Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

YANBU. The food is there to be eaten by colleagues not bloody kids!

Who decided the food is going to the kids?

People with kids, probably!

Isn’t the whole point of taking what’s left over exactly that - what is left once those who the food was intended for and who contributed food have eaten, namely you and your colleagues!!

This is so rude to call you greedy for eating food left out for the purposes of being eaten by those in the office, I would be upset by that too.

The others are clearly just salty that they will get less free food at the end of the day to take home for their kids….

Probably!

They need to be told that the food is brought in by everyone, those with kids and without kids so they can’t unilaterally decide to give it to just the parents.

Plus, wouldn’t the sandwiches be stale and hard by home time?

Take note of this in your diary, with the people involved and their exact quotes. My nightmare workplace bullying situation started off with a little gang making comments like this. Watch your back. Xx

To be honest if I saw some one going back THREE times after the lunch I’d be thinking ‘Gosh how hungry can they be’? But I wouldn’t have said anything and see no reason why the food should then be reserved just for parents to take home.

You didn't hear that someone commented about leftovers being taken home for people's children so you weren't to know. If I was hungry, I'd have had a few more bits too.

If there was still loads left over after you had some more at 5pm, then there was still enough for those people to take bits home for their kids (ewww...yuk...the food was sat in an office environment for 4 hours at least and they actually WANTED to take it home?!)

"I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes." This would have annoyed me enough to ask 'what's that supposed to mean?'

Very unfair on you. Greedy is hoovering things up before everyone else has had a chance.

The kids thing is odd, a bit mawkish and would frankly annoy me!

I’d be interested to know who decided people with dc were getting the rest? I remember a post on here where a colleague said she was taking home similar leftovers for her Dh/dc’s packed lunches and there was an outcry. I’d be helping myself until I left work, it was brought in for colleagues, not colleagues’ kids!

You weren’t doing anything wrong but I think people can get a bit irrational about food.

I still feel a bit irrational about not getting a piece of mini rocky-road at an NCT postnatal get together, over fifteen years ago. But I just make up for it whenever rocky-road is available now!

Just laugh it off and ask the key commenters if they are planning to set up a system of ration cards for the next leaving lunch.

Next week all the ones with kids will be off looking after their children who have food poisoning from eating curled sandwiches that were left out for an entire day before being transported home in a nice warm car.

I suspect the people commenting were the ones who had eyed it up to take home for their children, left overs are just that though; if any is left over. It was rude of them to comment and you were fine, its not like you ate it all so others didn't get a look in.

It’s food for a work purpose meaning to be consumed by people who are employed there. Taking anything home is not reserved for certain people, especially not their kids. This is why we have had snacks removed from our workplace because people were taking the piss taking crisps and sweet home for their children.

YANBU

I think they were really rude and I wouldn't expect people that liked you to behave like that. Do you normally get on well with them?

I think if I watched someone go up four times to take food, I'd also think they were a bit greedy!

I certainly wouldn’t have said anything, and I wouldn’t take any mangy old food home to my children or eat it myself for that matter. But I would have privately thought you greedy for eating lunch, then one hour later another two platefuls, then two hours later another plateful

As a teenager I was reprimanded at a wake by the son-in-law of the deceased for trying to take a second piece of the only vegetarian offering because ‘everyone else likes it too’. I still feel a mix of shame and indignation three decades on!

You aren't greedy OP. I expect the people making the comment wanted free food for their kids. To be honest, who the actual fuck wants to take home buffet food that's been hanging around most of the day. And made in someone's kitchen that might be skanky anyway.

I'll admit to me it sounds like you had a lot, an hour after lunch you went back for several more sandwiches, another hour and a couple of sandwiches, flapjacks and a muffin. That's all I'd normally eat for lunch and I wouldn't be constantly grazing all afternoon

Did you contribute a fair share to the buffet in the first place? That is the only way I can imagine you were being unreasonable, if you were tucking in, having contributed little or nothing?

I think we are more affected by random comments from people if it reminds us of something or picks at a mental scab.

i am good at my job. I’ve also got a case of imposter syndrome so if someone suggests I’m not good then I can spiral if I don’t have a harsh wird with myself. Did she hit a nerve?

or could be that she’s been accused of being greedy, or she really watches her weight and would love to be like you enjoying food. we sometimes lash out at a behaviour that we have been told is wrong so it may all be about her.

id lean into it, get a mr men mr greedy t shirt!

This reminds me of my old toxic workplace and an especially toxic, selfish colleague. We did a kind of informal bake-off once where about 8 out of say 12 of us signed up to bring in a homemade treat one week (a different person each week.) The 4 or so who didn’t sign up are those who rarely work on-site or have restricted diets. Everyone takes public transport to work and it was really just for fun so people would just being in 8-10 portions of what they had made so everyone could taste.

As soon as she arrived, cheeky toxic fucker would put at least 2 (usually 4) portions into her purposeful Tupperware for her teenage sons’ snack! I avoided interacting with her as she was just such an awful person (and the main reason I left working there) but a blunt, Australian colleague just called her out, just factually, without being rude or pass-agg, and it was glorious.

they were unfair to decide what to do with the leftovers without communicating or consensus, however if I had been your colleague I’d have privately thought you were either hungover or eating your way through a bad period.

OP the only reason you could possibly be accused of greed is if you don’t contribute to the buffet in the first place or bring something cheap and horrible that is a much lesser contribution than everyone else’s.

Agree that the buffet is there to be eaten and the taking stuff home/kid thing is weird.

Maybe take one of those shopping carts old people have next time. Just shove the food into it and say you're taking it for the needy.