DP friends wife, AIBU?

[MooreMooreMoore]

DP has a big group of former colleagues and their partners who regularly meet up. They are all really nice, one woman insists on prefixing my name with ‘young’ eg. Can you pass the wine to ‘young Emma’. I am the only Emma, so she’s not differentiating between old and young Emma.
We are all within a 4 year age range, I’m the same age as half the group including her husband, we all have comparable education and success levels.
I need a nice retort to put a stop to it, but something that won’t highlight me as the problem, but it’s annoying me, she’s ever so nice, but it still feels I dunno belittling.
AIBU? Is it me? Would this annoy you?

Well just go with it - I don’t know why you wouldn’t retort with “old xxx”. She’s doing it to you?

I sense a little uptightness from your replies so maybe you just need to worry less 😁

Have you ever mentioned to her about looking young? Could she be jokingly mocking you for saying you look younger?

When I first read your post I assumed you were early twenties and she was trying to be superior. But now it turns out you’re all in late 40s, early 50s? And you’re menopausal & a grandmother! So there is no way that it’s supposed to be to make you seem young & silly!

Was there ever a conversation where you were referred to as a Young Granny? And she’s carried it on from that? It might be annoying but it doesn’t sound like she’s being mean.

Choices:

1. Embrace it - surely you’re of an age where young is good!
2. Quietly ask her why she calls you that
3. Ask the person sitting next to you why she calls you that.
4. As others have suggested laughingly reply ‘thank you old Suzy’
5. Reply in kind ‘thank you young Suzy’
6. State that she reminds you of your Gran because she used to call you ‘young Emma’ & answer her ‘thanks gran’ next time she says it.

I too thought you were all young 20/30-somethings!

To be honest I don't think she's being mean or playing games - from what you say she has no reason to.

I think it's just something that started because you look younger than you are, and when she first referred to you in conversation with someone in the group she prefaced your name with 'Young'.

In my bookclub our youngest member has just turned 70 and I sometimes refer to her as Young Brenda!

Vintage 🤣🤣🤣🤣I love that

I think I’d ask her in a moment when theres a pause on convo at the dinner table
What is the story about “Young Emma”? Is it that I’m younger than you? Younger looking than you? You have another Emma in your entourage who is older? Or simply because you're trying to undermine me in some way?
I think its done its time now, hmmmm ?🤨

I would just ignore it.

But you could ask her quietly “I am really curious about why you call me young Emma “

Do not engage in any elaborate (or less elaborate ) passive aggressive nonsense .

I was going to suggest similar, but I'd make it matureD Margaret.

Mature alone can be a positive thing, but matured - when applied to a person - just means old!!

Not to derail, but all I can hear in my head is "Young Mr Grace", as the company owner of Grace Brothers was addressed and referred to when he must have been well into his 80s!

Presumably he must have been the youngest of the brothers, but then he continued to retain the identifying epithet in perpetuity as his older brothers died and nature took its course with him - a bit like with Neil the Baby in Gavin & Stacey!

It is almost exclusively used as a patronising figure of speech, unless it's an adult addressing a child or an elderly person talking to a much (decades) younger adult.

I had experience of this with colleagues who referred to our new boss as 'The Boy '. It was said with a sneer and never to his face. They were furious that he had got the Faculty Head job and dared to be young. It wasn't nice

Menopausal Mandy
Extra Mature Mandy

I worked with someone who used to say this with people - in her case she was very loud, dominant & had to have attention revolve around her. She at least mildly humorously, used to say it when with a much older senior person, who used to laugh along with it. I wonder if this woman thinks it’s funny to be calling you Young Emma when you’re obviously no younger than her, & a source of attention from the group. The fact that she’s blind to the power play by her doing it doesn’t help. I’d just humour her smile & move on. And say back “oh yes how are you doing Old Louise are you holding up? Can I get you a chair old Louise? You ok dear?”! If she feigns surprise & offence (likely with these types who love playing the victim too) just say “oh well you're always going on about how much older you are than me Old Louise so what’s your problem?!”