To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

I tripped on a crazy golf course in the Netherlands, fell forward and rammed the golf club into my neck. It only just missed my larynx. My neck was horribly bruised and it made swallowing almost impossible. I hardly ate anything for days.

Years ago when computer monitors were big and heavy I was talking to my mother on the phone and the cat objected to being ignored. After several attempts at clawing my leg he got cross and tried to climb up the net curtains. Eventually I gave up on my phone conversation and climbed on the table to retrieve the cat. I forgot the table wasn't weight bearing. I fell backwards, the computer monitor crashed into my chest and I hurt my back and broke three ribs. Meanwhile the curtain tore and the very cross cat fell on top of me too.

When I was about eight years old I somehow managed to staple my two thumbs together. Still not sure how that happened but it was painful!

I did exactly this too 😢

Also, as a kid I was pretending to be a horse, tripped over my jump and smashed my teeth and jaw in 😩

This will be outing...fall on a glass table whilst walking backward trying to take picture of the bride. Got stuck in the said table and had to be pulled out. Yes I had injuries and still have scars

Caught my sleeve on a door handle, pulled it off in a rage and punched myself square in the tit. Hurt like a bastard, until I did the exact same thing a week later. This time I punched myself square in the already bruised tit. That really hurt like a bastard.

As a child

• walking along a low brick wall, slipped legs went either side and grazed both thighs from knee to groin.
• unscrewed the bottom of a flask of hot tea, glass side fell out scalding the inside of my thigh; was wearing a ribbed patterned knitted skirt, the scald pattern was striped.
• burned my hand while trying to light the hob with a match - a spark jumped into the barely open, almost full box and ignited all the matches while I was holding it; ended up with my hand in a plastic bag for a couple of weeks while having twice daily burns cream applied to try and avoid skin grafts (I did thankfully).

As an adult

• gave myself a black eye and massive egg on my temple opening car door - was in a parking bay by some shops and trying to get in quickly, caught temple with corner of car door; looked like I’d been punched in the face.
• broke my little toe after catching it on a plastic baby gym leg while babysitting
• fell down a flight of stairs on the way to the toilet in a restaurant in Richmond and bruised my leg from ankle to thigh. Was so painful the next day I couldn’t drive or go to work - and I wasn’t even drunk when I did it.

Oh, and almost tore my toenail off when I accidentally ran over it with a rather full, heavy suitcase. DSis had to reposition it straight and put a dressing on to keep it in place!

Black eye from punching myself when trying to open a very rusty rotary washing line. Bruised chin, bitten tongue and cut lip from punching myself trying to open up a stiff, slightly bent clothes airer. Broken ribs from falling out of bed onto a pile of books.

I now have some pretty gnarly nerve damage in my dominant hand - waiting on an MRI to determine exactly how much damage I caused and if it can be fixed…..
But I was making cupcakes and trying to cut a piping tip out of a piping bag. Metal on metal, slipped and plunged the point of a kitchen knife into the webbing between my thumb and forefinger. Knife got stuck in my hand and like an idiot: I panicked and yanked it out 😵‍💫🫣 Kitchen looked like a crime scene.

Put my hand down on a mousetrap in the kitchen - mice really have no chance.

Touched an electric fence in a field to see if it was live. It definitely was.

Sore subject right now haha I collided with a very big dog whilst walking my dog and I’ve fractured my tibia so gotta have an op in the morning to put a plate in my knee . A&E told me it was only dislocated since last week til a doctor looked over my injuries this morning . I’ve been in agony for nearly a week wondering why I’m not feeling any better .

I was sleeping late one morning and was woken up by the doorbell. I was expecting some parcels so I shot out of bed at top speed and went to put on my dressing gown. Unfortunately, one of my arms had gone to sleep where I’d been lying on it. I was trying to get this dead arm into the dressing gown sleeve and it was swinging around uncontrollably culminating in it rising up of its own accord and punching me in the eye, hard. I was halfway down the stairs before I realised I didn’t have a doorbell and the ringing must have been a dream.

As a small child walking along the street, I noticed a shop which had its awning out. I decided to run through the side bit (a strip of canvas which hung from the awning to the pavement) but instead of the canvas giving way & flapping about, I ran slap bang into a wall-mounted postbox on the other side of it, face first. Cue tears & a nose bleed. And feeling stupid.

That sounds horrific! Sorry about your eye.

Oh I had to escape a field of aggro cows with my dog as a child. I had to throw her over the electric fence and then jump over too but missed the mark and got electrocuted..

Was not a pleasant experience 🤣 my dog was fine though thankfully!

Name changed as these are all identifying.

Walking from the car park into work (6th form college). Slipped on a plastic speed bump. Broke my nose, cut my face, including a nice hole above my upper lip. Still have the scar. Luckily no kids in that day!

Age 9 got in an inflatable dinghy at the beach, it was immediately tipped over by a wave and I cracked my head open on shingle. Lots of blood.

Age 11 wanted to iron some shorts. Couldn't be bothered with the ironing board, so just put a towel on the floor. Rested the hot iron on my thigh. Had a lovely scar for ages.

There was a pile of washing on the floor, which annoyed me, so I kicked it.
My foot went through the pile of clothes easily enough, then hit the wall. My toes hurt a bit but seemed fine, however the top of my foot swelled and bruised and after a few days I went to the Dr., she laughed at me and sent me for x-rays. I'd broken some cuneiform bones - I had to stay off the foot so the washing pile got even bigger.

Leaned over a running hot tap topless and scalded my nipple.

Stood on a rake, numerous times.

’Tested’ the water with my hand when running our boiling water tap. More than once. Idiot.

Left an eye-level cupboard door open, bent down and then stood up into the bottom corner of it. That really bloody hurt.

Cutting a frozen tea cake in half and slicing the top of my little finger off. What a dope.
Luckily, docs were able to reattach and I just have a little scar there now.

I was jumping up and down, playing with my toddler niece, when I landed awkwardly on my ankle (we were on cobbles) sprained ankle blew up like a balloon.

Oh, and ironed a shirt while wearing it. I still have a tiny triangular burn mark on my solar plexus, decades later.

I was going to say this one - glad I'm not the only one!

I shut my thumb in a Quinny pushchair in B and Q car park when it did its fancy pneumatic assembling itself thing.
I was holding DS so couldn't undo it for ages, having no spare hands. Had to flag down a passing mum to help.
I sold it and bought a cheap pushchair after that!

I did that too!!

From a 2001 BBC report. (Needing treatment by medical staff)

Nearly 6,000 people were hurt after tripping over their trousers or falling down stairs while pulling them up.

Thousands of people are injured each year in the home
And 10,773 are hurt each year in accidents involving socks and tights.

Other injuries included:

13,132 people injured after incidents involving boiling vegetables
1,810 people walking into tree trunks or cutting their hands on them and 1,171 after accidents involving leaves, such as slipping
Incidents involving bird baths accounted for 311 trips to casualty
3,421 people are injured annually in accidents involving clothes baskets

There's some dangerous stuff going on in our lives!

I was pruning a shrub that had a large trunk, I slipped with the tree scissors (no idea what they’re called), punched myself in face and gave myself a black eye.

Put my back out picking up an empty glass from a table.