Do you leave meals for grandparents when they're babysitting

[Jellyrose20]

I've just returned to work after mat leave and we have various grandparents helping out with childcare for my baby which I'm very lucky to have.

I'm getting mixed messaged from them as to whether I should be leaving them lunch to have.

Two of them have stated they'll bring their own food as they feel it's unfair to ask me to prepare something.

The other has asked I leave her something in the fridge and has been specific about what they will and won't eat.

I'm happy either way but I'm wondering what the done thing is.

Yabu - I leave them a prepared lunch

Yanbu- I would not prepare them a lunch

I made sure my fridge is stocked up and food there for them/ baby

My parents used to pick my kids up from school once a week and look after them at our house until me or DH got home. They made a simple meal for themselves and the kids.

Can’t they just make a sandwich from whatever’s in the fridge or something?

Surely for lunch they can sort themselves out? I would always have bread/ rolls, salad, cheese, ham etc so they can make themselves something? I don't think you need to cook specially. I did leave food for my baby when weaning but after that stage, my parents just make them what they know they like. TBH it's usually freezer food as it's a guarantee they'll eat it which is important to my Mum.

My parents never did daytime child care at mine but for evenings I get a posh ready meal in for them to reheat when suits them

There is no "done thing". It depends on the gp. Maybe one feels to stressed out to cook while watching your little one? I do think it's a little bit exagerrated to request certain meals but in the end they are watching your child so just agree to it. If you don't want the hassle just ask them what ready meals you could buy for them/give them money for take away. It's not a big deal since they do watch your child for free.
I take it it's your Pil requesting food😄. My Mil is a cordon bleu so she would never ask me to prepare something for her and she regularly has my children. She sometimes gives me food/cake she's made:). Yeah, I know I'm lucky.

I did.
Not going to lie, it was a bloody nuisance because it meant I had 3 people to organise before I went to do my shift at work.

I would make & leave lunch then dh would cook them a meal when he got home from work at around 5.30. So needed to make sure we had everything on for that too.

This was once a week as they came from 11.30 until 5.30. Baby had a 2 hour nap in the afternoon too.
They would arrive and wait for me to make them a cup of tea each while tearing around getting myself ready to leave for work. Both retired.

I paid them to do this too.

Generally it was a sandwich, crisps or soup and nice bread, quiche & salad or some-such.
Easy as I didn’t have the headspace or energy for anything more fancy.

It only lasted around a year as they got fed up and decided they would rather stay home and watch TV on a Friday instead of drive (20 minutes) to see their only grandchild and help us out.

I've babysat on a number of occasions and generally take my own food because otherwise if I get fed at all it'll be at some ridiculous hour when I'm starving. I've been left a ready meal once.

It does discourage me from doing more babysitting because I feel the least they can do is make sure I've a drink to hand and there is something easy in the fridge. But I'm talking about a young baby who wants to sleep on me, For older children I'd expect to eat whatever the child(ren) are having and to cook it for/with them. Ordering takeaway would be nice as they can well afford it.

I always leave stuff for my mum but then she eats with DC so makes them all lunch.

Maybe just add some of the GPs favourite sandwich fillings to the fridge - not too hard?

Mine were only ever doing childcare over lunchtime, and usually it was at my parents' house so they made their own. If they'd been at mine over a dinner time, I would have left something for them to all have.

For lunch, no. My parents would help themselves to a sandwich and anything else they wanted. But that’s what my child would eat.

My parents do childcare once a week. I used to leave them specific things for lunch like soup/quiche etc, but they never ate it! They prefer to take kids to a cafe. So now I just make sure fridge and cupboards are well stocked in case they want to grab something. I leave meals for the kids though.

when parents/in-laws do evening baby sitting I leave them a posh ready meal with a dessert

I don’t cook a meal or prep anything in advance but I always make sure there’s plenty of food in the house and she knows to just help herself. Just the usual fridge and cupboard stuff. There might be some leftovers in the fridge that’s she welcome too.

For evening babysitting I always offer to get something specific, but my mum always just brings her own.

For a daily childcare situation, I'd just expect family to make a sandwich or whatever and help themselves to whatever I had in.

No rules though.

I can’t understand why you wouldn’t? At the VERY least, make sure there’s something they can forage.

I leave my dm food in the fridge i know she will eat.

I imagine the cost of childcare far outweighs the price of a sandwich.

I would always say help yourself to any food in the fridge and would make sure there was stuff there. My mum and MIL aren't fussy so wouldn't require any special shopping.

My parents do occasional childcare and bring their own. They tell us specifically that they will sort themselves out. If they don't bring anything they all go for a little walk to the nearby bakery.

MIL has done extremely occasional childcare and eats whatever we have in.

I would do whatever they prefer. If they don't want lunch, leaving them some money to buy some or a gift voucher for a delivery service might be a nice gesture. The primary thing is to show them their help is truly appreciated and you aren't taking them for granted.

I've never prepared meal for babysitters and now I'm wondering if I've been really thoughtless!

I would make it clear they can help themselves to anything and make sure there's plenty of snacks. Milk, bits for sandwiches and if it's in the evening I'd leave something very simple like frozen pizzas or sausage rolls for everyone.

My mum usually feeds my kids, takes them for a McDonald's or let's them pick something at the supermarket, but she only does as hoc weekends, not regular weekday childcare.

I make sure there’s plenty of food in (cheese, ham, coffee, fruit, bread, milk, yoghurts, biscuits and chocolate because my Mum always wants chocolate).

I’d go somewhere in the middle.

I don’t think I’d go so far as preparing their lunch and leaving meals ready. But also wouldn’t be buying in specific things they ask for.

My fridge is usually very well stocked so I’d have more of a “help yourself to anything you like”
mantra. There’s always be bread and sandwich fillings, bits for salads, quiche etc that they can help themselves to, but they can make it up themselves.

Grandparent here - my dd always tells me to just help myself and I do. I usually do something simple like an omelette or a bit of pasta and cheese or something I'm preparing for dgd. I would never expect something prepared for me and left specially as I'd maybe not fancy it and certainly don't want to put them to extra work.

Used to just leave bits for lunch but if I’d been asked to get specific things in of course I would have
dinner I would leave ready to heat up, or sometimes my dad would ask me to get specific ingredients so he could cook for us all
I did plan their meals and it was part of prepping for the day if that makes sense. Feeding them was a consideration when I was planning my week. I’d sit down to do the food shop for the coming week and would text whatever grandparent was helping that week and ask what they wanted in, mainly for tea but would have factored in lunch too.