To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

Had a fight with my waffle maker once. Cut my finger down to the bone somehow.

This is a just and fitting punishment for the crime of freezing cheese 😱

I don't have anything that can rival the pearls on here, but I did lose a toenail after dropping a plate on my foot while doing the dishes. Broke the plate, too.

Broke my leg to avoid treading on my dog.
I had to have surgery and I now have a metal plate and 6 screws.

Father Christmas gave me a stapler in my Christmas Stocking when I was about 8? I appeared in my Mum & Dad’s bedroom very early that Christmas morning having stapled my two index fingers because I thought I had to ‘close’ the stapler! 😂

Dislocated my thumb putting on skinny jeans.

Not me but a friend.

He was opening some champagne with a sword (as you do).

If you do this the cork doesn't come out the top of the bottle with the cork i comes off, and in his case flew in to the air, did a number of summersaults and then hit him sharp glass side in the forehead. He was left with a 'z' shaped cut.

A few days later we were shopping and he asked, "what does it mean if my cut is itching?"

I said, "It means Voldamort is around" I don't think I have been forgiven for that.

I had a fall, I landed on all fours and my belly seemed to just split. It wasn't painful, there was hardly any blood but I posted a couple of pictures on sporner corner and it was too much for them.

Almost blendered off the top of my finger making cupcakes

Tripped in bare feet and lost a chunk of my big toe because it literally PEELED from my toenail forward

Broke a major bone tripping over in a shop in my 20s

Gave myself a concussion accidentally headbutting a shelf at work

Gave myself a stomach ulcer by not getting a chance to eat at work for several months

Gave myself trenchfoot as a student by wearing crap shoes in the rain

Multiple sprained ankles just living my life

Tore a quad walking into a shop

It's a wonder I've survived this long to be bonest

I broke a toe by hitting it with a sledge hammer. Accidently, I mean.

Whilst taking the wrapper off a frozen pizza that I was going to cook for the kids tea
A frozen,piece of cheese bounced off the package, straight into my eye ouch..

You can’t leave it at that!!!!!

I have an Olympic gold medal in clumsy accidents! I broke a rib coughing - had to have an injection of morphine!
Broke my toe on the bed while kissing my child goodnight
Stood up after breaking toe and smashed head into open window frame requiring staples
Lost a tooth while eating clear soup
Pulled a muscle in my groin while attempting to shag my husband.. hadn’t actually got to second base yet
The list is endless… great thread!!

This made me laugh out loud.
Still laughing 🤣🤣

Didn't mind the gap when getting on the tube and one leg slipped down to the knee, where it was squashed between the train and platform. Horribly bruised.

Stood up on the coach to talk to people sitting a few rows in front, my back facing the steps down to the toilet. Lost my balance and fell down the steps, putting my hand out to try to break my fall and sprained my wrist so badly I had to do all my exams on a computer.

Took a chunk off my thumb with a cheese slicer.

Pulled my shoulder out taking a sports bra off....

My most significant injury ever was entirely my fault. I had a pile of clean washing in a wire basket to be put away, but it was Saturday night and I felt like relaxing with a few drinks so left it in front of my bedroon cupboard to do in the morning.

Got up in the night for a wee, fell over it and broke my right wrist (fractured radius, right into the joint). DH said he had never heard anything like the scream. The surgeon said the wrist joint looked like it was "full of cornflakes". Plate and nine screws needed and I couldn't write for weeks as I am super right handed and can do very little with my left (luckily could still type).

I threw out the wire basket and replaced it with a wicker one as the wire one made me feel sick to look at. I have never left anything on the bedroom floor since then and I also always use the light of my fitbit to light my way to the loo in the night, just in case.

Did you buy the house though?

I broke a finger once trying to break a Kit Kat chunky in half by hitting it on the table. I had put it in the fridge and twatted my hand not the table. Was in a splint for 6 weeks.

DH ripped out a tooth eating al dente broccoli.

He also had a potentially far more serious one, he still has a scar of a gash on his nose from walking too close to a helicopter propeller while it was turning on. A plastic surgeon offered recently to make the scar less visible, DH said no as he wants to keep the reminder of his stupidity! ( I have never known him without the scar so it is part of him for me).

Burned myself on a hand held clothes steamer. It had some fluff on it so I wiped it on the dressing gown I was wearing. Steamer decided to eject stream of steam at this moment. I still have the scars.

I then did the exact same thing a few weeks later.

Fucking hell!!!!!!!!

Dropped a bottle of nail polish remover over the sink, it bounced upwards off the tap and splashed in my eye. Had to go to a&e and get my eye washed out.

Oh, and many many accidents involving superglue. Here’s a tip: if you ever somehow superglue your fingers together/to someone/something, then nail polish remover might help

When I first joined MN a billion years ago, we didn't have smart phones. I was sitting at the desk browsing MN on my laptop whilst breastfeeding newborn DD. Finished, I handed a sleepy, milk-drunk DD over to DH for a nappy change, proceeding to slam the laptop shut on my already red raw nipple. Ironically, I'd been posting about my sore nipples. I should have sued.

Used veet on my bikini line as I'd done a million times before. Noticed a burning sensation but nothing awful. Took it off anyway and I had two big red lines either side. Haven't used it since (obviously). Just glad it wasn't all over my legs!

Not Me but a friend on a first date many years whist drunk decided to leap frog, some benches whilst walking to the next pub fell flat on her face and smashed her two front teeth out not a good look...