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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Settle a serious argument between DH and I…

192 replies

PinkponyclubOG · 27/05/2025 17:12

A sharp or even mild cheddar does not belong on top of an authentic Lasagna..

DH is calling me fussy and that I’m turning into my bat shit mother who will only eat straight chips because I am protesting that the flavours don’t go.

It’s doesn’t even melt the same FFS.

OP posts:
sposabagnata · 28/05/2025 11:09

Gettingbysomehow · 28/05/2025 10:58

Well cheddar because I'm not Italian. But if I was Italian I,d be horrified. So I'm piggy in the middle here.

If you were Italian you would likely think it perfectly reasonable that the cook was using the local hard cheese.

Gettingbysomehow · 28/05/2025 11:33

sposabagnata · 28/05/2025 11:09

If you were Italian you would likely think it perfectly reasonable that the cook was using the local hard cheese.

Well cheddar is my local hard cheese. I'm from Somerset.

sposabagnata · 28/05/2025 11:42

Gettingbysomehow · 28/05/2025 11:33

Well cheddar is my local hard cheese. I'm from Somerset.

That’s exactly my point! It’s the OP’s local hard cheese too.

MNers get terribly exercised about the idea of mythical Italian purists and I am trying to explain to them all that actually the most authentically Italian approach to cooking is to use the regional ingredients that are available to you!

TunnocksOrDeath · 28/05/2025 11:52

If I am eating in a restaurant, I expect deviation from a classic recipe to be mentioned on the menu so I can decide whether I want it. If I'm eating at home, I eat whatever I want, traditional be damned. Just call it something else if it makes you feel better.
Anyone bringing mild cheddar into our home would be struck off the Christmas card list though.

PointsSouth · 29/05/2025 11:20

UnctuousUnicorns · 27/05/2025 19:34

Remember, English politeness/self effacingness (is that a word?)
dictates that the writer lists themself last in a couple or group. So, DH/DW and I are etc. Or he spoke to DB, DF and me. Most people don't bother now, but strictly speaking it's correct.

That's not a rule of grammar though it might be a rule of etiquette. But if so, it's one that, as a professional (English) writer (of English) now well into their sixties, I've never encountered.

Grammarnut · 29/05/2025 18:42

MovingBird123 · 27/05/2025 20:30

Depends on the "vibe" you want for dinner. Sometimes I fancy a good quality pasta in Italian style, sometimes I just want comfort food, super water-logged pasta covered in something cosy.

I never want water-logged pasta - who on earth would?

MovingBird123 · 30/05/2025 22:47

Grammarnut · 29/05/2025 18:42

I never want water-logged pasta - who on earth would?

Me...

Just nice and soft, no pretence of al dente.

Thiswayorthatway · 30/05/2025 22:57

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 27/05/2025 17:14

Who cares about "authentic"? Melted cheddar tastes delicious on lasagna and other tomato-based pasta dishes. Unless your nonna is going to spank you with her wooden spoon or you're entering a Tuscan cooking competition, why not?

And it's "me and DH", if you're going to be particular.

No OP was correct to say DH and I

Threecraws · 30/05/2025 23:02

It's fine on top of a non authentic lasagne though.

tinnitinous · 30/05/2025 23:12

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 27/05/2025 17:14

Who cares about "authentic"? Melted cheddar tastes delicious on lasagna and other tomato-based pasta dishes. Unless your nonna is going to spank you with her wooden spoon or you're entering a Tuscan cooking competition, why not?

And it's "me and DH", if you're going to be particular.

It’s ‘DH and me’ 🙂

Grammarnut · 31/05/2025 13:07

MovingBird123 · 30/05/2025 22:47

Me...

Just nice and soft, no pretence of al dente.

Fair enough.

Grammarnut · 31/05/2025 13:33

Thiswayorthatway · 30/05/2025 22:57

No OP was correct to say DH and I

I was taught at school (yonks ago) only to use 'I' in any construction. This is incorrect but my school had decided that teaching grammar was old-fashioned and unnecessary, so could not teach subject/object as - grammar being unnecessary - it was unnecessary to know this. The lack of structured grammar teaching has crippled my writing all my life - if you don't know which construction is correct then you cannot subvert it or manipulate it.

jrc1071 · 31/05/2025 18:32

Don't ask an Italian this question.... LOL

Happydays2025 · 31/05/2025 18:34

Who gives a shit

Pawparazzi · 31/05/2025 19:01

No, it's 'DH and me...'

Pawparazzi · 31/05/2025 19:03

tinnitinous · 30/05/2025 23:12

It’s ‘DH and me’ 🙂

It's definitely 'DH and me ...', not 'DH and I ...' or even 'me and DH ...'

WeWannaBeDogLikeSparky · 31/05/2025 20:32

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 27/05/2025 17:14

Who cares about "authentic"? Melted cheddar tastes delicious on lasagna and other tomato-based pasta dishes. Unless your nonna is going to spank you with her wooden spoon or you're entering a Tuscan cooking competition, why not?

And it's "me and DH", if you're going to be particular.

Nope, it’s “DH and me”, if you’re going to be grammatically correct ;)

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