I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Isn’t it just?

They won’t get UC, it really is just for the lowest incomes unless renting or high childcare costs.

First off, just wanted to say you're not alone—so many families are feeling this right now, and your post really struck a chord. You're doing everything right: working, side hustling, budgeting, cooking from scratch, cutting back—and still it's tight. That’s not a failure on your part, it’s a reflection of how tough things have become out there.
One thing that really helped me (and a lot of others in a similar boat) is discovering Dave Ramsey and his Baby Steps approach to managing money. I know you already follow Martin Lewis, which is brilliant for UK-specific savings tips, but Dave’s steps are more about creating a plan that helps you feel in control again—even when times are hard.
He talks about building a small emergency fund first, then focusing all energy on clearing debt (if you have any), and then gradually building up savings and stability. The mindset shift it gave me was massive. He also has tons of free stuff—YouTube videos, podcasts, and a book called The Total Money Makeover which lays it all out.
Even if you don’t follow it exactly, it’s empowering to have a simple, structured plan. Might be worth a look, especially when everything feels overwhelming.
Sending you strength—you’re clearly working incredibly hard and doing everything you can for your family. 💐 You’ve already achieved so much (owning a home, raising a family, side income!), even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Hang in there. x

She doesn’t need to work 24/7

but to work 10/5 would be a start so 50hrs a week

No one needs (or, no one should need) to work 50 hours a week. Full time is from 35 hours.

The issue is they’re only working about 45 hours combined. That’s how much I work as a single person!

But yeah they don’t need to work 50 hours - if they were both working 35 hours each that would be sufficient.

However if one of them wants to continue working reduced hours , the other will indeed need to work 50 hours - if they want to improve their financial situation.

What a load of hyperbole! No has suggested anyone should work 24/7.

When did working a normal full time week - 37.5 hours - become such a huge deal? Honest to god it’s like some people can’t fathom that it’s an entirely normal thing for adults to do! I swear some people nowadays see a full time job as an infringement of their human rights! The OP and her husband are currently not working much more than that between the two of them! It’s no wonder they’re struggling - so would loads of families if they only worked part time in low paid jobs.

Agreed. 24/7 would be unreasonable. 40/168 each would not be.

50hrs is 10hrs a day - 8/6 quite normal

This with bells on.

I don't know anyone who works 8-6. That's a very long work day.

It is a failure on both their parts when they are only working part time

8-6 would be a standard day, even a short day in many professions.
Still, even if @36912aceg and her husband worked say 70 hours between them, they would have a much better household salary than they do now.

@rainingsnoringi agree. Many professionals routinely work long hours. Even in a ‘job’ rather than a professional role, 8-4 or 9-5 are perfectly normal, so with a 30 minute lunch break that’s 37.5 hours a week. The OP and her DH each work significantly less than that. No wonder they feel they don’t have enough money

@36912aceg has vanished since mumsnetters suggested that 45 hours between them working just isn't enough. They do get universal credit she admitted.

She's wearing rose spectacles saying that her husband is so clever had a very good job he lost and can't find an equivalent post. Well this does happen my son was in this position until the whole industry contracted because of outside forces. Along with many others worldwide his job vanished. His company vanished. It's crap when you have a family to support.

It doesn't matter how clever you are if no-one wants your services .
.

If you read the posts you would see that OP said that they are actively looking for extra hours. It is not easy juggling several part-time job hours to make up full-time hours without overlapping - or timings so perfect that one parent is home so there is no need to pay for expensive childcare.

The OP was having a vent and has not been back since (maybe they secured some extra hours!)

I did part-time jobs which exceeded normal full-time hours. It led to a lot of mum guilt and a whole load of issues surrounding that. With the benefit of hindsight, it might have been better for me (the lower earner) to be at home more.

the simple fact is they can’t afford for both of them to only work part time hours. The solution of which one of them gets a full time job while the other increases their hours.

@GwendolineFairfax8well perhaps the OP needs to accept that paying for some childcare is part and parcel of life as a parent. The kids are in school so it’s only wraparound and holiday care that’s needed. Even on NMW, there’s still a profit to be made.

Minimum paid annual leave is 28 days - so that’s 56 days so that’s over 11 weeks between them. School holidays total about 13 weeks a year. So, for example, if the parents wanted to take a fortnight annual leave together, they’d only be looking at 4 weeks of school holiday childcare needed, as one parent can be available the rest of the time.

It just comes across as so unrealistic and entitled for the OP to be moaning about her situation when neither of them even work a full week.

Really ? I know tons.

and many do 12hrs. Esp nannies

8 till 6 is very normal in lots of fields.

The energy price cap is due to fall about 7% on July 1st. You said your energy costs vary each month. Can I suggest you try to get a good fixed price tariff starting in July which should save you money. You'll also know exactly how much it will cost each month so you can budget better.
Apologies if someone has already suggested this as I haven't read the whole thread.
Good luck

But not so standard that it should be OP’s benchmark for what’s considered working full-time: ONS has 36.5 hours as the national average full-time role. There’s a reason the song is 9-5!

Yeah also if Op is used to working so few hours it may be a bit of a leap for her to go up to 50 hours. She would be fine with 35-40 hours and could more realistically aim for that.

Well it's up to the OP what they do. Work more hours, budget more effectively - there seems to be quite a lot of money unaccounted for so a lot of the issues could be solved by prioritising their money, or a bit of both.

What isn't going to work is continuing to work part time while spending money without thought.

teachers?