Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

I’d think it was a bit much to go up 4 times in the space of a few hours but wouldn’t say anything, but I would notice.
I’d understand the comments made if you only brought in, let’s say, one small pack of cocktail sausages and decided to take more than your share of everything else. It still doesn’t make you greedy but it would make you cheeky.
However, I have a 7 year-old and would absolutely not be assuming to take any buffet food home for her, I can feed her myself.

Sounds like you were taking a lot

You're allowed to do it, so fine in principle, but just going on your own facts - you all had lunch, so presumably back in the office at 1pm at the earliest, more likely 2pm. Then you got more sandwiches. An hour later you got more more sandwiches and cakes. Then by 4pm you went and got more on a mission to use it up. That is a lot of trips to the buffet by anyone's standards. As I say, totally your prerogative but then you can't be surprised at being seen as greedy. I find it hard to resist buffets/office food too but I'd be aware I was pigging out, which is greedy by definition. We're not doing it out of hunger.

They were fucking rude. I don't care to save food for people's kids (not everyone has them). I also wouldn't be monitoring what people eat. Someone could have six tiny plates or one absolute mountain. Who cares. It's extremely rude to comment especially in those terms and the food is for the team.

Leftovers to take home are a bonus when people have finished eating.

Ah the teeny tinies are out in force.

If there was a buffet in the office at my old job we would all just eat it all day long and no one ever commented. No one wanted leftover food at the end of the day and everyone was happy for it to be taken home. Kids had nothing to do with it.

I’m middle-sized and four plates is a lot from a buffet. Most people would have a plate, maybe seconds and be done. Also, eating food that’s been left out all afternoon is minging.

This!

That’s very rude of your colleagues. Once I called out a colleague who was stuffing her bag with food to take home to her mother… she said it would “do them for their tea”I was annoyed as there wasn’t a lot o everyone and she was taking all the nice things so I said hold on maybe wait til everyone has had their lunch. She was offended but I’m glad I called her out. But for you no way that is very rude to basically call someone greedy .

It is when you do it four times!

I wouldn’t have said anything but if I had noticed someone going up 4 times to a buffet I also would have thought it was a bit greedy.

eating food that’s been left out all afternoon is minging.

Not muffins and flapjacks surely. I'd eat a muffin even if it'd been left out all night. No one (without specific allergies) died from eating a muffin that's been exposed to the air for more than a few hours.

I’m a bit surprised at how many people agree the op was being ‘greedy’. The word implies a negative judgement - excess, maybe depriving others. But eating a lot of food in and of itself isn’t a moral act.

I have a colleague who’s notorious for packing it away at work buffets. I always think ‘he eats a lot’ but I would never think of him as greedy - he only goes up for thirds and fourths (and more) when it’s obvious it’ll be wasted otherwise!

Maybe the fatties ate them?

That is beyond excessive.

You went to the buffet four times.

Four times makes me think that you were eating all the food. That isn’t greedy - that is glutinous.

You didn’t consult with any of your colleagues before feeding your face multiple times. If you did someone would have told you that parents were taking food home - which makes me think you aren’t close to people in your office.

It doesn’t matter what the people on mumsnet think of you - multiple colleagues you work with think you took too much.

Did you grow up with food insecurity or do you have a fear of missing out with no root cause?

I don’t think she was greedy - I think she was gluttonous.

It’s rude to feed your face four times.

I think the colleagues comments were inappropriate, nasty and personal - especially in a work context.

Greedy would have been if there were 5 colleagues and 5 pieces of cake and you had immediately taken 2, for example.

The buffet was there for colleagues to celebrate the other colleagues’ maternity. Not to provide food for colleagues’ children. What’s next - you can’t take a new pen from the stationery cupboard because that’s been earmarked for their children’s pencil-cases?!

Im not sure how best to raise it but I would be looking to flag this in some way. Especially if you are a colleague in a bigger body then I think this is crossing the line into judgement on personal appearance/weight (as comments on food/eating often are).

As it is, their entitlement & judgement has turned an event that was presumably organised to encourage staff camaraderie into one that led a colleague to feel shamed and ostracised for participating.

Sounds greedy to me. But also, people with kids taking priority is just annoying.

No. I think it was them. They are the greedy ones if anybody should be called greedy. The buffet isn't for folk to take home leftovers.

God people are weird. It was just sitting there, its there to be eaten, you ate it! people have different appetites! What difference did it make to their lives except they couldn't take it home for their kids?

Seriously???? Food that has been out for most of the day……..and people think it’s ok for children!!! FFS dump it!

That isn’t greedy - that is glutinous.

😁

Maybe OP only took a small amount each time rather than stacking her plate high and not eating the majority of it? If the food is there and it’s eaten by the staff, who cares how many times someone might get something?

You did nothing wrong. And even if they thought you were being cheeky or greedy they should have had better manners and kept that opinion to themselves!!

I regularly arrange catering at work for meetings etc and the leftovers I end up bringing out of the meeting rooms and putting on the cabinet at the end of the bank of desks I sit on. So it gets eaten by anyone passing who fancies some.

some people will take one sarnie with a little grin as though they are being cheeky, others will take lots and come back multiple times. I just don’t care - I’d rather it didn’t go to waste! So long as you didn’t pick up the whole lot and take it to your car before anyone else got a look in then I don’t see you did anything wrong.

id be embarrassed too.
if it’s a one off and you think the matter is closed then I’d move on. If they bring it up again I’d breezily (outwardly - inwardly I’d be dying inside) say something like “oh well it wasn’t clear that only parents could take leftovers after the initial lunch rush and I don’t think a few sandwiches and a flapjack across the whole afternoon is greedy anyway! I can’t believe it’s coming up again to be honest!”