DP friends wife, AIBU?

[MooreMooreMoore]

DP has a big group of former colleagues and their partners who regularly meet up. They are all really nice, one woman insists on prefixing my name with ‘young’ eg. Can you pass the wine to ‘young Emma’. I am the only Emma, so she’s not differentiating between old and young Emma.
We are all within a 4 year age range, I’m the same age as half the group including her husband, we all have comparable education and success levels.
I need a nice retort to put a stop to it, but something that won’t highlight me as the problem, but it’s annoying me, she’s ever so nice, but it still feels I dunno belittling.
AIBU? Is it me? Would this annoy you?

“It’s a lovely compliment that you think I look young for my age, but I’d prefer you call me Emma” fixed stare.

Well she's not THAT nice is she, not getting your name right and prefixing it with a weird "young" word ...

"you don't have to call me young Emma, Emma is fine" or one of the phrases a pp has recommended ...

practice it, it's easy 😃

oh and report back 😋

Call her Yoda. When she’s confused say you thought she was imitating Yoda’s who says Young Padawan. And compliment her for being witty as it took you a while to figure out why she called you that way.

Or you can just start calling everyone else Young xx as you didn’t want people feeling left out without a nickname. And thank her for the idea.

At my first job I was a manager at 22 and it really rubbed some people the wrong way. Not all of them, there was a 62 year old who was my right hand woman. I had a 30 year old associate who would call me Boss Baby, Mini Manager, lots of variations of that, so one day I called her Ancient Associate. We did get called in to a meeting but she stopped.

Oh stop putting yoursef down you dont look that old...

She's just making herself look like a bellend. Personally, I'd let her carry on doing that.

innocent ‘did dp ask you to call me young Emma? I’ve always wondered why on earth you do it and I just can’t think of any plausible reason?’

“YOUNG Emma? Thanks, but I think at this stage you can just call me Emma now” <cringey fake laugh>…”Who needs the pressure of living up to being ‘Young’ Emma?!” …. <more cringey fake laugh>

If she then tries to insist she was only paying a compliment and makes you sound ungrateful, reply with “Trust me, the compliments have been well received thank you, but everyone just calls me Emma, which i prefer” <smile/hard stare if no one else is looking>

If she carries on after that, she looks like the twat, not you.

It would annoy me to death. I'd probably say 'does my youthful appearance make you feel your age?' or something.

Next time she does it, say, "thanks, must be my new moisturiser"?

I wouldn't be bothered but if you dislike it, you dislike it Is she older than her husband? Does she mind that?

Yes. Or ‘ancient Angela’.

It’s not actually a nickname, though. It’s just a prefix that she adds for some reason. It’s possibly slightly patronising but it’s not a rude or unkind prefix. If it was’Silly Emma’ or something, that would be different.

You don’t see these people very often - can’t you just ignore it? Seems a strange thing to get so wound up about tbh

My colleague used always refer to another male colleague as “young Bob”. In his head, I think he was showing respect to them, but “young Bob” was more than a decade older than him & close to retirement, so it just highlighted his age all the time.

You asking why she does it, doesn’t mean you’re making it a problem. She’s the one using this language and upsetting you. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask to be addressed by your name. If she’s genuinely as nice as you’ve said, she’ll be mortified and stop. If she’s not, then at least you know.

Perfect

You don’t need any of this would be clever shit - “Please could you just call me Emma?” would work perfectly.

Im with the others who suggested you ask outright and pleasantly "is there a reason you call me that?" and then follow up with "i prefer just emma thanks".

Does your partner not clock it? Would you rather they ask outright?

Oh, no - thankfully. It's just that a traditional informal name for Bridget is Biddy - which goes after 'Old' very satisfyingly!

I'd just ask her why she calls you 'young Emma' with a slightly bemused/confused expression.

Depending on her response, reiterate that you're not particularly young given the company.

If she continues, I would keep reiterating that you're confused why she calls you that. Keep it straight.

It would irritate me too. Like people you don't know/or like that much trying to force a nickname on you.

I would.

this is like a term of endearment in some circles so maybe you’re reading it a bit wrong ?

I don't think a comment would make you seem like the problem. Next time she says it, ask in as nice a tone as possible "just out of interest Maureen, why do you always call me young Emma? I'm the same age as most of the group, and a grandma to boot." Then just smile and look at her while waiting for her to answer. I wouldn't think badly of someone who asked this in a group.

Alternatively, if her name begins with M then maybe Mature Margaret or Middle-aged Mandy will put her in her place 🤣

I’d take it as a compliment!

She's jealous of you, basically

Next time she does it, wait for complete silence so everyone can hear, then say 'why do you always call me young??? Please stop'.