to have a slice of cake. ”Go on, you can have some cake, you are so skinny so it’s fine!!”

I hope you dont work with those horrible ppl anymore!

Exactly ! Next time say “I never assumed anyone would want to feed their kids stale sandwiches for their dinner, I thought people cooked their kids proper meals”. Shame them right back OP!

The greedy people were the ones who'd earmarked the left over work buffet for their family tea. You did nothing wrong.

I have to say i am impressed by the amount of people here who have never ever had seconds, a bit more because it was so nice, another couple just because it was there.

Does sound like you were up there quite alot and probably ate more than others. . Where I used to work I always found it was the people who failed to contribute or brought something very small that ate the most . Some people do get greedy if it’s “free” - bet you ate more than you would normally.

Imo, if you don't pile your plate high multiple times at a buffet you're doing it wrong
Couldn't agree more!

Not the point of the thread, but are you public sector? Because if not, I think the employer should be providing refreshments for leaving dos and not colleagues themselves. Not necessarily proper food, but drinks and snacks at least and at least if the person is leaving permanently.

Yes, exactly. Did nobody have anything else to do – like work – that they had time to sit around and count up how much food somebody took?