DP friends wife, AIBU?

[MooreMooreMoore]

DP has a big group of former colleagues and their partners who regularly meet up. They are all really nice, one woman insists on prefixing my name with ‘young’ eg. Can you pass the wine to ‘young Emma’. I am the only Emma, so she’s not differentiating between old and young Emma.
We are all within a 4 year age range, I’m the same age as half the group including her husband, we all have comparable education and success levels.
I need a nice retort to put a stop to it, but something that won’t highlight me as the problem, but it’s annoying me, she’s ever so nice, but it still feels I dunno belittling.
AIBU? Is it me? Would this annoy you?

'You know this 'young Emma' thing, we need a nickname for you 😄😄 what do you all think guys??'

Wait for everyone to get talking on funny nicknames and then when everyone is talking friendly 'you know nicknames have never really been my thing! I think XX is the only person to ever give me one!!'

Big smiles the whole time

If the above doesn't work have a quiet word with XX's partner that it bugs you

"Just Emma, that's my name" EVERY single time she says it. Loud enough that other people hear you. Eye roll "what's she like". to everyone else. Show her up, she's being a dick.

"Thank you old Suzanne!"

"Oh thank you old Rachel" . And just keep doing it until she stops.

😂 this made me laugh.
i would take being called young though, tbh 😂

I’m petty in these circumstances and if the direct approach didn’t work would insist on referring to her as ‘old’ whatever her name is until she got the hint.

Call her old Donna or whatever her name is, or comments such as yes it's so funny we're so close in age I really didn't think so when we first met, ha ha I guess time is kind to some of us.

Her name isn't Bridget by any chance, is it...?!

She could be 'Vintage Sandra'

He’s a fog horn, I fear it would be used more.

God, she’d probably take that literally, I’d be forever known as Just Emma

No, have you suffered a similar fate?

I don't really get the issue? It's just a nickname, not even a funny one. If it bothers you, just tell her to stop. Use your words.

This is my natural default and I’m trying not to bite

I would wait until it’s just the two of you, or find a way of getting her on her own and just ask her to stop. I’d chat about other things and when there is an appropriate moment I’d say ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you if you would stop calling me young Emma, I appreciate the compliment but I’d really prefer to just be Emma’

Start answering "Thanks decrepit Deborah' and give her a wink every time 😂

It’s rude and annoying- I wouldn’t like it either. I would say something like, ‘what’s with the ‘young’?’ I’m the same age as X, Y, Z…’ But I would also keep it light to avoid awkwardness.

She sounds passive aggressive to me- do you think she is threatened? Do you look young for your age and she doesn’t?

Maybe I’m reading a hidden agenda into it. She wouldn’t get away with calling me Fat Emma or Thin Emma, it appears like she’s being nice but it feels a bit off. She doesn’t do it to anyone else in the group. My friends who I’ve known for decades don’t have a nickname for me, yet this woman does. If I use my words I’ll look like the problem.

Either she’s trying to be funny and it’s not landing, or she’s trying to make some kind of point with this behaviour, some kind of power dynamic to put you in your place. In which case she’s relying on you being too polite in order to achieve her aim.

I think your default reaction is the right one. Is there anyone else in the group you’re closer to who could give you some background on why she’s behaving like this?

Just say thanks grandma

Also, if you call her ‘old’ in retaliation and someone else calls attention to it, you can easily come back with “after her calling me young Emma so much recently, I thought that was just what we were doing now” and push it firmly back on her.

She’s being condescending to you.

I love the ‘Old Rachel’ retorts suggested above.

Your DP didn't also have an ex called Emma who they now refer to as old Emma in the group without you knowing? Maybe the "young" is her way of digging at you rather than saying "new Emma"??

I’ve not noticed anything else, no passive aggression, she’s lovely with everyone and we share a very similar humour. There’s no flirting from anyone so no reason for anyone to feel threatened.
I’d say she looks her age, I do frequently get told I look younger, but I think that’s down to having good hair that hasn’t changed colour yet despite being menopausal and I think that helps, or in this case hinders!