To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

[Fallinleaves]

I’ll start… 3 days ago I took a chunk out of my thumb whilst putting my socks on because I had a really rough toenail I hadn’t noticed. It’s like a paper cut but worse! Still hurts, still stings with everything that touches it 3 days on 😭. Please make me feel better….

I slipped on a slice of lemon from a g&t and broke my foot

I've managed to poke myself in the eye with my toothbrush while brushing on more than one occasion.

Walking our dog with one of those rope style extendable leads, mad dog saw something to chase, shot behind me, then ran in front. The lead had secured itself behind my knees and as he bolted further forward the rope dragged behind both knees. I had proper rope burns on the back of both knees, which was incredibly painful, it took ages to heal due to being in an area that is constantly bending.

Nearly broke my nose when trying to vacuum between the seats of the leather settee, the attachment suctioned itself to the leather and as I yanked it back I hit myself on my beak with it, ooh did that bring tears.

I had a ridiculous gardening injury that resulted in a garden fork going into my nose, had to get a tetanus shot for that one 🤦‍♀️😂

Oops sorry @doodleschnoodle I was initially responding to your post too and forgot. I had a similar incident with curling tongs (which were on my bed) sat on them and had a lovely long burn mark on the back of my thigh for weeks.

Dropped a wine glass on my foot and needed 14 stitches. I wasn’t even drunk, I did a 12 hour day as a flight attendant and was sitting on the sofa nodded off after a couple of sips. The glass hit the coffee table, broke and hit the top of my foot. Went to a & e with a sanitary towel on it, was the cleanest and most sanitary thing to put on it 😂

Tore a ligament on my middle right hand finger taking my socks off, when I went to A&E 2 days later they weren't busy so we're enjoying themselves at my expense i was known and called the sock injury. When I left the hospital with a splint on my finger I crossed the road and promptly fell flat on my face outside a pub.

Fell out of my friends car, from the front passenger seat completely sober.

Tripped over the dogs bed with a 1/2 full bottle of wine in one hand and dirty glasses in the other, managed not to break any of that got covered in wine, head to foot and badly bruised.

Disappeared into a pile of snow at the bottom of a pylon when skiing in poor visibility, luckily one of dsd's was behind me and saw so i was dug out quite quickly. Also, on a ski lift my dh manged to swing it so much I fell off, before we got the bar down and landed like a cartoon in the snow.

Many more....

Punched myself in the face trying to pull my bedcovers up over me 😂

Walked into a door and gave myself a black eye. I'm not normally clumsy.

It was very funny for the next few days saying that and having people very concerned trying to find out if I was covering something up by using the traditional excuse.
Made more funny by that I'd had a huge bruise on my face a couple of weeks previously where I'd poked dh (he was snoring) and he flung an arm out and caught me on the cheek with a knuckle. (yes, he was totally asleep).
I do bruise very easily, and yes, he was contrite - even if he had no recollection of it at all.

Shut the door with one hand whilst the other hand was in the gap between the hinges. I was very sleep-deprived and stressed which is the only explanation I can muster. How I didn't break fingers I don't know but hoo boy did it crunch!

I broke my ACL and meniscus by sneezing when I was heavily pregnant.

Which after surgery (two years later cause no one believed me🤣) lead to sepsis, then a further surgery to wash it out and they realised it had failed, more sepsis and washout n2, then another surgery because 4y later I still have fevers when my knee swells up…

I’ve crippled myself for life just because I pivoted to avoid peeing my pants 🤣

Turning around on the street to look at someone ( being nosy at what they were wearing) walked straight into a pole side ways & had a bump on side of my head that made me look deformed

One for DH just yesterday. We are busy restoring an old wreck of a house. It's old enough for some of the doorways to be only about 6 foot high. They can't be enlarged as the house is literally built of stones and the doorways would probably collapse. Cue him spending the last few months, since we moved in, repeatedly saying to DS that when he grows taller he is going to have to remember to duck when he goes through those doorways (I am too short for it to matter). Last night DH walked slap bang into a doorway and bashed the front of his head, then fell backwards and bashed his elbow. It was a bit too scary to laugh at as there was a lot of blood! (He's fine though).

Oh God PP , that sounds awful. !
Was the injury very severe?

Breaking my hand punching a sofa

Mine are not as dramatic as some of these but I bruised my thumb picking up a plate, cut my finger on a slice of Christmas cake and managed to slice through my bum cheek in the shower, no idea how, there's nothing sharp in there?!

Baking a cake in a springform tin, didn’t fasten the spring. Lifted cake from the oven and put my oven-gloved hand on the base of the tin. Base and cake pushed up, I was left wearing a 160 degree springform ring on my left arm like a bangle 🤪

I once got sore cuts at the side of my mouth from eating pringles sideways.

It was a teenage thing, I can't even remember why there was a group of us doing it.

I burnt my tongue eating lots of wasabi peas.

@theDudesmummy - My father still sometimes banged his head on a low doorway after 30 years in the house...

I slipped over in a ham packing factory,whilst putting farts into the packaging.

Washing my hair in the shower I reached to turn the water pressure down but accidently turned the temperature up to maximum, massive red marks all over boobs and lay on the bed defrosting various bags of frozen vegetables. It was a few days before our daughter's wedding too.
One Christmas our daughter and her family were out doing the rounds of family and OH went to get something out of the garage freezer, he return with blood streaming down his face, I had warned him numerous times to lift the garage door properly. Other daughter and he spent a few hours on Christmas Day in A and E to get it stitched. Secretly I found getting lunch ready on my own far easier .

I assume this is a typo. Otherwise, you probably deserved it...

Broke my fingers on a spacehopper

Daftest was at the age of 10.

My middle older sister came downstairs crying, I asked what the matter was. She just beckoned me, so I followed her to her room. She pointed at the wall mounted angle poise lamp, minus the bulb.

"Did you stick your finger in there?" I asked... before doing the same. I had two little round burns, from the contacts.