To ask him to get DS showered

[LoveFridaynight]

I will start this by saying I am a SAHM/carer. Due to this I do virtually everything at home and for DS as he can't be left alone unless he's sleeping.
I haven't been feeling great for a while I'm not ill but in a lot of pain with my back and neck. I can't go to the chiropractor until next week as DS is on half term. DS was awake early this morning and I asked DH if he could please just get DS up and shower him before work (we only have a bath over shower so I have to lift DS in and out.)
Obviously DH said no, he hasn't got time before work. I said it's a 5 minute job and you aren't leaving for 40 minutes. DH no I've got stuff to do. I would if I had time.
So of course I do it, hurt myself more and end up feeling pissed off.
I do everything all DS's appointments and exercises with him, as well as normal household/childcare stuff
It's a small thing but it would have ment a lot to me. DS is very full on, absolutely love him to pieces but it's been a hard week and just one less thing to do would have been nice.
I guess I m asking if I was unreasonable to ask DH to get DS ready for one day considering he knows I'm in pain and not sleeping well?
I know DH goes to work and without his salary we'd be screwed but I wasn't asking him to take time off just to do something before he left.

I think you're unreasonable to ask last minute to fit in the shower just before work. I have my morning routine before work, that's very important to me, because it sets me up for the day of work. I can't deviate from it at all without notice, else everything gets messed up. I have a whole day of work in front of me, which I need to prioritise.

@Agix do you have to timetable when to be a parent and a decent human being? You know your partner has a bad back, you know they have to lift their child into the bath, would not a decent human being and parent realise that they should be doing that at the moment. Not to ‘help’ their partner but to do some parenting

You are NOT being unreasonable! I feel for you, back pain is nasty. You sound overwhelmed.
The man could have showered and dried the child and still had time to shower and dress himself. But, as you said in a comment, even if he had been a few minutes late, given the circumstances, it is unlikely this would have been an issue for his employer.
on the fb comments someone has said her husband could not do this because he is neuro divergent. I don’t think you have said yours is. But even if it is the case people do have to be able to use strategies to be able to cope with everyday life including work and childcare. Someone else said give him a bed bath, that woman has clearly never given a child with complex issues who is covered in poo a bath on a bed while suffering from a bad back.
I am appalled by the insensitivity of some of the posters.
As your child is under five it may be difficult to access much practical support. But, I presume you already have had a referral to or are under guidance of an OT? Please share your difficulties with health professionals. As your child grows you are going to need more help. I send you empathic thoughts .

I know! This place gets crazier by the day!
Posters saying that he wasn’t given enough notice??? What, to actually parent his child?! The child that he knows has a disability and that needs a bath every morning and that he has a wife that he knows is struggling with pain and a lack of sleep right now? I mean seriously, what the actual fuck!
Oh and he buggers off on a Saturday to do his hobby too!
You need to tell him to step up @LoveFridaynight because he’s taking the piss.
How much ‘help’ does he actually do at home?

😂 love it!

So even if your child just produced a very dirty nappy that had leaked, youd still stick to your routine and ignore them?

So fed up of these selfish men who think donating soerm and money is all they need to do as a father, and their fucking hobbies.

YANBU at all, OP.

I think part of the problem may be that they are now in the routine of her doing it. So it doesn’t necessarily cross his mind to do it.

that’s why a proper conversation is needed about fair workload and ensuring things are done.

One of them also needs to get onto pushing for an OT referral to ensure aids to help everyone are in place

Good grief some of you lot replying are unreasonable! This is clearly posted by a mum who is physically and emotionally done in. She wanted a bit of help. Yes it was last minute but so what? To the OP I think your husband was entirely unreasonable. And even more do if you don’t get a break at weekends. What if something happened to you? Would he look after your DS? I’m so sorry you can’t rely on your hubby, the one person who should have your back