Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

“How do you usually feed your kids?” Would come to mind.
Don’t cry, son. Roger is retiring next year. You can have a sandwich that’s been sitting out all afternoon and curling at the edges then. Just don’t bank on a stale flapjack. 🙄

My post or the OP’s post? 😳

I think that the OP over-ate.

You’re right that people do judge this sort of thing. I guess it’s maybe not the hidden judgment I’m surprised at (because we do have issues with food as a society) so much as posters on here insisting to op that, yes, objectively she was being excessive.

Because in the absence of other selfish behaviour it’s a rather illogical moral judgment at the end of the day. Why is eating a lot of food the same as too much food?

So a lot, excessive, abundance of food, any word really that means large amount or quantity? But greedy somehow isn’t the correct word?

Because it’s not there for them to take home for their children!?

I’m struggling to understand the correlation between having kids and being more deserving of the sandwiches.

Your post

Are the co-workers so desperate to feed their starving kids that they need to take food that has been sitting out all day from their office pot-luck? 🤮
No shame in going up 2x, 3x, 4x, what ever. 🙄
Co-workers are bitches. Steer clear of them.

Think you missed my point lol

I agree it's not for the children but if they were that worried they could of took a bit and wrapped it up.

I think it's ridiculous tbh my old office buffets we took what we wanted then went to the pub no big deal

I'd question my job if my colleagues were upset over a bit of cold quiche and a sausage roll...

Why would someone’s child be more entitled to eat the work lunch than the people who actually work there?! Taking food home that’s left there at the end of the day is one thing but that’s usually to avoid waste. It’s not waste if it’s been eaten.

I only think it’s greedy when someone piles more than their shares worth on their plate before everyone has had a chance to go up, such as if 3 pizzas were ordered for a team of 6 and someone goes up and takes a whole one for example leaving the others short.

Sounds like a normal healthy appetite to me, not greed. Also, I assume your actual work is pretty boring so the extra stimulation of a bite to eat would be welcome, hunger or no hunger.

I'd put the embarrassment behind me, but at the next workplace buffet I would pointedly avoid eating anything at all, and I'd respond to any smart remarks with a raised middle finger.

‘Excessive’ or ‘too much’ and ‘a lot’ aren’t synonymous.

The last is neutral. The former two are not.

Op may have eaten loads of food. I don’t necessarily think this implies excess. In the absence of it harming anyone, who is to say it’s excessive?

But I don’t think we’re going to agree on this as it’s clear eating more than strictly necessary is inextricably bound up with morality for many people!

Yum 😋 - lucky kids getting dried up sandwiches and snacks that had been sitting out all day at room temperature!

While food is there to be eaten, popping back three or four times for “a few sandwiches and other bits” is greed.

Buffets are rank anyway after the first hour or so and the food should have been thrown away not quaffed down after it had been sitting out in the warm, and certainly not been taken home to anyone’s kids.

Yes, I understand. But I’m saying that would be rude as hell, wrapping food up to take home before people who work there and brought the food had finished eating. Leftovers is one thing. I would definitelt stop contributing if cf people did this.

Many years ago a couple of assistants would deliberately order food that they would then take home for their families. They finally got caught when they ordered BBQ ribs for 30 for a “working lunch” 🤣

And?

YANBU. Your colleague was very rude.

If you were piling your plate high 4 times in quick succession and not leaving enough for others I would think you were greedy but I still wouldn’t say anything.

You sound greedy too

I guess the answer to "are you hungry?" was yes & that's why you were taking more food!

Otherwise you'd have been asking about stuff to take home.

Are you overweight? You do sound like a bit of a greedy guts 😅😅

Or worms?

I agree but what's the difference in making sure there's some left for their children. Not much difference is it really

I think it's all daft, food is for colleagues and been left out all day. I wouldnt give my children it lol

They sound really uptight and silly, plus it would have gone stale by the evening, best to just eat it up!